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marysuevirusTitle: The Mary Sue Virus: Lights, Camera, Avengers!
Chapter Twenty Seven: Confrontation
Fandom: something like the Marvel Universe, leaning mostly toward the Movie!Avengers branch
Rating: 18 and up
Warnings: lots of sex and violence, language, anything else i can toss in. probably some drinking.
Disclaimer: the recognizable characters and places contained herein are the property of Marvel and whoever the hell else owns them.. i'm merely borrowing for the sake of entertainment. no money is being made from this venture. the Sues are the sole property of their originators,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
dazzledfirestar, mistress_o_muse, ginevrasm, rylan_m, and ladydeathfaerie. the concept and title of The Mary Sue Virus are used with permission from Dazzledfirestar.
The Mary Sue Virus: Lights, Camera, Avengers! - The Index
~*~
Phoebe watched as the door to the diner swung open and allowed the last two members of their party to enter. Miri and Alex were deep in conversation with one another, walking toward the table unerringly by instinct or a homing device or some other thing. Phoebe supposed it came from both their training as S.H.I.E.L.D. agents and the many times they'd been there before. The five of them always took the same table when they visited. And Alex and Miri were trained to be aware of their surroundings at all times, in the event of hidden threats. Still, it was kind of unnerving to watch the two of them make their way toward the table without ever once actually looking at the table.
In fact, they didn't look up until they'd finally taken their seats, both sliding into the booth almost as if it was something they did in their sleep every single night. The waitress showed up and took their drink orders as she put a menu before each one of them. Neither one opened their menus, instead rattled off their orders to the woman before she could wander away to get their drinks. Only when the waitress was gone did the two of them bother to actually glance up at the rest of the table. And it was plain to see that neither one of them really wanted to be there.
Damn. This was not going to go easy.
Phoebe let her gaze slide away from Alex and Miri to Elsa, who had already grasped the seriousness of the situation. She wasn't exactly frowning, but she wasn't smiling, either. Astrid, having arrived first, sat in the middle of everyone. Her hands were moving absently over some small piece of technology, but it looked to be a more comforting gesture than anything else. Her eyes were carefully monitoring everything the new arrivals did. Given what had happened the last time they'd all been together, Phoebe didn't think she could really blame the woman.
In the weeks following their meeting in Elsa's hospital room and the events that had occurred there, the five of them had mostly avoided spending time with one another. Phoebe knew that Miri and Alex had both been busy with trying to rebuild S.H.I.E.L.D. after HYDRA had nearly obliterated them. Between the deaths of agents at the base and those on the helicarrier, HYDRA had thinned S.H.I.E.L.D.'s ranks by more than half. Add into that the number of people that had been injured and the agency was operating on the bare minimum. And all of the remaining agents were working overtime in order to bring S.H.I.E.L.D. back to full operations.
Fury had kept her busy looking through top secret files ever since installing the promised computer systems above her book shop. For candidates. Of course she was doing so without the direct knowledge of the persons, and agencies or institutions they were connected to, involved. One of the duties Fury had given her. Naturally he'd provided her with a set of parameters and she was supposed to find individuals who met them. It was a screening process, to narrow down the prospective pool. She would turn her findings over to him and he would do the actual recruiting. It meant for long hours and she was glad that she had the aid of some of his more junior agents to help her around the store.
Even Tony had been spending far more time than he'd been comfortable with at S.H.I.E.L.D.'s temporary headquarters, holed up in meetings about tech and various other items that the agency would need. There had been more times than she liked when she'd had to force him to put something aside so he could eat. And sleep. She really had no idea what Elsa and Astrid had been doing since the attacks, but based on the circles under their eyes, they'd been just as busy as everyone else.
In short, people were stressed. Which did not bode well for the way this get together was going to go.
Alex slumped in her seat and crossed her arms over her chest. Miri let her gaze slide around the table, her expression suggesting she was not happy to see Astrid there. Finally, she brought her gaze back to where Phoebe sat and frowned. Intensely. "Explain this. Now." Her tone was terse and brooked no arguing.
Phoebe sighed and opened her mouth to begin, then had to wait as the waitress approached with the drinks the late arrivals had ordered. As well as the towering stack of onion rings Alex was going to snack on before she got her lunch. It was nice to know some things never changed. "You ladies need anything else?" the waitress asked, eyes roving the table slowly. If she noticed the tension that stretched painfully tight between them all, she said nothing. When it became apparent no one was going to say anything, Phoebe tossed her a grim smile and shook her head.
"I think we're good until the food arrives."
Their waitress nodded, then turned and walked off. Silence fell between them again as Phoebe searched for the right words.
"I asked Phoebe to call you." Astrid's voice was clear, if a little timid. Miri's gaze snapped her way, the disapproval that shone in her eyes and tightened her mouth rising by the second. Phoebe noted that Alex seemed indifferent to the situation, but there was a tightness at the corners of her eyes and mouth that belied her relaxed posture. She was as unhappy as Miri was. "I knew if I did, you'd never say yes. So don't get mad at her. She didn't do anything but agree to my plans."
"I see." Those two words were so icy, Phoebe wouldn't have been surprised to see icicles hanging in the air between Miri and Astrid.
"We need to talk this out, Miri. We can't keep going the way we are," Astrid persisted, though she was rapidly losing courage in the face of the other woman's temper.
"What is there to talk out, Astrid? You knew that Loki had made plans with HYDRA. You failed to report it to us before the attacks. Then, because Loki took you hostage, Thor left his post to save you. And people died." Miri replied curtly.
Alex looked up. There was nothing on her face to give away what she felt. "Coulson almost died. Clint almost died. Elsa could have died. People we care about could have died. There is nothing you can say that will make that all better."
"Don't you two think you're being a little unreasonable?" Elsa asked softly. Two sets of eyes, one set blank and the other set filled with simmering anger, turned her way. To Elsa's credit, she didn't wilt under their harsh stares. "There was no way Astrid could have foreseen everything that happened."
"You didn't see the mess HYDRA made of the base. You didn't see the twisted heap of junk that the helicarrier became," Alex pointed out reasonably politely. But there was a distinct lack of warmth to her voice that said everything she wasn't. "Miri and I waded through rubble and debris and blood and bodies while searching for survivors. You didn't see what that hell did to people. We had to drag friends and colleagues and lovers out of that shit because we were unprepared for HYDRA's attack. We lost friends and colleagues. We had to bury friends and colleagues."
Phoebe remained quiet, but she thought she understood what Alex hadn't said. No one had really seen what the wreck of the helicarrier had done to her. And to Miri. They'd both been trained to keep things to themselves, to push their emotions aside in the face of duty. But Phoebe had seen the reports from medical. And the standard psych evals that those who had survived had been ordered to undergo. The real toll of the disaster could be found in the things that no one was saying.
Months later, Miri and Alex were still caught up in that hell. It would take them a very long time to get over it.
"Maybe I could have done something to help save all those people. Maybe I couldn't have. We'll never know. Because all of that happened in the past and we can't change it. We can only move forward," Astrid pointed out quietly. There was strength in her voice this time, the quiet kind that said nothing anyone could do or say to her would be able to take that strength away. "And that won't happen if you two don't forgive me for this."
The waitress chose that moment to return with food, so everyone fell silent and faked their smiles as she handed the plates around the table. Upon ensuring that all was well, she wandered off and left them to their own devices. By silent agreement, they spent a few minutes starting on their lunches before anyone took up the topic of discussion again.
Phoebe watched as Miri and Alex focused all of their attention on their meals. Alex had finished off her onion rings before the meal had arrived and was already halfway through her bacon cheeseburger. Phoebe had to wonder if Alex ever ate and, if she did, what it was. Because it seemed like she was always hungry. There was a joyful abandon in the way the woman attacked her food. Where she put it all, Phoebe didn't know. Nor did she know how Alex kept herself in shape after eating like that. She didn't think she wanted to know.
Beside her, Miri ate with a concentrated effort that precluded the need to look at anyone. Her actions were tense and tight, as if she was expecting an attack at any moment. Phoebe held back a sigh and wondered how they were going to fix this. That faint and distant part of her that remembered being Rylan realized that this problem needed to be resolved in some way. That was part of why they were here, wasn't it? To solve this problem? What happened if they didn't? Would they never go home?
The silence squeezed closer around them, heavy and thick and uncomfortable. Phoebe was sure that it wouldn't last. Something had to give, had to break apart because the tension was so oppressive. It wouldn't take much. Just one wrong move or word and the illusion of calm would be shattered. She wondered just how much it would take to set the ticking time bomb of their emotions off.
Somehow, they made it through their lunch without any more major upsets. The waitress came and cleared away the mess of empty plates and partially drained glasses, left them each with a slip of green paper from an old fashioned order pad with the amount each of them owed scribbled on it. There was a smile face on Phoebe's, right next to the woman's cheerfully scrawled 'Thank you! Come again!' Thinking they were well past the danger of argument, Phoebe began digging for the money to pay for her lunch.
"I can't believe you're going to keep holding this against me!" Astrid snapped waspishly, her tone suggesting that whatever more pleasant emotions she'd arrived with were long gone. Phoebe thought she sounded like she was out for blood. And having seen footage of Alex and Miri in the middle of a fire fight, in the middle of a hand to hand brawl, in the middle of so much shit that most people would have curled up in a ball and whimpered, she couldn't help but thinking that Astrid was in serious trouble.
Miri and Alex looked up at her. It surprised Phoebe that Miri was the one seething with anger while Alex gave the appearance of being calm and collected. Every last bit of information she had on the two, gathered through simply spending time with them and sneaking peaks into their files, had said that Miri was the calm one and Alex was the one quick to rile. Seeing them behave in the exact opposite manner was odd. Alex was the one who answered, her voice far too soft and far too calm. "I'm sorry. I wasn't aware that I had to give up a good grudge when I'm all comfortable with it. Especially when it involves people I love nearly getting killed. I can hold on to a fucking grudge for fucking ever in that case, Astrid."
"There is nothing you can do or say that will make Alex and I think any differently about this. We don't have to forgive you for anything, Astrid. The truth is, you got a lot of people killed. And people we care about were almost among them. We don't owe you shit."
Astrid stared at them, momentarily at a loss for words. Her eyes darkened. Phoebe could see that she'd latched onto some new piece of logic. Astrid didn't disappoint. "You'd have done the same thing had Phil been the one in trouble. Or Clint."
"No. I wouldn't have." Miri slid out of the booth and got to her feet. She turned her gaze Alex's way. "Come on. Let's get back to work. We've wasted enough time here." Alex nodded and laid down some cash to cover her meal, then followed after Miri. The two of them had barely taken a step before Astrid's words brought them to a halt.
"Oh, I call bullshit! You would have and you know it!" The few patrons in the place turned to eye their table with mild interest. Alex and Miri turned to face them again. This time, Miri wasn't just pissed. She was incensed and her eyes were so dark, they were almost black. She took that one step back and put her hands on the table's edge, leaning down until she could stare Astrid in the eye.
"You're wrong, Astrid. I would never have needed to leave my post because Phil can take care of himself. He'd never end up in trouble. Neither would Clint." Miri paused, leaned closer. "And it doesn't matter how I feel about Phil or how Alex feels about Clint. It doesn't matter that we'd want to go after them if something happens to them. Our personal feelings cannot get in the way. One person, no matter how much we care about them, is not worth all of those lives."
Astrid stared after them, face slack and filled with disbelief, as Miri and Alex walked out of the diner. Neither one of them looked back.
~*~*~*~*~
Clint watched as Coulson set some paperwork aside and frowned at the faces surrounding him. Cap was leaning against the far wall, idly dragging pencil tip over paper in what he assumed were the gentle, broad strokes of an artist committing an image to permanence by drawing it. Thor stood in the corner, massive arms crossed over his chest as he stared absently into the room without really seeing anything. Stark had just come into the room not more than two seconds ago, naturally the last one to arrive and completely unconcerned about anything. There was some gadget or another in his hands and he was paying it more attention than the room at large.
Coulson cleared his throat, not very loudly, and brought every eye in the room his way. He planted his hands in the mattress and pulled himself up just a little bit, so he sat a touch straighter, and let his gaze slide around the room until it came to rest on Thor. "Is there some reason that we couldn't have held this meeting off for another few days? I'm due to be released soon and it would have been much more comfortable to do this in my office. Or anywhere else, really. Was it necessary to do this here? In my hospital room?"
Thor managed a look of chagrin, the expression somehow childlike and adult all at the same time. When he didn't speak right away, Coulson shot him a questioning look. It came complete with a raised eye brow that demanded he say something. The blonde seemed to be struggling for something to say or, rather, the right thing to say. Finally, after several long seconds of nothing, he drew a deep breath and just came out with it. "I wish to apologize to you all for my actions upon the helicarrier that day. Many lives were lost and many people were hurt as a result of the choice I made."
"Then why make the choice? Why would you leave in the middle of a battle when you knew people needed you and counted on you?" The question came from Rogers and it drew Thor's attention toward the good Captain.
"My brother had taken Astrid captive," Thor explained. As if that explained everything. Maybe it did. The room slid into silence as they contemplated that. Clint was fairly certain he knew what everyone in the room was thinking. He knew he was thinking the same thing. What would he have done if Loki had taken Alex?
For a moment, visions of horrible things crept through his mind and left him cold as ice. If Loki had kidnapped Alex and Clint's position had been switched with Thor's, would he have done anything differently? He'd like to think that he'd have done followed orders and done his duty because he knew that Alex could take care of herself. She was a highly trained S.H.I.E.L.D. agent and she had mad skills in various forms of self-defense. She could have held her own against Loki for a while. Maybe. The man did have magic at his fingertips and there's no telling what he'd have done with that. Alex had a tendency for flippant remarks and tons of sarcasm. Everything Clint knew about Thor's brother suggested he wouldn't take kindly to such things. There was no telling what kinds of things Loki could have imagined to do to Alex in such a situation.
He wasn't sure if he'd have left his post to save Alex. He'd like to think that he'd keep his priorities straight, but love did funny things to people's minds. It was entirely possible that his emotions would have gotten the better of him. He was only human and he had human desires. There was always a voice, soft and quiet and insistent, at the back of his head that said he needed to protect Alex, to keep her safe. Clint snuck a quick look around the room and decided that, based on the faces he was seeing, the others were likely thinking along the same lines.
The fact of the matter, though, was that even had he wanted to go after Alex, he'd have had no means of doing so. And he wouldn't have known where to start. Not to mention there was the fact that HYDRA was bent on bringing down the helicarrier and destroying people in the process. And, much as Clint loved Alex, he knew that she'd never forgive him if he let hundreds or even thousands of people die in order to save her life. He respected her far more than that.
"And the helicarrier had already been compromised," Coulson pointed out quietly. His words pulled Clint away from his thoughts and allowed him to give his attention to the room at large once more. Everyone was intent on Thor, trying to read the emotion on his face. It looked a lot like stubbornness to Clint. He'd seen that look on Alex's face quite a bit. "Had I not managed to make it to the bridge, I have no doubt that the carrier would have gone down in the middle of Midtown. Thousands of people would have been killed."
Coulson paused to allow Thor a chance to speak, but the big blonde obviously had nothing to say to that because he remained silent. Coulson's sigh was long and loud at that. "I seem to recall giving you a direct order, Thor. An order you decided to disobey. As a result of your choice, hundreds of S.H.I.E.L.D. personnel were killed or injured. Including Barton and myself."
There was an underlying tone of chastisement in Coulson's perfectly calm, perfectly polite voice. Coulson was good at sounding like that. Clint knew he'd had lots of practice over the years. He kept his gaze locked on Thor, waiting for an answer. They all did.
"It was never my intention to see any of you harmed in any way. But I could not leave Astrid in my brother's hands. Loki is mad and would stop at nothing to hurt me. In any way he could," Thor replied. There was a touch of anger in his voice, as if he didn't quite understand why everyone was upset, why they couldn't understand his position.
"Maybe before you came to Earth, you could go off alone at a moment's notice, Thor. But you're part of a team now. You're part of the Avengers. That means that you have to think about your teammates. You need to be aware of them. The way you were aware of your friends in New Mexico. You put yourself between them and Destroyer, Thor. You sacrificed yourself for your friends. You had no powers and yet you put yourself in harm's way," Coulson pointed out. Clint remembered those events. He'd been there. He'd seen the destruction left behind after Thor had finished off Destroyer.
"You do not know my brother as I do," Thor began. Coulson held up one hand and brought the God to silence.
"Everyone here had someone they cared about in the middle of the mess that your brother helped create. Miriam, Alex, and Phoebe were all left to fight off the HYDRA agents that stormed the base. They might have been capable of dealing with the situation, but that doesn't mean that Barton, Mr. Stark, or myself wouldn't have worried over them. Elsa was on the helicarrier. I don't recall Captain Rogers ignoring his orders in favor of ensuring that Dr. Jones was safe."
Not that Coulson had given Rogers very explicit orders. But still, what he'd seen in reports and the little he'd gotten from Alex told Clint that Rogers had used his shield with deadly force. "I had to protect Astrid from Loki," Thor insisted. It was beginning to sound like a broken record.
"Dude, don't you have any faith in her at all?" Clint asked.
Thor looked at him as if Clint had lost his mind and had asked him to skin cats with Mjolnir. "I have faith that my brother would do horrible things if given the chance."
"We all had loved ones caught in the middle of your brother's mechinations. We all would have had enough faith in them to hang in there until we could get to them. There were bigger problems to solve, bigger problems that took precedence over anything else we might have wanted to do. We were obligated to handle those problems first. You were obligated to handle those problems first."
Stark, who had put away his gadget or whatever it was, turned a wide-eyed stare Thor's way. "Wait a minute. Are you going to stand there and tell us that the needs of the one are far more important than the needs of the many? That isn't part of the deal in Asgard? Every man for himself and all that crap? Dude, that's it. You and I are going to sit down and watch Star Trek together. You've still got some things to learn."
"Star Trek?" Thor echoed. Clint bit back the smirk that wanted to come at the look of confusion on the big guy's face. He shouldn't have found it so easy to forget that Thor's knowledge of Earth culture was still fairly limited, but he often times did. And it was amusing as hell to see Thor try to puzzle things out without actually being forced to ask for answers.
"Its a movie," Stark replied. His attention was focused on his phone, thumbs flying as he typed something on the screen. "Hell, we'll schedule a marathon. Take a night to watch movies and bond and all of that crap we're supposed to be doing as a team. Right? Who doesn't like a movie night? I've got an home theater with surround sound and captain's chairs. We can make use of that."
Clint was not surprised.
"I'll ask Phoebe to go out for a night. She can ask the other girls to go with her so it can be a bro thing," Stark added, still staring at the screen. A bro thing? Clint blinked at that. When the hell had Stark picked up the word bro? Where had he even heard it? It wasn't the kind of language Clint expected to be used in Stark's circle of acquaintances.
"That might be asking too much, Stark," Steve told him. His words brought the man's eyes up so that he was looking at the good captain questioningly.
"How is that asking too much? They can go out and get a spa treatment or have dinner and talk about how horrible their boyfriends are or whatever it is women do when they have a girl's night out."
"It would be kind of difficult for them to talk about how horrible their boyfriends are when, to my knowledge, Miri and Alex are still not speaking to Astrid," Rogers replied quietly. Tony's eyes stayed locked on their team leader, his expression shifting from annoyance to confusion. Apparently he was unaware of the problems going on in that arena. To be honest, Clint didn't really know what the hell was going on, either
"They're... not talking to Astrid?" Silence fell for a few moments. Obviously Stark's huge brain was trying to turn that bit of information over. Clint had seen the look he wore before, his eyes gone distant and empty while he just thought and considered. In a matter of seconds, he blinked and it was plain to see that the knowledge was just right there. "Does this have anything to do with what happened in Elsa's hospital room?"
Coulson shot a glance toward Clint, one that plainly asked if he knew what the hell Stark was talking about. Clint shook his head, just as confused by this turn of events as the other man. "I believe so. I know that Elsa was going to meet up with Phoebe and Astrid and try to come up with some way of solving this problem." The look on Rogers' face suggested he didn't think it would happen.
"Just what did happen in Elsa's hospital room?" Coulson asked, using his politest, and therefore most authoritative, tone with Captain America.
"There was some kind of argument," Steve admitted. He was holding something back. Clint was sure of it. And if the look Coulson wore was anything to go by, he was sure of the same thing. What the hell had happened in Elsa's hospital room? The last Clint had known, Alex was pretty tight with Astrid. They'd gone to lunch together numerous times and acted like they were long lost sisters, not merely friends who had only met a few months ago.
Rogers' words brought a snort from Stark's throat and the sound drew every eye in the room his way. "Argument? Is that what you're going to call it, Cap? Because based on what I heard, you're seriously understating the events of that day."
"What did you hear, Stark?" Coulson asked, again in that same quiet voice that meant he wasn't going to take no for an answer. Truth be told, Clint also wanted to know what the hell he was talking about. In the aftermath of everything that had happened, between Alex's involuntary vacation and the rebuilding of S.H.I.E.L.D. and Clint's injury and recovery, there hadn't been much time to ask after her friends. And she hadn't volunteered any information. Maybe he should have asked.
"Phoebe was telling me that there was a big altercation in Elsa's room right after the helicarrier crashed, after we managed to pull you two out of there," Tony told them, his hand making a motion to loosely indicate both Clint and Coulson. Out of the corner of his eye, Clint saw Thor shift where he stood, just a slight movement that suggested he was nervous. Rogers, on the other hand, went stiff through the shoulders, his expression cold and closed off. Curious.
"And why were they in Elsa's hospital room that night?" Coulson asked. Clint knew that the night in question was the night they were sent to clean HYDRA out of their nest. Tony had mentioned that to him, prompting Clint to access a few computer files in order to read the whole official story. He was more than certain Coulson knew the whole story and then some.
"Astrid called them there. She'd seen the destruction on the news and wanted to be sure everyone was okay." Tony's attention was drawn back to his phone and his fingers once again began flying across the screen. "Thing is, apparently she admitted to everyone that she'd uncovered information about Loki's plans but she'd been unable to get said information to Fury. Add that to Thor leaving his post to rescue her from his insane brother and it was a recipe for disaster. Miri took the news rather poorly and attempted to strangle Astrid. Twice. Both Agents Grant and Quinn lay blame for your injuries at Astrid's feet. They haven't spoken to her since that night."
This was news to Clint. He turned to glance at Coulson and found that the man was deep in thought. He didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing where Miri was concerned. Not that he thought it mattered. Clint was pretty sure he could, at the very least, understand what Alex and Miri must have felt that night. It had been bad enough that they'd been through hell on base, trying to quell HYDRA's assault there. Then Fury had put them in the position of doing a search and rescue in what had remained of the helicarrier. And they'd both had to face some serious fears. It couldn't have been easy for Alex to have found Clint in that closet, bleeding out from a gun shot wound. Not when her emotions had been so raw and she'd been sure he'd hated her. Whatever Alex had felt in those moments and following days, Miri had felt them a thousand times more intensely.
Based on what Tony had told him, he figured it would be a cold day in hell before either of them bothered to find forgiveness for Astrid or Thor.
"Being shunned by her friends is tearing he apart," Thor supplied softly. He looked guilty. And maybe a little lost. And it was obvious that he cared about Astrid, wanted to see her as happy as she could be. "I have tried to find a way to solve this problem, but nothing has worked. I have no idea what I can do to help."
"Given what I've heard here, I don't think there's anything you can do, Thor. Alex and Miri are going to have to find a way to forgive Astrid on their own. In their own time. The same goes for their feelings toward you." Coulson leaned back against his pillows, his face cast in placid lines of emptiness that hid whatever it was he was feeling. Clint was almost positive his mind was turning, trying to find a way to nudge the girls in the direction of forgiveness. Clint wished Coulson luck. He knew better than to try that with Alex. She'd have his balls in the blink of an eye if he did. "But I do want to thank you both for keeping an eye on them while they were sweeping out the HYDRA nest. Its good to know that they had members of the Avengers at their backs."
"Don't thank me," Steve bit out, his tone cold. "I was just there, following orders."
Coulson said nothing about his lack of warmth, simply gave Clint a look that suggested he was going to find out what happened to put the frost into his voice. A glance at Thor showed him a look that was as empty and blank as Thor could ever manage. Oh, yeah. Something had happened there.
"Do you truly believe that Agents Grant and Quinn will find it in themselves to forgive Astrid?" Thor asked, a blatant attempt to turn the attention away from the HYDRA mission.
"I can't speak for Miri, but I know Alex has this thing about holding grudges. She really seems to enjoy it," Clint told him, letting a small smile curl up the corners of his mouth. "I suggest you don't hold your breath waiting for it to happen, big guy. I can't make any promises at all. But what I can tell you is that it has to be Alex's idea. Not yours or Astrid's. Cornering her about it will only make it a thousand times worse."
Thor digested that information for a moment or two before heaving a deep, heavy sigh. Clint noticed Coulson didn't offer any advice on Miri. Either he didn't want to speak for her or he wasn't sure that Miri would ever let things go. Either way, it was a no-win situation for Thor because he was caught in the middle of it. The big guy heaved a sigh and glanced around the room, his gaze sharp when it landed on Coulson and then Clint. "So you are saying there is nothing I can do to help Astrid with this?"
"Dude, have a little faith that she'll be able to figure out how to mend the rift," Clint told him. "Alex can be a bitch, but she isn't heartless. She just needs to let it go in her own time."
Thor turned a curious expression toward Coulson. The man offered a faint smile, the only answer he was going to give the God. Giving a nod that he understood, Thor pushed away from the wall and started for the door. "Thank you all for sparing your time. You've given me much to think on. I can only hope that you speak truly and our ladies find a solution to their problems."
He said nothing more and Clint watched him go, wondering if anything Coulson had said to him about abandoning his position had gotten through to him. Only time would tell. Thor took hold of the latch on the door and pulled. The panel swung wide to reveal Miri standing on the other side of it. She gave the blonde a politely cool look. "Agent Grant," he intoned before stepping aside to allow her entrance into the room. She stepped in past him, said nothing to acknowledge his words to her, and headed toward Coulson's bed. Thor slipped out the door without saying anything more.
Clint took Miri's presence as a sign that the meeting was over and it was time to head out. He pushed out of the chair he'd taken upon arrival and moved to greet her, offering her a hug. "Where's Alex?"
"Down in the waiting room. She was eyeing the vending machines when I left her. I think she's planning on grabbing dinner while she's there," Miri told him. Clint wouldn't at all be surprised.
"I'd better catch her before she picks something disgusting. I don't understand how she's survived this long on the crap she eats," he replied, shaking his head. Miri smiled at that. "Maybe I'll take her someplace nice and buy her a decent meal."
Clint made for the door, saying his good-byes as he went. Yeah. He'd buy Alex some dinner. After he talked to her about a few things.
~*~*~*~*~
Miri watched Clint go before she turned her attention back to Phil. The small table the hospital had provided was cluttered with files and sheets of paper, a pen, a pencil, a calculator, and a hard bound book without a title. He met her gaze head on, a faint hint of a smile playing at the corners of his mouth. She frowned at him, propping her hands on her hips. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but I was under the impression you are on medical leave. This looks an awful lot like work to me, Phil." She made sure to deepen her frown so that he knew exactly how much she disapproved of this.
He only gave her a mild look in return. But Tony piped up from behind her. "Wow. Is she taking lessons from Pepper? Because that sounds exactly like something Pep would say. That's kind of impressive, Coulson. Is she like this in bed? Do you switch off on who's in charge?"
"Fuck off, Stark," Miri replied, flipping him the bird without even looking at him.
Tony chuckled, something that was as rich as he was, and Miri heard the unmistakable sound of cloth rustling. "Well, that's my cue to leave. Whatever is going to happen here tonight is nothing I want to be part of. Unless you're going to allow me to post video to YouTube?"
"You can leave now, Mr. Stark," Phil told him. "Good evening. To both of you."
"Trouble in paradise!" Tony proclaimed. "Come on, Cap. I'll buy you a drink. Or dinner. Your choice."
"Good evening, Agent Coulson," Steve said in a quiet, chilly voice. Then the door was swishing open and closed, leaving Miri alone with Phil. Without prying eyes to watch over them, Miri took hold of Phil's make shift desk and rolled it away from him. The look he sent her was not pleasant, but that was okay. She wasn't in the mood for pleasant. Once the table was well out of his reach, she took the chair Clint had been sitting in and gave him a look.
"You are not supposed to be working. On anything. Why can't you just take a few days off and relax? You damn well earned them."
"I've been 'relaxing' for almost two months, Miri," Phil replied, going so far as to make finger quotes around the word. She rolled her eyes at him, knowing full well he'd been doing as little relaxing as possible. The nurses gave her daily updates on his condition and his activities. "I think I'm entitled to do some work now."
Miri's frown deepened. "Everyone knows how dedicated you are to the job, Phil. You don't have to prove it to them. Not now. Not when you almost died doing your job. It won't kill you to relax just a little bit. For just a little longer. I won't be able to stop you when you finally go back to work."
Phil sighed. "Miri."
"No, no. Its okay, Phil. You go right ahead and keep working," she sniffed and pushed up from the chair. His eyes were on her as she closed on the bed, then climbed up into it. He scooted over just a bit to give her room, shifting his arm out of the way so she could snuggle up to him. She made sure to brush a breast against his side. She walked one hand across his chest, her fingertips light and quick. "I'd hate to take that from you because, you know, it isn't like I wasn't looking forward to you being at one hundred percent when that cast comes off. It isn't like I have any plans that involve me bent naked over your desk or anything."
He made a soft sound, something like a groan, and his arm curled around her shoulder to tug her closer to him. "You make it hard to concentrate, Miri," he told her.
"That's kind of the point, Phil. If your mind is on just what its going to feel like to sink into me after all this time in the cast, then it isn't on work and you are relaxing. Resting up."
He stared at her for a few moments, using the piercing gaze that he usually reserved for junior agents who had really fucked things up. She wasn't immune to that look and had to fight to control the urge to squirm. It had been a long time since he'd used that expression on her. Then something changed, maybe the air around him or the tension in his shoulders. It was minute and hard to name because it wasn't in his face. But something did change and Phil heaved a sigh that suggested he was not happy with the way things were going. "Very well, Miri. Since you want to me to rest and not work, let's talk."
She hesitated a second. There was some kind of trap there, but she couldn't quite see it yet. "Okay. Talking is good. I can talk. What do you want to talk about?"
"I want you to tell me about the events that took place in Elsa's hospital room," he replied evenly. There was a thread of steel in his voice that said she wasn't going to get away with denying him his answers.
Fine. If that was the way he wanted it... Miri pulled away from him, sitting up so that she could cross her arms over her chest. Even though his expression never changed, she knew he'd taken stock of her extreme displeasure with his line of questioning. "Oh. You mean when I found out her inability to take care of herself and her not reporting vital information she'd discovered to the proper people almost cost you your life? Are those the events you're talking about?"
"Miri." He reached out to put a hand on her arm, but Miri jerked away from his touch and slid to the floor. Rounded on him so that he was sure to see everything she felt about that whole incident. He didn't let his frustration with her show, but it was there. She could tell.
"No, Phil. She knew Loki was planning things. She knew! And she didn't do a fucking thing with the information." Thinking about it now was enough to raise her blood pressure. "You couple that with the fact that Thor left the helicarrier to chase after her and... She's lucky Alex stopped me."
"I can't begin to imagine what you had to have been feeling during that conversation. But trying to choke her out for her actions might have been going a little too far. She didn't intend for any of that to happen, Miri. It isn't her fault."
"Do not defend her to me, Phil. You didn't see what the helicarrier looked like. You weren't the one who was searching the wreckage, hoping you'd find survivors. You weren't the one who was dragging the dead out of there. You weren't..." she trailed off and snapped her mouth shut. She wasn't about to finish that sentence. She didn't dare. She didn't want to see Phil like that ever again. Not even in her memories.
Phil sighed, a soft sound filled with sadness and other things. Miri refused to let it touch her. If he broke through the walls now, he'd bring them down with reason and compassion. She wasn't ready to let the anger go. Not fully.
It wasn't that she still actually completely blamed Astrid for what had happened. Rational thinking had slipped past the blind rage and kicked her in the butt. She knew on some level that what Phil was trying to tell her was right, that Astrid hadn't planned for any of those things to happen. Miri had done some reading up on Loki and she knew that the man was without a single redeeming quality, no matter what Thor thought of his brother. Loki was as insane as they came, all wrapped up in his daddy issues and his persecution complex. He didn't need an excuse to hurt people. That was just who he was and he was as unpredictable as they came.
Some of her anger and blame rested on Thor's shoulders. She was still more than certain that the helicarrier would not have gone down if Thor hadn't left his post. If he hadn't thought he needed to go rescue Astrid's ass, things might have gone much differently that night. She couldn't quite not blame them both for that. Maybe she'd been an agent too long, but she had a hard time understanding how anyone could not be capable of fending for themselves, no matter what the situation they were facing. Perhaps if Astrid had shown Thor that she could handle whatever obstacles were thrown in her path, he might have stayed put. Maybe if he'd had more faith in her abilities to get herself out of such a situation, things might have gone differently.
She supposed she could understand Thor's desire to ensure that Astrid was safe. She might have considering doing something similar, had she had the opportunity and ability. But that didn't mean she could just up and leave her post when she'd been given an order. Maybe she'd spent far too long in one form or service or another because she didn't even really consider questioning orders. She didn't know. But she did know that she had a damned hard time forgiving both Astrid and Thor simply because she looked at them and she saw every single face that had been lost in the attacks on the base and on the helicarrier. She knew she shouldn't, that they really weren't the ones to blame.
Loki was the one she should blame, the one she should hate. And she did. She truly did. But Astrid just made a good scapegoat because she was there. Close at hand. Easy to blame. Thor, too. And there was a part of Miri that really did want to fully forgive them. But she couldn't. Not when she looked at a towering stack of files that were going to be filed in that one room with Mitch Stevenson and Alexander Quinn's files. Too many people had died in the fire fight at the base and on the helicarrier. Too many names were familiar to her. Those numbers were hard to forgive when part of her knew that Astrid had had pertinent information that could have saved lives. When Thor could have saved some of them simply by remaining at the helicarrier. Forgiveness was hard to come by when the rage still boiled under her skin.
Add to that Astrid's blatant insistence that Miri and Alex just had to forgive her. Miri didn't want to be made to feel like she was obliged to do anything. She didn't like being made to feel that way. The moment Astrid stopped whining about being forgiven, Miri would consider doing so. For now, the other woman was going to have to live with the fact that Miri was going to continue to hold a grudge. And so was Phil.
"I know it had to be horrific for you, Miri. I know that you saw things you never wanted to ever see in your life. We both lost friends and colleagues in the attacks. Putting all of the blame on Astrid's shoulders is a bit extreme, though. You know she doesn't have the skills and training necessary to take on a villain, much less one with magical abilities like Loki. She was lucky that he didn't hurt her." Phil's voice was soft and steady, lacking in judgement or condemnation. He was letting her know that didn't blame her for her feelings, that he understood her reactions.
Miri frowned at him all the harder, unhappy with the fact that he was trying to lull her into letting go of her anger. "We have no proof that Loki would have hurt her. He obviously took her as a way to draw Thor away from the fight. And it worked. He found out that Loki had her and left you guys in the lurch. You could have died, Phil. Why don't you understand that part? You could have been killed in the crash. What would have happened to me then?"
Phil sighed and held a hand out to her, his eyes softening as his face took on a look of gentle persuasion. Miri shook her head, but she moved back toward the bed, climbed in and let him pull her against him. His hand stroked down her arm in a motion that was light as air and so terribly tender. So very unlike the man most people thought him to be. He leaned in and pressed a kiss to her forehead before giving her a serious look. "You would have gone on, Miri. You're a survivor and you would have kept going."
"Possibly, Phil. But nothing would have been the same. Life would have taken on a very different meaning for me." She shook her head again, her thoughts churning, constantly circling back to that night. "It wouldn't have been the same. And it would have been hell."
"You'd have had Alex to help hold you up," he replied softly.
"I don't know about that, Phil. Do you really think Alex could have survived losing Clint? You saw what happened to her after Stevenson was killed. She's head over heels in love with Clint. If he'd died..." her voice trailed off as she recalled the woman she'd seen in the church that one day, the one who had been wearing her best friend's face. "You might not think that we have just reasons to still be upset with Astrid, but we do. We are. We're not ready to forgive her yet. We're not ready to forgive Thor yet."
"You can't blame them forever," he admonished.
"Watch me," she retorted.
Phil fell silent then, his hand continuing to almost absently stroke her arm up and down. She knew he was thinking about something, that his thoughts were whirling and spiraling away in his head. It was something he would confront her about, would ask questions about. He was simply trying to find the right words, the best way to phrase it so that she wouldn't feel inclined to slip any further into bitch mode. But if he had to think about it this much, chances were good it was going to see her careening around the corner into Bitch City so fast that there'd be no time for head spinning.
She should get up and walk out the door, but that wouldn't solve anything. Phil would become more determined and would certainly corner her about whatever topic he wanted to discuss the next time she walked into his room. Anything he was that determined to talk about wouldn't be anything she wanted to even discuss. But leaving before he could broach the subject was juvenile and it would hurt him. She'd like to think that she was more mature than that. So she stayed put. Waited for him to speak. Hoped that it wouldn't leave her utterly wrecked and upset.
"During the impromptu meeting with the others, something Captain Rogers said led me to believe that something happened between the two of you on the mission to clean out the HYDRA nest. How about we discuss that instead of Thor and Astrid?" His tone was deceptively mild, which told her that he wasn't going to be steered away from the discussion by anything. At all.
Fine. She huffed out a breath and pulled away from him again. Having his hand on her arm, teasing sensation along her nerves, was more than she could handle. And he'd use it as a means to extract every last bit of information from her that he could. Phil was a master at torture, even when it didn't look or taste or feel like torture. "When Fury handed gave us the mission to take out the HYDRA nest, he named me as mission head. I was in command. I was the one giving orders. Captain Rogers didn't care for the manner in which I conducted the mission."
"What was the mission, exactly?" Phil questioned. If he was upset or hurt by her pulling away, it wasn't visible on his face and she couldn't hear it in his voice. He sat in the bed, arms crossed over his chest as if he was back at headquarters, conducting an interview.
"Fury wanted the HYDRA base cleaned out. Natasha interrogated a few of the survivors and got a location somewhere in upstate New York. Fury sent Alex and I in. Thor and Rogers were sent along as back up, plus there were two tactical teams with us. Our orders were to sweep the nest and empty it."
Phil was silent for a moment. "By any means necessary." It was a statement, not a question. Miri didn't answer. His lips thinned. Just a bit. "He sent you two in to exact revenge."
"We split into two teams. Alex took Thor and half one of the tactical teams. I got Rogers and the other. Rogers was displeased with my command."
Her statement brought a lifted eyebrow from Phil. "How was he displeased? What did you do?"
"He didn't care for my orders. I let him know that I didn't give a shit what he thought and that he'd better not ever question my authority again." She couldn't quite help the sharp, bitter tone that edged her words.
"How?" he asked quietly. She merely looked at him from across the room, her arms crossed over her chest in a pose that mirrored his own. When a few minutes had passed and she hadn't answered him, he sighed and gave her a look, one eyebrow lifting. "Miriam. Don't make me ask you again. What did you do to Captain Rogers?"
Crap. He was using her full first name. That meant he wasn't happy. Not at all. Fine. Better to have it all out in the open now rather than get ambushed by it later. "He tried to get in my way. I put a gun to his head and told him to never, ever question my authority again."
Phil's eyes nearly bugged out of his head as he tried to digest what she'd just told him. "You... put a gun. To Captain America's head? You put... a gun. To his head?"
Miri stared at him. Phil was sputtering. She'd never, ever heard him sputter before. The man was the very definition of cool as a cucumber. Nothing ever threw him off his game. Nothing. She shook her head in disbelief. "I could tell you I'm going to come into your office, naked, slip under your desk and suck your cock until you scream my name and you wouldn't even blink. I tell you Captain America questioned my orders and I pulled my sidearm and you sputter?"
"He's Captain America!" Phil replied, as if that should explain everything. She rolled her eyes at him.
"I know he's your idol, Phil, but he's just a guy. Just a normal guy who was told to follow my orders. And he pissed me off. If he was to question my orders on another mission, I'd do the same thing again," she told him softly. He looked like he wanted to argue with her so she added a little more for him to think about. "He may put on that red, white, and blue uniform for missions, but that doesn't mean he is excluded from the chain of command, Phil. It was my command. Not his. My orders."
"I know it was your command, Miri. But don't you think that perhaps the events leading up to that particular mission clouded your judgement? Just a little?" he asked her, his tone reasonable and mild. "Would you really do the same thing on any other mission? Would you really put a gun to his head because he didn't like an order you gave him?"
Damn it, she hated it when he used logic on her. Miri made sure to throw a pout his way before addressing his comments. "I may have overreacted." She paused for a moment. "A little."
"Miri," he began, lifting one hand toward her, a silent request that she come back to his side. She shook her head, gave him a glare that told him it wouldn't work. He sighed, a soft sigh that was still terribly loud in the room. Nothing in his face had changed and yet, everything had changed. He was actually pleading with her, in as much as Phil ever did anything like pleading. "Miri. Please?"
She couldn't resist. Slowly, so slowly, she relaxed her posture and made her way back over to his bed. Her hand slid into his and he tugged her toward him. Miri climbed up into the bed and settled in next to him. His arm slid around her and held her close. He said nothing, simply held her. But she knew that all was forgiven. She sighed and leaned more of her weight into him, content, because there was no where else she wanted to be.
~*~*~*~*~
Clint was waiting for her on the mats. Coming to S.H.I.E.L.D. and sparring had been his idea. He wanted to ask questions that he was sure she wouldn't answer so he'd decided that sparring was the solution. If he won the fight, he could ask his questions and she had to answer. If she won, he'd never be able to ask her anything about what ever it was. Ever. She'd agreed because it was, at least, a fair deal. Of course, this was assuming she could ever actually beat him in a sparring match. He had height and weight on her. And skills. She had a nasty temper and problems with control. Oh, yeah. It was a fair deal. All she had to do was hold on to her temper and overpower him. No fucking problem.
He was in a pair of shorts and an a-line tank top. He'd put on sparring gloves and a pair of trainers. She took a few seconds to stretch, loosening the muscles in her arms and legs, before giving a nod of her head to let him know she was good to go. He'd watched her the whole time, shot an anticipatory and predatory look her way. She took up a ready position and waited.
He didn't disappoint. In no time at all, he advanced his position and took the first swing. She blocked it, the move painfully easy and basic, letting her know that he was going to give her a few minutes to get comfortable, then he was coming at her with everything he had. She just smiled and thought to herself, Bring it on, lover.
Some ten minutes later, she was face down on the mats with Clint's weight pressing hard on her back. He had one arm caught between her body and his leg. The other was free but useless despite the fact that she'd pinched him as hard as possible and it hadn't moved him. He'd well and truly kicked her ass. She was tired, sweaty, sticky, sore, and she just wanted to go home. Which meant she was stuck here until she answered whatever questions he had to ask her. She glared up at him from the corner of her eye, hating the smirk that had curled up the corners of his mouth. "Fine. You won. Don't gloat. Just get on to the fucking questions. Then I'm catching a cab back to my apartment. Alone."
"Aw, come on now, Lexi. Don't be like that. I beat you fair and square, babe." He was smart enough to keep the smugness from his tone. She pinched at his thigh to let him know she wasn't in the mood for anything, prompting him to sigh. He took hold of the arm and twisted it back and up, until she felt muscles pull tight and scream in agony. "Tell me about Elsa's hospital room," he said, voice all business.
"I'm sorry? Tell you about what?" she grunted. There was a brief notion of struggling against his hold. But she ignored it, knowing doing so would only earn her torn ligaments and muscle strain in her shoulder. "That isn't even a question. You said you were going to ask questions."
"Don't try playing coy, Lexi. Tell me what happened that night in Elsa's hospital room." There was quiet, almost deadly intent in his words.
Fuck. This was not something she wanted to discuss. Not because she was embarrassed by anything that had happened that night, but because there were some things that were just too damned personal to share. "Not my story to tell," she told him. Clint muttered under his breath and applied just a little more pressure to her arm. Alex fought back the urge to both hiss and wince with pain.
"Don't play games with me, Alex. There are events that have occurred that you have not told me about. Since they involve me in some way, I think its only fair you share them. Answer me and I'll let you go."
"You've obviously heard what happened. Why do I need to say anything more?"
"Now, Alex. The longer you take, the longer you have to sit like this. I know this can't be comfortable for your shoulder."
"Fuck you," she spat. But the tension ran out of her and she sank into the mats. It eased some of the pain on her shoulder. It did nothing for the pain in her heart. "Miri and I had just fought to keep HYDRA from overtaking the base. We'd stumbled through more blood and bodies there than we'd ever wanted to see. Then we got the distress call from the helicarrier. Coulson's voice. And we knew it was going down. You and he were on it and... Miri and I volunteered to go into the wreck. Find people. Bring them out. I don't think Fury would have sent us in after the fight on base, but there was no one else to go in."
Alex stopped and swallowed, the sound loud in the vast silence of the gym. The memories were threatening to eat away at her sanity. They'd done it once and look at what had happened. Clint must have understood her distress because he spoke to her softly, nonsensical things that helped ease back some of the lingering fear. "And we found you two in that mess. Miri found Coulson and he was nearly dead. I found you. You were bleeding and... Maybe things in Elsa's hospital room got out of hand, but it was no less than Astrid deserved."
"That isn't fair to her, Alex."
Alex snorted. "She knew about Loki and she never told anyone. So many people could have been spared if we'd known Loki was involved. If Thor had stayed with the helicarrier... You don't get to decide who I'm mad at, Clint. I almost lost you that night. Do you know what that would have done to me? I was already in a really fragile state of mind. And if you had died... Well, I don't think I'd have made it back."
"Lexi," he began, but she used the hand caught between them to pinch him again. He broke off on a hiss. "Damn it, woman. Stop that."
"I'll stop the minute you stop trying to tell me that Astrid and Thor aren't responsible for what happened!" she snapped. She wished he'd lean down and try to talk in her ear so she could smack the back of her skull into his face. But he'd done that once and learned how dangerous it was. He'd never done it again.
"Loki and HYDRA are responsible for what happened, Lexi. Blaming Astrid and Thor is--"
"If Loki hadn't had a hard on for punishing his brother, he would have left Astrid alone. And she wouldn't have drawn Thor away from the helicarrier. It wouldn't have crashed. People I love and care for wouldn't have nearly been killed."
"Lexi, baby. You can't blame Thor for going after the woman he loves."
"Would you have left your post? Would you have disobeyed orders if I had been the one in danger?" she asked him, voice soft to keep herself from choking on her words. To his credit, he didn't answer right away. He actually thought about it. "I have every right to blame him for that. I have every right to blame them both. I'd lost you once. Never again, Clint."
"Aren't you supposed to forgive people for their mistakes? Not lay blame? Isn't that what you learned in church?"
"I stopped believing in God a long time ago, Clint. And I can't forgive. Not yet. Astrid's lucky I stopped Miri. I could have walked out of that room and never looked back." She gave a slight shake of her head, spilling a few sweaty strands of hair across her eye so that she didn't have to look up into his face and see his disappointment. "Don't tell me that you wouldn't have done the same thing if Thor had gotten me injured or killed?"
Clint sighed, but he said nothing further. At least nothing on that subject. He switched gears quickly enough. "Tell me why Steve seemed unhappy when Coulson thanked him for watching Miri's back when you flushed out the HYDRA nest."
"Because Captain America didn't like that Miri and I shot a kid when he pulled a knife on her. Apparently, surrendering was more important. Never mind he surrendered before he tried to stab her. He wouldn't have had the chance if Rogers hadn't tried to talk Miri out of shooting him in the first place."
"You slaughtered everyone in a HYDRA uniform." There was no question, no condemnation, no surprise in his words. Just cold, hard fact. Alex nodded.
"They deserved it," she whispered. His free hand reached up to brush her hair from her face. He said nothing but she could see the understanding on his face. "I guess Rogers didn't like it when Miri put her Glock to his head."
Clint only stared at her for a few moments. She could read the confusion and the shock on his face. It seemed to take him forever to find his voice. "... Miri put a gun to Captain America's head? And you let her?"
"I was a little too busy to stop her, what with having the muzzle of my Glock trained on Thor and all," she explained. His hold on her went lax, allowing her to pull her arm from his hold and straighten it out. Alex took a chance and tried to throw him off of her. She wasn't sure if she'd surprised him or if he let her do it, but he went tipping to one side. She made to get up, but her victory was short lived. In seconds, Clint had her pinned to the mats on her back, his fingers wrapped around her wrists while his thighs clamped her legs together to keep her from trying to kick him off. "Let me go, Barton. You had the answers you wanted. I'm ready to go home and go to bed. By myself."
The look he sent her just then lacked any kind of surprise. In fact, it was filled with that same predatory hunger she'd seen earlier. Despite being pissed at him and his methods, she couldn't help the thrill of need that wound through her. "You don't want to go home by yourself. Not really."
"Clint, so help me, if you don't let me up--"
Anything she might have threatened him with was lost the moment his mouth covered hers. The kiss was all heat and fire and passion and Alex found herself melting into him.
She'd be mad at him for using sex to rid her of her temper. Later. When she was done letting him do whatever he wanted to her.
~*~
Chapter Twenty Seven: Confrontation
Fandom: something like the Marvel Universe, leaning mostly toward the Movie!Avengers branch
Rating: 18 and up
Warnings: lots of sex and violence, language, anything else i can toss in. probably some drinking.
Disclaimer: the recognizable characters and places contained herein are the property of Marvel and whoever the hell else owns them.. i'm merely borrowing for the sake of entertainment. no money is being made from this venture. the Sues are the sole property of their originators,
dazzledfirestar, mistress_o_muse, ginevrasm, rylan_m, and ladydeathfaerie. the concept and title of The Mary Sue Virus are used with permission from Dazzledfirestar.The Mary Sue Virus: Lights, Camera, Avengers! - The Index
~*~
Phoebe watched as the door to the diner swung open and allowed the last two members of their party to enter. Miri and Alex were deep in conversation with one another, walking toward the table unerringly by instinct or a homing device or some other thing. Phoebe supposed it came from both their training as S.H.I.E.L.D. agents and the many times they'd been there before. The five of them always took the same table when they visited. And Alex and Miri were trained to be aware of their surroundings at all times, in the event of hidden threats. Still, it was kind of unnerving to watch the two of them make their way toward the table without ever once actually looking at the table.
In fact, they didn't look up until they'd finally taken their seats, both sliding into the booth almost as if it was something they did in their sleep every single night. The waitress showed up and took their drink orders as she put a menu before each one of them. Neither one opened their menus, instead rattled off their orders to the woman before she could wander away to get their drinks. Only when the waitress was gone did the two of them bother to actually glance up at the rest of the table. And it was plain to see that neither one of them really wanted to be there.
Damn. This was not going to go easy.
Phoebe let her gaze slide away from Alex and Miri to Elsa, who had already grasped the seriousness of the situation. She wasn't exactly frowning, but she wasn't smiling, either. Astrid, having arrived first, sat in the middle of everyone. Her hands were moving absently over some small piece of technology, but it looked to be a more comforting gesture than anything else. Her eyes were carefully monitoring everything the new arrivals did. Given what had happened the last time they'd all been together, Phoebe didn't think she could really blame the woman.
In the weeks following their meeting in Elsa's hospital room and the events that had occurred there, the five of them had mostly avoided spending time with one another. Phoebe knew that Miri and Alex had both been busy with trying to rebuild S.H.I.E.L.D. after HYDRA had nearly obliterated them. Between the deaths of agents at the base and those on the helicarrier, HYDRA had thinned S.H.I.E.L.D.'s ranks by more than half. Add into that the number of people that had been injured and the agency was operating on the bare minimum. And all of the remaining agents were working overtime in order to bring S.H.I.E.L.D. back to full operations.
Fury had kept her busy looking through top secret files ever since installing the promised computer systems above her book shop. For candidates. Of course she was doing so without the direct knowledge of the persons, and agencies or institutions they were connected to, involved. One of the duties Fury had given her. Naturally he'd provided her with a set of parameters and she was supposed to find individuals who met them. It was a screening process, to narrow down the prospective pool. She would turn her findings over to him and he would do the actual recruiting. It meant for long hours and she was glad that she had the aid of some of his more junior agents to help her around the store.
Even Tony had been spending far more time than he'd been comfortable with at S.H.I.E.L.D.'s temporary headquarters, holed up in meetings about tech and various other items that the agency would need. There had been more times than she liked when she'd had to force him to put something aside so he could eat. And sleep. She really had no idea what Elsa and Astrid had been doing since the attacks, but based on the circles under their eyes, they'd been just as busy as everyone else.
In short, people were stressed. Which did not bode well for the way this get together was going to go.
Alex slumped in her seat and crossed her arms over her chest. Miri let her gaze slide around the table, her expression suggesting she was not happy to see Astrid there. Finally, she brought her gaze back to where Phoebe sat and frowned. Intensely. "Explain this. Now." Her tone was terse and brooked no arguing.
Phoebe sighed and opened her mouth to begin, then had to wait as the waitress approached with the drinks the late arrivals had ordered. As well as the towering stack of onion rings Alex was going to snack on before she got her lunch. It was nice to know some things never changed. "You ladies need anything else?" the waitress asked, eyes roving the table slowly. If she noticed the tension that stretched painfully tight between them all, she said nothing. When it became apparent no one was going to say anything, Phoebe tossed her a grim smile and shook her head.
"I think we're good until the food arrives."
Their waitress nodded, then turned and walked off. Silence fell between them again as Phoebe searched for the right words.
"I asked Phoebe to call you." Astrid's voice was clear, if a little timid. Miri's gaze snapped her way, the disapproval that shone in her eyes and tightened her mouth rising by the second. Phoebe noted that Alex seemed indifferent to the situation, but there was a tightness at the corners of her eyes and mouth that belied her relaxed posture. She was as unhappy as Miri was. "I knew if I did, you'd never say yes. So don't get mad at her. She didn't do anything but agree to my plans."
"I see." Those two words were so icy, Phoebe wouldn't have been surprised to see icicles hanging in the air between Miri and Astrid.
"We need to talk this out, Miri. We can't keep going the way we are," Astrid persisted, though she was rapidly losing courage in the face of the other woman's temper.
"What is there to talk out, Astrid? You knew that Loki had made plans with HYDRA. You failed to report it to us before the attacks. Then, because Loki took you hostage, Thor left his post to save you. And people died." Miri replied curtly.
Alex looked up. There was nothing on her face to give away what she felt. "Coulson almost died. Clint almost died. Elsa could have died. People we care about could have died. There is nothing you can say that will make that all better."
"Don't you two think you're being a little unreasonable?" Elsa asked softly. Two sets of eyes, one set blank and the other set filled with simmering anger, turned her way. To Elsa's credit, she didn't wilt under their harsh stares. "There was no way Astrid could have foreseen everything that happened."
"You didn't see the mess HYDRA made of the base. You didn't see the twisted heap of junk that the helicarrier became," Alex pointed out reasonably politely. But there was a distinct lack of warmth to her voice that said everything she wasn't. "Miri and I waded through rubble and debris and blood and bodies while searching for survivors. You didn't see what that hell did to people. We had to drag friends and colleagues and lovers out of that shit because we were unprepared for HYDRA's attack. We lost friends and colleagues. We had to bury friends and colleagues."
Phoebe remained quiet, but she thought she understood what Alex hadn't said. No one had really seen what the wreck of the helicarrier had done to her. And to Miri. They'd both been trained to keep things to themselves, to push their emotions aside in the face of duty. But Phoebe had seen the reports from medical. And the standard psych evals that those who had survived had been ordered to undergo. The real toll of the disaster could be found in the things that no one was saying.
Months later, Miri and Alex were still caught up in that hell. It would take them a very long time to get over it.
"Maybe I could have done something to help save all those people. Maybe I couldn't have. We'll never know. Because all of that happened in the past and we can't change it. We can only move forward," Astrid pointed out quietly. There was strength in her voice this time, the quiet kind that said nothing anyone could do or say to her would be able to take that strength away. "And that won't happen if you two don't forgive me for this."
The waitress chose that moment to return with food, so everyone fell silent and faked their smiles as she handed the plates around the table. Upon ensuring that all was well, she wandered off and left them to their own devices. By silent agreement, they spent a few minutes starting on their lunches before anyone took up the topic of discussion again.
Phoebe watched as Miri and Alex focused all of their attention on their meals. Alex had finished off her onion rings before the meal had arrived and was already halfway through her bacon cheeseburger. Phoebe had to wonder if Alex ever ate and, if she did, what it was. Because it seemed like she was always hungry. There was a joyful abandon in the way the woman attacked her food. Where she put it all, Phoebe didn't know. Nor did she know how Alex kept herself in shape after eating like that. She didn't think she wanted to know.
Beside her, Miri ate with a concentrated effort that precluded the need to look at anyone. Her actions were tense and tight, as if she was expecting an attack at any moment. Phoebe held back a sigh and wondered how they were going to fix this. That faint and distant part of her that remembered being Rylan realized that this problem needed to be resolved in some way. That was part of why they were here, wasn't it? To solve this problem? What happened if they didn't? Would they never go home?
The silence squeezed closer around them, heavy and thick and uncomfortable. Phoebe was sure that it wouldn't last. Something had to give, had to break apart because the tension was so oppressive. It wouldn't take much. Just one wrong move or word and the illusion of calm would be shattered. She wondered just how much it would take to set the ticking time bomb of their emotions off.
Somehow, they made it through their lunch without any more major upsets. The waitress came and cleared away the mess of empty plates and partially drained glasses, left them each with a slip of green paper from an old fashioned order pad with the amount each of them owed scribbled on it. There was a smile face on Phoebe's, right next to the woman's cheerfully scrawled 'Thank you! Come again!' Thinking they were well past the danger of argument, Phoebe began digging for the money to pay for her lunch.
"I can't believe you're going to keep holding this against me!" Astrid snapped waspishly, her tone suggesting that whatever more pleasant emotions she'd arrived with were long gone. Phoebe thought she sounded like she was out for blood. And having seen footage of Alex and Miri in the middle of a fire fight, in the middle of a hand to hand brawl, in the middle of so much shit that most people would have curled up in a ball and whimpered, she couldn't help but thinking that Astrid was in serious trouble.
Miri and Alex looked up at her. It surprised Phoebe that Miri was the one seething with anger while Alex gave the appearance of being calm and collected. Every last bit of information she had on the two, gathered through simply spending time with them and sneaking peaks into their files, had said that Miri was the calm one and Alex was the one quick to rile. Seeing them behave in the exact opposite manner was odd. Alex was the one who answered, her voice far too soft and far too calm. "I'm sorry. I wasn't aware that I had to give up a good grudge when I'm all comfortable with it. Especially when it involves people I love nearly getting killed. I can hold on to a fucking grudge for fucking ever in that case, Astrid."
"There is nothing you can do or say that will make Alex and I think any differently about this. We don't have to forgive you for anything, Astrid. The truth is, you got a lot of people killed. And people we care about were almost among them. We don't owe you shit."
Astrid stared at them, momentarily at a loss for words. Her eyes darkened. Phoebe could see that she'd latched onto some new piece of logic. Astrid didn't disappoint. "You'd have done the same thing had Phil been the one in trouble. Or Clint."
"No. I wouldn't have." Miri slid out of the booth and got to her feet. She turned her gaze Alex's way. "Come on. Let's get back to work. We've wasted enough time here." Alex nodded and laid down some cash to cover her meal, then followed after Miri. The two of them had barely taken a step before Astrid's words brought them to a halt.
"Oh, I call bullshit! You would have and you know it!" The few patrons in the place turned to eye their table with mild interest. Alex and Miri turned to face them again. This time, Miri wasn't just pissed. She was incensed and her eyes were so dark, they were almost black. She took that one step back and put her hands on the table's edge, leaning down until she could stare Astrid in the eye.
"You're wrong, Astrid. I would never have needed to leave my post because Phil can take care of himself. He'd never end up in trouble. Neither would Clint." Miri paused, leaned closer. "And it doesn't matter how I feel about Phil or how Alex feels about Clint. It doesn't matter that we'd want to go after them if something happens to them. Our personal feelings cannot get in the way. One person, no matter how much we care about them, is not worth all of those lives."
Astrid stared after them, face slack and filled with disbelief, as Miri and Alex walked out of the diner. Neither one of them looked back.
~*~*~*~*~
Clint watched as Coulson set some paperwork aside and frowned at the faces surrounding him. Cap was leaning against the far wall, idly dragging pencil tip over paper in what he assumed were the gentle, broad strokes of an artist committing an image to permanence by drawing it. Thor stood in the corner, massive arms crossed over his chest as he stared absently into the room without really seeing anything. Stark had just come into the room not more than two seconds ago, naturally the last one to arrive and completely unconcerned about anything. There was some gadget or another in his hands and he was paying it more attention than the room at large.
Coulson cleared his throat, not very loudly, and brought every eye in the room his way. He planted his hands in the mattress and pulled himself up just a little bit, so he sat a touch straighter, and let his gaze slide around the room until it came to rest on Thor. "Is there some reason that we couldn't have held this meeting off for another few days? I'm due to be released soon and it would have been much more comfortable to do this in my office. Or anywhere else, really. Was it necessary to do this here? In my hospital room?"
Thor managed a look of chagrin, the expression somehow childlike and adult all at the same time. When he didn't speak right away, Coulson shot him a questioning look. It came complete with a raised eye brow that demanded he say something. The blonde seemed to be struggling for something to say or, rather, the right thing to say. Finally, after several long seconds of nothing, he drew a deep breath and just came out with it. "I wish to apologize to you all for my actions upon the helicarrier that day. Many lives were lost and many people were hurt as a result of the choice I made."
"Then why make the choice? Why would you leave in the middle of a battle when you knew people needed you and counted on you?" The question came from Rogers and it drew Thor's attention toward the good Captain.
"My brother had taken Astrid captive," Thor explained. As if that explained everything. Maybe it did. The room slid into silence as they contemplated that. Clint was fairly certain he knew what everyone in the room was thinking. He knew he was thinking the same thing. What would he have done if Loki had taken Alex?
For a moment, visions of horrible things crept through his mind and left him cold as ice. If Loki had kidnapped Alex and Clint's position had been switched with Thor's, would he have done anything differently? He'd like to think that he'd have done followed orders and done his duty because he knew that Alex could take care of herself. She was a highly trained S.H.I.E.L.D. agent and she had mad skills in various forms of self-defense. She could have held her own against Loki for a while. Maybe. The man did have magic at his fingertips and there's no telling what he'd have done with that. Alex had a tendency for flippant remarks and tons of sarcasm. Everything Clint knew about Thor's brother suggested he wouldn't take kindly to such things. There was no telling what kinds of things Loki could have imagined to do to Alex in such a situation.
He wasn't sure if he'd have left his post to save Alex. He'd like to think that he'd keep his priorities straight, but love did funny things to people's minds. It was entirely possible that his emotions would have gotten the better of him. He was only human and he had human desires. There was always a voice, soft and quiet and insistent, at the back of his head that said he needed to protect Alex, to keep her safe. Clint snuck a quick look around the room and decided that, based on the faces he was seeing, the others were likely thinking along the same lines.
The fact of the matter, though, was that even had he wanted to go after Alex, he'd have had no means of doing so. And he wouldn't have known where to start. Not to mention there was the fact that HYDRA was bent on bringing down the helicarrier and destroying people in the process. And, much as Clint loved Alex, he knew that she'd never forgive him if he let hundreds or even thousands of people die in order to save her life. He respected her far more than that.
"And the helicarrier had already been compromised," Coulson pointed out quietly. His words pulled Clint away from his thoughts and allowed him to give his attention to the room at large once more. Everyone was intent on Thor, trying to read the emotion on his face. It looked a lot like stubbornness to Clint. He'd seen that look on Alex's face quite a bit. "Had I not managed to make it to the bridge, I have no doubt that the carrier would have gone down in the middle of Midtown. Thousands of people would have been killed."
Coulson paused to allow Thor a chance to speak, but the big blonde obviously had nothing to say to that because he remained silent. Coulson's sigh was long and loud at that. "I seem to recall giving you a direct order, Thor. An order you decided to disobey. As a result of your choice, hundreds of S.H.I.E.L.D. personnel were killed or injured. Including Barton and myself."
There was an underlying tone of chastisement in Coulson's perfectly calm, perfectly polite voice. Coulson was good at sounding like that. Clint knew he'd had lots of practice over the years. He kept his gaze locked on Thor, waiting for an answer. They all did.
"It was never my intention to see any of you harmed in any way. But I could not leave Astrid in my brother's hands. Loki is mad and would stop at nothing to hurt me. In any way he could," Thor replied. There was a touch of anger in his voice, as if he didn't quite understand why everyone was upset, why they couldn't understand his position.
"Maybe before you came to Earth, you could go off alone at a moment's notice, Thor. But you're part of a team now. You're part of the Avengers. That means that you have to think about your teammates. You need to be aware of them. The way you were aware of your friends in New Mexico. You put yourself between them and Destroyer, Thor. You sacrificed yourself for your friends. You had no powers and yet you put yourself in harm's way," Coulson pointed out. Clint remembered those events. He'd been there. He'd seen the destruction left behind after Thor had finished off Destroyer.
"You do not know my brother as I do," Thor began. Coulson held up one hand and brought the God to silence.
"Everyone here had someone they cared about in the middle of the mess that your brother helped create. Miriam, Alex, and Phoebe were all left to fight off the HYDRA agents that stormed the base. They might have been capable of dealing with the situation, but that doesn't mean that Barton, Mr. Stark, or myself wouldn't have worried over them. Elsa was on the helicarrier. I don't recall Captain Rogers ignoring his orders in favor of ensuring that Dr. Jones was safe."
Not that Coulson had given Rogers very explicit orders. But still, what he'd seen in reports and the little he'd gotten from Alex told Clint that Rogers had used his shield with deadly force. "I had to protect Astrid from Loki," Thor insisted. It was beginning to sound like a broken record.
"Dude, don't you have any faith in her at all?" Clint asked.
Thor looked at him as if Clint had lost his mind and had asked him to skin cats with Mjolnir. "I have faith that my brother would do horrible things if given the chance."
"We all had loved ones caught in the middle of your brother's mechinations. We all would have had enough faith in them to hang in there until we could get to them. There were bigger problems to solve, bigger problems that took precedence over anything else we might have wanted to do. We were obligated to handle those problems first. You were obligated to handle those problems first."
Stark, who had put away his gadget or whatever it was, turned a wide-eyed stare Thor's way. "Wait a minute. Are you going to stand there and tell us that the needs of the one are far more important than the needs of the many? That isn't part of the deal in Asgard? Every man for himself and all that crap? Dude, that's it. You and I are going to sit down and watch Star Trek together. You've still got some things to learn."
"Star Trek?" Thor echoed. Clint bit back the smirk that wanted to come at the look of confusion on the big guy's face. He shouldn't have found it so easy to forget that Thor's knowledge of Earth culture was still fairly limited, but he often times did. And it was amusing as hell to see Thor try to puzzle things out without actually being forced to ask for answers.
"Its a movie," Stark replied. His attention was focused on his phone, thumbs flying as he typed something on the screen. "Hell, we'll schedule a marathon. Take a night to watch movies and bond and all of that crap we're supposed to be doing as a team. Right? Who doesn't like a movie night? I've got an home theater with surround sound and captain's chairs. We can make use of that."
Clint was not surprised.
"I'll ask Phoebe to go out for a night. She can ask the other girls to go with her so it can be a bro thing," Stark added, still staring at the screen. A bro thing? Clint blinked at that. When the hell had Stark picked up the word bro? Where had he even heard it? It wasn't the kind of language Clint expected to be used in Stark's circle of acquaintances.
"That might be asking too much, Stark," Steve told him. His words brought the man's eyes up so that he was looking at the good captain questioningly.
"How is that asking too much? They can go out and get a spa treatment or have dinner and talk about how horrible their boyfriends are or whatever it is women do when they have a girl's night out."
"It would be kind of difficult for them to talk about how horrible their boyfriends are when, to my knowledge, Miri and Alex are still not speaking to Astrid," Rogers replied quietly. Tony's eyes stayed locked on their team leader, his expression shifting from annoyance to confusion. Apparently he was unaware of the problems going on in that arena. To be honest, Clint didn't really know what the hell was going on, either
"They're... not talking to Astrid?" Silence fell for a few moments. Obviously Stark's huge brain was trying to turn that bit of information over. Clint had seen the look he wore before, his eyes gone distant and empty while he just thought and considered. In a matter of seconds, he blinked and it was plain to see that the knowledge was just right there. "Does this have anything to do with what happened in Elsa's hospital room?"
Coulson shot a glance toward Clint, one that plainly asked if he knew what the hell Stark was talking about. Clint shook his head, just as confused by this turn of events as the other man. "I believe so. I know that Elsa was going to meet up with Phoebe and Astrid and try to come up with some way of solving this problem." The look on Rogers' face suggested he didn't think it would happen.
"Just what did happen in Elsa's hospital room?" Coulson asked, using his politest, and therefore most authoritative, tone with Captain America.
"There was some kind of argument," Steve admitted. He was holding something back. Clint was sure of it. And if the look Coulson wore was anything to go by, he was sure of the same thing. What the hell had happened in Elsa's hospital room? The last Clint had known, Alex was pretty tight with Astrid. They'd gone to lunch together numerous times and acted like they were long lost sisters, not merely friends who had only met a few months ago.
Rogers' words brought a snort from Stark's throat and the sound drew every eye in the room his way. "Argument? Is that what you're going to call it, Cap? Because based on what I heard, you're seriously understating the events of that day."
"What did you hear, Stark?" Coulson asked, again in that same quiet voice that meant he wasn't going to take no for an answer. Truth be told, Clint also wanted to know what the hell he was talking about. In the aftermath of everything that had happened, between Alex's involuntary vacation and the rebuilding of S.H.I.E.L.D. and Clint's injury and recovery, there hadn't been much time to ask after her friends. And she hadn't volunteered any information. Maybe he should have asked.
"Phoebe was telling me that there was a big altercation in Elsa's room right after the helicarrier crashed, after we managed to pull you two out of there," Tony told them, his hand making a motion to loosely indicate both Clint and Coulson. Out of the corner of his eye, Clint saw Thor shift where he stood, just a slight movement that suggested he was nervous. Rogers, on the other hand, went stiff through the shoulders, his expression cold and closed off. Curious.
"And why were they in Elsa's hospital room that night?" Coulson asked. Clint knew that the night in question was the night they were sent to clean HYDRA out of their nest. Tony had mentioned that to him, prompting Clint to access a few computer files in order to read the whole official story. He was more than certain Coulson knew the whole story and then some.
"Astrid called them there. She'd seen the destruction on the news and wanted to be sure everyone was okay." Tony's attention was drawn back to his phone and his fingers once again began flying across the screen. "Thing is, apparently she admitted to everyone that she'd uncovered information about Loki's plans but she'd been unable to get said information to Fury. Add that to Thor leaving his post to rescue her from his insane brother and it was a recipe for disaster. Miri took the news rather poorly and attempted to strangle Astrid. Twice. Both Agents Grant and Quinn lay blame for your injuries at Astrid's feet. They haven't spoken to her since that night."
This was news to Clint. He turned to glance at Coulson and found that the man was deep in thought. He didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing where Miri was concerned. Not that he thought it mattered. Clint was pretty sure he could, at the very least, understand what Alex and Miri must have felt that night. It had been bad enough that they'd been through hell on base, trying to quell HYDRA's assault there. Then Fury had put them in the position of doing a search and rescue in what had remained of the helicarrier. And they'd both had to face some serious fears. It couldn't have been easy for Alex to have found Clint in that closet, bleeding out from a gun shot wound. Not when her emotions had been so raw and she'd been sure he'd hated her. Whatever Alex had felt in those moments and following days, Miri had felt them a thousand times more intensely.
Based on what Tony had told him, he figured it would be a cold day in hell before either of them bothered to find forgiveness for Astrid or Thor.
"Being shunned by her friends is tearing he apart," Thor supplied softly. He looked guilty. And maybe a little lost. And it was obvious that he cared about Astrid, wanted to see her as happy as she could be. "I have tried to find a way to solve this problem, but nothing has worked. I have no idea what I can do to help."
"Given what I've heard here, I don't think there's anything you can do, Thor. Alex and Miri are going to have to find a way to forgive Astrid on their own. In their own time. The same goes for their feelings toward you." Coulson leaned back against his pillows, his face cast in placid lines of emptiness that hid whatever it was he was feeling. Clint was almost positive his mind was turning, trying to find a way to nudge the girls in the direction of forgiveness. Clint wished Coulson luck. He knew better than to try that with Alex. She'd have his balls in the blink of an eye if he did. "But I do want to thank you both for keeping an eye on them while they were sweeping out the HYDRA nest. Its good to know that they had members of the Avengers at their backs."
"Don't thank me," Steve bit out, his tone cold. "I was just there, following orders."
Coulson said nothing about his lack of warmth, simply gave Clint a look that suggested he was going to find out what happened to put the frost into his voice. A glance at Thor showed him a look that was as empty and blank as Thor could ever manage. Oh, yeah. Something had happened there.
"Do you truly believe that Agents Grant and Quinn will find it in themselves to forgive Astrid?" Thor asked, a blatant attempt to turn the attention away from the HYDRA mission.
"I can't speak for Miri, but I know Alex has this thing about holding grudges. She really seems to enjoy it," Clint told him, letting a small smile curl up the corners of his mouth. "I suggest you don't hold your breath waiting for it to happen, big guy. I can't make any promises at all. But what I can tell you is that it has to be Alex's idea. Not yours or Astrid's. Cornering her about it will only make it a thousand times worse."
Thor digested that information for a moment or two before heaving a deep, heavy sigh. Clint noticed Coulson didn't offer any advice on Miri. Either he didn't want to speak for her or he wasn't sure that Miri would ever let things go. Either way, it was a no-win situation for Thor because he was caught in the middle of it. The big guy heaved a sigh and glanced around the room, his gaze sharp when it landed on Coulson and then Clint. "So you are saying there is nothing I can do to help Astrid with this?"
"Dude, have a little faith that she'll be able to figure out how to mend the rift," Clint told him. "Alex can be a bitch, but she isn't heartless. She just needs to let it go in her own time."
Thor turned a curious expression toward Coulson. The man offered a faint smile, the only answer he was going to give the God. Giving a nod that he understood, Thor pushed away from the wall and started for the door. "Thank you all for sparing your time. You've given me much to think on. I can only hope that you speak truly and our ladies find a solution to their problems."
He said nothing more and Clint watched him go, wondering if anything Coulson had said to him about abandoning his position had gotten through to him. Only time would tell. Thor took hold of the latch on the door and pulled. The panel swung wide to reveal Miri standing on the other side of it. She gave the blonde a politely cool look. "Agent Grant," he intoned before stepping aside to allow her entrance into the room. She stepped in past him, said nothing to acknowledge his words to her, and headed toward Coulson's bed. Thor slipped out the door without saying anything more.
Clint took Miri's presence as a sign that the meeting was over and it was time to head out. He pushed out of the chair he'd taken upon arrival and moved to greet her, offering her a hug. "Where's Alex?"
"Down in the waiting room. She was eyeing the vending machines when I left her. I think she's planning on grabbing dinner while she's there," Miri told him. Clint wouldn't at all be surprised.
"I'd better catch her before she picks something disgusting. I don't understand how she's survived this long on the crap she eats," he replied, shaking his head. Miri smiled at that. "Maybe I'll take her someplace nice and buy her a decent meal."
Clint made for the door, saying his good-byes as he went. Yeah. He'd buy Alex some dinner. After he talked to her about a few things.
~*~*~*~*~
Miri watched Clint go before she turned her attention back to Phil. The small table the hospital had provided was cluttered with files and sheets of paper, a pen, a pencil, a calculator, and a hard bound book without a title. He met her gaze head on, a faint hint of a smile playing at the corners of his mouth. She frowned at him, propping her hands on her hips. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but I was under the impression you are on medical leave. This looks an awful lot like work to me, Phil." She made sure to deepen her frown so that he knew exactly how much she disapproved of this.
He only gave her a mild look in return. But Tony piped up from behind her. "Wow. Is she taking lessons from Pepper? Because that sounds exactly like something Pep would say. That's kind of impressive, Coulson. Is she like this in bed? Do you switch off on who's in charge?"
"Fuck off, Stark," Miri replied, flipping him the bird without even looking at him.
Tony chuckled, something that was as rich as he was, and Miri heard the unmistakable sound of cloth rustling. "Well, that's my cue to leave. Whatever is going to happen here tonight is nothing I want to be part of. Unless you're going to allow me to post video to YouTube?"
"You can leave now, Mr. Stark," Phil told him. "Good evening. To both of you."
"Trouble in paradise!" Tony proclaimed. "Come on, Cap. I'll buy you a drink. Or dinner. Your choice."
"Good evening, Agent Coulson," Steve said in a quiet, chilly voice. Then the door was swishing open and closed, leaving Miri alone with Phil. Without prying eyes to watch over them, Miri took hold of Phil's make shift desk and rolled it away from him. The look he sent her was not pleasant, but that was okay. She wasn't in the mood for pleasant. Once the table was well out of his reach, she took the chair Clint had been sitting in and gave him a look.
"You are not supposed to be working. On anything. Why can't you just take a few days off and relax? You damn well earned them."
"I've been 'relaxing' for almost two months, Miri," Phil replied, going so far as to make finger quotes around the word. She rolled her eyes at him, knowing full well he'd been doing as little relaxing as possible. The nurses gave her daily updates on his condition and his activities. "I think I'm entitled to do some work now."
Miri's frown deepened. "Everyone knows how dedicated you are to the job, Phil. You don't have to prove it to them. Not now. Not when you almost died doing your job. It won't kill you to relax just a little bit. For just a little longer. I won't be able to stop you when you finally go back to work."
Phil sighed. "Miri."
"No, no. Its okay, Phil. You go right ahead and keep working," she sniffed and pushed up from the chair. His eyes were on her as she closed on the bed, then climbed up into it. He scooted over just a bit to give her room, shifting his arm out of the way so she could snuggle up to him. She made sure to brush a breast against his side. She walked one hand across his chest, her fingertips light and quick. "I'd hate to take that from you because, you know, it isn't like I wasn't looking forward to you being at one hundred percent when that cast comes off. It isn't like I have any plans that involve me bent naked over your desk or anything."
He made a soft sound, something like a groan, and his arm curled around her shoulder to tug her closer to him. "You make it hard to concentrate, Miri," he told her.
"That's kind of the point, Phil. If your mind is on just what its going to feel like to sink into me after all this time in the cast, then it isn't on work and you are relaxing. Resting up."
He stared at her for a few moments, using the piercing gaze that he usually reserved for junior agents who had really fucked things up. She wasn't immune to that look and had to fight to control the urge to squirm. It had been a long time since he'd used that expression on her. Then something changed, maybe the air around him or the tension in his shoulders. It was minute and hard to name because it wasn't in his face. But something did change and Phil heaved a sigh that suggested he was not happy with the way things were going. "Very well, Miri. Since you want to me to rest and not work, let's talk."
She hesitated a second. There was some kind of trap there, but she couldn't quite see it yet. "Okay. Talking is good. I can talk. What do you want to talk about?"
"I want you to tell me about the events that took place in Elsa's hospital room," he replied evenly. There was a thread of steel in his voice that said she wasn't going to get away with denying him his answers.
Fine. If that was the way he wanted it... Miri pulled away from him, sitting up so that she could cross her arms over her chest. Even though his expression never changed, she knew he'd taken stock of her extreme displeasure with his line of questioning. "Oh. You mean when I found out her inability to take care of herself and her not reporting vital information she'd discovered to the proper people almost cost you your life? Are those the events you're talking about?"
"Miri." He reached out to put a hand on her arm, but Miri jerked away from his touch and slid to the floor. Rounded on him so that he was sure to see everything she felt about that whole incident. He didn't let his frustration with her show, but it was there. She could tell.
"No, Phil. She knew Loki was planning things. She knew! And she didn't do a fucking thing with the information." Thinking about it now was enough to raise her blood pressure. "You couple that with the fact that Thor left the helicarrier to chase after her and... She's lucky Alex stopped me."
"I can't begin to imagine what you had to have been feeling during that conversation. But trying to choke her out for her actions might have been going a little too far. She didn't intend for any of that to happen, Miri. It isn't her fault."
"Do not defend her to me, Phil. You didn't see what the helicarrier looked like. You weren't the one who was searching the wreckage, hoping you'd find survivors. You weren't the one who was dragging the dead out of there. You weren't..." she trailed off and snapped her mouth shut. She wasn't about to finish that sentence. She didn't dare. She didn't want to see Phil like that ever again. Not even in her memories.
Phil sighed, a soft sound filled with sadness and other things. Miri refused to let it touch her. If he broke through the walls now, he'd bring them down with reason and compassion. She wasn't ready to let the anger go. Not fully.
It wasn't that she still actually completely blamed Astrid for what had happened. Rational thinking had slipped past the blind rage and kicked her in the butt. She knew on some level that what Phil was trying to tell her was right, that Astrid hadn't planned for any of those things to happen. Miri had done some reading up on Loki and she knew that the man was without a single redeeming quality, no matter what Thor thought of his brother. Loki was as insane as they came, all wrapped up in his daddy issues and his persecution complex. He didn't need an excuse to hurt people. That was just who he was and he was as unpredictable as they came.
Some of her anger and blame rested on Thor's shoulders. She was still more than certain that the helicarrier would not have gone down if Thor hadn't left his post. If he hadn't thought he needed to go rescue Astrid's ass, things might have gone much differently that night. She couldn't quite not blame them both for that. Maybe she'd been an agent too long, but she had a hard time understanding how anyone could not be capable of fending for themselves, no matter what the situation they were facing. Perhaps if Astrid had shown Thor that she could handle whatever obstacles were thrown in her path, he might have stayed put. Maybe if he'd had more faith in her abilities to get herself out of such a situation, things might have gone differently.
She supposed she could understand Thor's desire to ensure that Astrid was safe. She might have considering doing something similar, had she had the opportunity and ability. But that didn't mean she could just up and leave her post when she'd been given an order. Maybe she'd spent far too long in one form or service or another because she didn't even really consider questioning orders. She didn't know. But she did know that she had a damned hard time forgiving both Astrid and Thor simply because she looked at them and she saw every single face that had been lost in the attacks on the base and on the helicarrier. She knew she shouldn't, that they really weren't the ones to blame.
Loki was the one she should blame, the one she should hate. And she did. She truly did. But Astrid just made a good scapegoat because she was there. Close at hand. Easy to blame. Thor, too. And there was a part of Miri that really did want to fully forgive them. But she couldn't. Not when she looked at a towering stack of files that were going to be filed in that one room with Mitch Stevenson and Alexander Quinn's files. Too many people had died in the fire fight at the base and on the helicarrier. Too many names were familiar to her. Those numbers were hard to forgive when part of her knew that Astrid had had pertinent information that could have saved lives. When Thor could have saved some of them simply by remaining at the helicarrier. Forgiveness was hard to come by when the rage still boiled under her skin.
Add to that Astrid's blatant insistence that Miri and Alex just had to forgive her. Miri didn't want to be made to feel like she was obliged to do anything. She didn't like being made to feel that way. The moment Astrid stopped whining about being forgiven, Miri would consider doing so. For now, the other woman was going to have to live with the fact that Miri was going to continue to hold a grudge. And so was Phil.
"I know it had to be horrific for you, Miri. I know that you saw things you never wanted to ever see in your life. We both lost friends and colleagues in the attacks. Putting all of the blame on Astrid's shoulders is a bit extreme, though. You know she doesn't have the skills and training necessary to take on a villain, much less one with magical abilities like Loki. She was lucky that he didn't hurt her." Phil's voice was soft and steady, lacking in judgement or condemnation. He was letting her know that didn't blame her for her feelings, that he understood her reactions.
Miri frowned at him all the harder, unhappy with the fact that he was trying to lull her into letting go of her anger. "We have no proof that Loki would have hurt her. He obviously took her as a way to draw Thor away from the fight. And it worked. He found out that Loki had her and left you guys in the lurch. You could have died, Phil. Why don't you understand that part? You could have been killed in the crash. What would have happened to me then?"
Phil sighed and held a hand out to her, his eyes softening as his face took on a look of gentle persuasion. Miri shook her head, but she moved back toward the bed, climbed in and let him pull her against him. His hand stroked down her arm in a motion that was light as air and so terribly tender. So very unlike the man most people thought him to be. He leaned in and pressed a kiss to her forehead before giving her a serious look. "You would have gone on, Miri. You're a survivor and you would have kept going."
"Possibly, Phil. But nothing would have been the same. Life would have taken on a very different meaning for me." She shook her head again, her thoughts churning, constantly circling back to that night. "It wouldn't have been the same. And it would have been hell."
"You'd have had Alex to help hold you up," he replied softly.
"I don't know about that, Phil. Do you really think Alex could have survived losing Clint? You saw what happened to her after Stevenson was killed. She's head over heels in love with Clint. If he'd died..." her voice trailed off as she recalled the woman she'd seen in the church that one day, the one who had been wearing her best friend's face. "You might not think that we have just reasons to still be upset with Astrid, but we do. We are. We're not ready to forgive her yet. We're not ready to forgive Thor yet."
"You can't blame them forever," he admonished.
"Watch me," she retorted.
Phil fell silent then, his hand continuing to almost absently stroke her arm up and down. She knew he was thinking about something, that his thoughts were whirling and spiraling away in his head. It was something he would confront her about, would ask questions about. He was simply trying to find the right words, the best way to phrase it so that she wouldn't feel inclined to slip any further into bitch mode. But if he had to think about it this much, chances were good it was going to see her careening around the corner into Bitch City so fast that there'd be no time for head spinning.
She should get up and walk out the door, but that wouldn't solve anything. Phil would become more determined and would certainly corner her about whatever topic he wanted to discuss the next time she walked into his room. Anything he was that determined to talk about wouldn't be anything she wanted to even discuss. But leaving before he could broach the subject was juvenile and it would hurt him. She'd like to think that she was more mature than that. So she stayed put. Waited for him to speak. Hoped that it wouldn't leave her utterly wrecked and upset.
"During the impromptu meeting with the others, something Captain Rogers said led me to believe that something happened between the two of you on the mission to clean out the HYDRA nest. How about we discuss that instead of Thor and Astrid?" His tone was deceptively mild, which told her that he wasn't going to be steered away from the discussion by anything. At all.
Fine. She huffed out a breath and pulled away from him again. Having his hand on her arm, teasing sensation along her nerves, was more than she could handle. And he'd use it as a means to extract every last bit of information from her that he could. Phil was a master at torture, even when it didn't look or taste or feel like torture. "When Fury handed gave us the mission to take out the HYDRA nest, he named me as mission head. I was in command. I was the one giving orders. Captain Rogers didn't care for the manner in which I conducted the mission."
"What was the mission, exactly?" Phil questioned. If he was upset or hurt by her pulling away, it wasn't visible on his face and she couldn't hear it in his voice. He sat in the bed, arms crossed over his chest as if he was back at headquarters, conducting an interview.
"Fury wanted the HYDRA base cleaned out. Natasha interrogated a few of the survivors and got a location somewhere in upstate New York. Fury sent Alex and I in. Thor and Rogers were sent along as back up, plus there were two tactical teams with us. Our orders were to sweep the nest and empty it."
Phil was silent for a moment. "By any means necessary." It was a statement, not a question. Miri didn't answer. His lips thinned. Just a bit. "He sent you two in to exact revenge."
"We split into two teams. Alex took Thor and half one of the tactical teams. I got Rogers and the other. Rogers was displeased with my command."
Her statement brought a lifted eyebrow from Phil. "How was he displeased? What did you do?"
"He didn't care for my orders. I let him know that I didn't give a shit what he thought and that he'd better not ever question my authority again." She couldn't quite help the sharp, bitter tone that edged her words.
"How?" he asked quietly. She merely looked at him from across the room, her arms crossed over her chest in a pose that mirrored his own. When a few minutes had passed and she hadn't answered him, he sighed and gave her a look, one eyebrow lifting. "Miriam. Don't make me ask you again. What did you do to Captain Rogers?"
Crap. He was using her full first name. That meant he wasn't happy. Not at all. Fine. Better to have it all out in the open now rather than get ambushed by it later. "He tried to get in my way. I put a gun to his head and told him to never, ever question my authority again."
Phil's eyes nearly bugged out of his head as he tried to digest what she'd just told him. "You... put a gun. To Captain America's head? You put... a gun. To his head?"
Miri stared at him. Phil was sputtering. She'd never, ever heard him sputter before. The man was the very definition of cool as a cucumber. Nothing ever threw him off his game. Nothing. She shook her head in disbelief. "I could tell you I'm going to come into your office, naked, slip under your desk and suck your cock until you scream my name and you wouldn't even blink. I tell you Captain America questioned my orders and I pulled my sidearm and you sputter?"
"He's Captain America!" Phil replied, as if that should explain everything. She rolled her eyes at him.
"I know he's your idol, Phil, but he's just a guy. Just a normal guy who was told to follow my orders. And he pissed me off. If he was to question my orders on another mission, I'd do the same thing again," she told him softly. He looked like he wanted to argue with her so she added a little more for him to think about. "He may put on that red, white, and blue uniform for missions, but that doesn't mean he is excluded from the chain of command, Phil. It was my command. Not his. My orders."
"I know it was your command, Miri. But don't you think that perhaps the events leading up to that particular mission clouded your judgement? Just a little?" he asked her, his tone reasonable and mild. "Would you really do the same thing on any other mission? Would you really put a gun to his head because he didn't like an order you gave him?"
Damn it, she hated it when he used logic on her. Miri made sure to throw a pout his way before addressing his comments. "I may have overreacted." She paused for a moment. "A little."
"Miri," he began, lifting one hand toward her, a silent request that she come back to his side. She shook her head, gave him a glare that told him it wouldn't work. He sighed, a soft sigh that was still terribly loud in the room. Nothing in his face had changed and yet, everything had changed. He was actually pleading with her, in as much as Phil ever did anything like pleading. "Miri. Please?"
She couldn't resist. Slowly, so slowly, she relaxed her posture and made her way back over to his bed. Her hand slid into his and he tugged her toward him. Miri climbed up into the bed and settled in next to him. His arm slid around her and held her close. He said nothing, simply held her. But she knew that all was forgiven. She sighed and leaned more of her weight into him, content, because there was no where else she wanted to be.
~*~*~*~*~
Clint was waiting for her on the mats. Coming to S.H.I.E.L.D. and sparring had been his idea. He wanted to ask questions that he was sure she wouldn't answer so he'd decided that sparring was the solution. If he won the fight, he could ask his questions and she had to answer. If she won, he'd never be able to ask her anything about what ever it was. Ever. She'd agreed because it was, at least, a fair deal. Of course, this was assuming she could ever actually beat him in a sparring match. He had height and weight on her. And skills. She had a nasty temper and problems with control. Oh, yeah. It was a fair deal. All she had to do was hold on to her temper and overpower him. No fucking problem.
He was in a pair of shorts and an a-line tank top. He'd put on sparring gloves and a pair of trainers. She took a few seconds to stretch, loosening the muscles in her arms and legs, before giving a nod of her head to let him know she was good to go. He'd watched her the whole time, shot an anticipatory and predatory look her way. She took up a ready position and waited.
He didn't disappoint. In no time at all, he advanced his position and took the first swing. She blocked it, the move painfully easy and basic, letting her know that he was going to give her a few minutes to get comfortable, then he was coming at her with everything he had. She just smiled and thought to herself, Bring it on, lover.
Some ten minutes later, she was face down on the mats with Clint's weight pressing hard on her back. He had one arm caught between her body and his leg. The other was free but useless despite the fact that she'd pinched him as hard as possible and it hadn't moved him. He'd well and truly kicked her ass. She was tired, sweaty, sticky, sore, and she just wanted to go home. Which meant she was stuck here until she answered whatever questions he had to ask her. She glared up at him from the corner of her eye, hating the smirk that had curled up the corners of his mouth. "Fine. You won. Don't gloat. Just get on to the fucking questions. Then I'm catching a cab back to my apartment. Alone."
"Aw, come on now, Lexi. Don't be like that. I beat you fair and square, babe." He was smart enough to keep the smugness from his tone. She pinched at his thigh to let him know she wasn't in the mood for anything, prompting him to sigh. He took hold of the arm and twisted it back and up, until she felt muscles pull tight and scream in agony. "Tell me about Elsa's hospital room," he said, voice all business.
"I'm sorry? Tell you about what?" she grunted. There was a brief notion of struggling against his hold. But she ignored it, knowing doing so would only earn her torn ligaments and muscle strain in her shoulder. "That isn't even a question. You said you were going to ask questions."
"Don't try playing coy, Lexi. Tell me what happened that night in Elsa's hospital room." There was quiet, almost deadly intent in his words.
Fuck. This was not something she wanted to discuss. Not because she was embarrassed by anything that had happened that night, but because there were some things that were just too damned personal to share. "Not my story to tell," she told him. Clint muttered under his breath and applied just a little more pressure to her arm. Alex fought back the urge to both hiss and wince with pain.
"Don't play games with me, Alex. There are events that have occurred that you have not told me about. Since they involve me in some way, I think its only fair you share them. Answer me and I'll let you go."
"You've obviously heard what happened. Why do I need to say anything more?"
"Now, Alex. The longer you take, the longer you have to sit like this. I know this can't be comfortable for your shoulder."
"Fuck you," she spat. But the tension ran out of her and she sank into the mats. It eased some of the pain on her shoulder. It did nothing for the pain in her heart. "Miri and I had just fought to keep HYDRA from overtaking the base. We'd stumbled through more blood and bodies there than we'd ever wanted to see. Then we got the distress call from the helicarrier. Coulson's voice. And we knew it was going down. You and he were on it and... Miri and I volunteered to go into the wreck. Find people. Bring them out. I don't think Fury would have sent us in after the fight on base, but there was no one else to go in."
Alex stopped and swallowed, the sound loud in the vast silence of the gym. The memories were threatening to eat away at her sanity. They'd done it once and look at what had happened. Clint must have understood her distress because he spoke to her softly, nonsensical things that helped ease back some of the lingering fear. "And we found you two in that mess. Miri found Coulson and he was nearly dead. I found you. You were bleeding and... Maybe things in Elsa's hospital room got out of hand, but it was no less than Astrid deserved."
"That isn't fair to her, Alex."
Alex snorted. "She knew about Loki and she never told anyone. So many people could have been spared if we'd known Loki was involved. If Thor had stayed with the helicarrier... You don't get to decide who I'm mad at, Clint. I almost lost you that night. Do you know what that would have done to me? I was already in a really fragile state of mind. And if you had died... Well, I don't think I'd have made it back."
"Lexi," he began, but she used the hand caught between them to pinch him again. He broke off on a hiss. "Damn it, woman. Stop that."
"I'll stop the minute you stop trying to tell me that Astrid and Thor aren't responsible for what happened!" she snapped. She wished he'd lean down and try to talk in her ear so she could smack the back of her skull into his face. But he'd done that once and learned how dangerous it was. He'd never done it again.
"Loki and HYDRA are responsible for what happened, Lexi. Blaming Astrid and Thor is--"
"If Loki hadn't had a hard on for punishing his brother, he would have left Astrid alone. And she wouldn't have drawn Thor away from the helicarrier. It wouldn't have crashed. People I love and care for wouldn't have nearly been killed."
"Lexi, baby. You can't blame Thor for going after the woman he loves."
"Would you have left your post? Would you have disobeyed orders if I had been the one in danger?" she asked him, voice soft to keep herself from choking on her words. To his credit, he didn't answer right away. He actually thought about it. "I have every right to blame him for that. I have every right to blame them both. I'd lost you once. Never again, Clint."
"Aren't you supposed to forgive people for their mistakes? Not lay blame? Isn't that what you learned in church?"
"I stopped believing in God a long time ago, Clint. And I can't forgive. Not yet. Astrid's lucky I stopped Miri. I could have walked out of that room and never looked back." She gave a slight shake of her head, spilling a few sweaty strands of hair across her eye so that she didn't have to look up into his face and see his disappointment. "Don't tell me that you wouldn't have done the same thing if Thor had gotten me injured or killed?"
Clint sighed, but he said nothing further. At least nothing on that subject. He switched gears quickly enough. "Tell me why Steve seemed unhappy when Coulson thanked him for watching Miri's back when you flushed out the HYDRA nest."
"Because Captain America didn't like that Miri and I shot a kid when he pulled a knife on her. Apparently, surrendering was more important. Never mind he surrendered before he tried to stab her. He wouldn't have had the chance if Rogers hadn't tried to talk Miri out of shooting him in the first place."
"You slaughtered everyone in a HYDRA uniform." There was no question, no condemnation, no surprise in his words. Just cold, hard fact. Alex nodded.
"They deserved it," she whispered. His free hand reached up to brush her hair from her face. He said nothing but she could see the understanding on his face. "I guess Rogers didn't like it when Miri put her Glock to his head."
Clint only stared at her for a few moments. She could read the confusion and the shock on his face. It seemed to take him forever to find his voice. "... Miri put a gun to Captain America's head? And you let her?"
"I was a little too busy to stop her, what with having the muzzle of my Glock trained on Thor and all," she explained. His hold on her went lax, allowing her to pull her arm from his hold and straighten it out. Alex took a chance and tried to throw him off of her. She wasn't sure if she'd surprised him or if he let her do it, but he went tipping to one side. She made to get up, but her victory was short lived. In seconds, Clint had her pinned to the mats on her back, his fingers wrapped around her wrists while his thighs clamped her legs together to keep her from trying to kick him off. "Let me go, Barton. You had the answers you wanted. I'm ready to go home and go to bed. By myself."
The look he sent her just then lacked any kind of surprise. In fact, it was filled with that same predatory hunger she'd seen earlier. Despite being pissed at him and his methods, she couldn't help the thrill of need that wound through her. "You don't want to go home by yourself. Not really."
"Clint, so help me, if you don't let me up--"
Anything she might have threatened him with was lost the moment his mouth covered hers. The kiss was all heat and fire and passion and Alex found herself melting into him.
She'd be mad at him for using sex to rid her of her temper. Later. When she was done letting him do whatever he wanted to her.
~*~
(no subject)
Date: 2012-08-26 09:55 pm (UTC)the boys. yes. i'm sure Thor will try in earnest to repay his debt to the rest of the guys as best as he can. Tony's Star Trek reference is just all shades of awesome and i love that he knows these things. Steve... yeah. i'm sure he'll get there. time.
Phil and Miri are so disgustingly rational about it all. even when she's mad, she's rational. they make such a disgustingly perfect couple. you know this, right? they seriously do.
Alex and Clint... gods, those two. i really don't know what to do with them. maybe, with time, Alex will lighten up a little? who knows? but it did work out so maybe, with a little time, all of the hurts can be soothed. maybe not completely healed, but at least soothed enough that they can keep on keeping on. you know?
the helicarrier... holy crap. still cannot believe how that all played out.
glad you liked it, bb. maybe i can get some more done.