Among the Strong
Jan. 2nd, 2026 05:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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marysuevirusTitle: Among the Strong
Chapter Sixty One: Reconnecting
Fandom: the Marvel universe
Rating: 18 and up
Warnings: graphic violence, language, sex, dark themes, anything else i can toss in.
Disclaimer: the recognizable characters and places contained herein are the property of Marvel. i'm merely borrowing for the sake of entertainment. no money is being made from this venture. Haley belongs todazzledfirestar Morgan belongs toginevra Roxxy belongs tonanaeanaven Jehnna belongs to silverfox_chan and Dare belongs to me. the concept and title of The Mary Sue Virus are used with permission from dazzledfirestar .
Author's Notes: this is almost entirely Daz's fault. okay. so it really isn't. its actually almost 100% my fault. Daz just did a whole lot of encouraging. this fic is going to be kind of dark, so please keep that in mind while reading.
Among the Strong - the index
She lay with her head resting upon his shoulder and one arm thrown across his torso, just beneath the swell of pectoral muscles. Her fingers stroked through the length of his fur idly. He’d come to realize, over the time they’d been together, that it was something she did without thought, as if she used it to ground herself. Considering they were ensconced in a beautifully appointed hotel suite, lying in a California king sized bed upon sweaty, rumpled sheets, he felt she should have been grounded enough. Especially as he’d spent the last ten minutes or more listening to the sound of her breathing even out from panting gasps for air to normal. He had, as well, listened to the thundering of her heart gradually return to its usual slow, steady beat within her rib cage. Such sounds mingled with the lingering scent of desire clinging to her and the sweat drying upon her skin.
He also knew she ran her fingers thought his fur when her thoughts were in a state of disarray and she needed to make sense of them. He could practically smell, and feel, the weight of her need to tell her friends what they felt they’d discovered pressing down upon her. Crushing her with its insistence. He drew a breath and let it go on a sigh. “Rosemary--”
“We need to tell them, Henry,” she responded, her voice cutting across his own. There were times, like now, when he wondered how it was she knew what he was going to say before he did. It even still surprised him more than he felt it should have. They’d spent more than a decade together. Her insight into his mind should not have come as a surprise any longer. And yet…
“We have no proof,” he countered.
“We have the reports and the tests,” she responded, shifting so that she could prop her chin on her hand, her elbow none too gently digging into his shoulder. He suspected that she had adopted that position intentionally so that she could deliver that small bit of pain.
“We have circumstantial evidence, Rosemary,” he chided gently. It had been the same argument for days now, ever since they’d managed to put together the pieces of the puzzle that had been found scattered in her friends’ blood. It was that argument, in part, that had prompted him to suggest this weekend away. Mostly, he’d put forth the idea of a few days hidden away in a luxurious suite located within one of the top rated hotels in the city so that they two of them could simply get to know one another again. It had been a long pair of months and much had happened. Henry had felt the need to reconnect with Rosemary in the most primal and physical manner possible. She’d agreed so readily that he’d thought it meant she was willing to let go of the thoughts that had plagued her in the days following their frenzied bouts of research.
“But its all right there, Henry!” she insisted almost angrily. She rose into a sitting position, taking her share of the bedding with her to cover the tantalizing shape of her body from his view. A silent, visual rebuke. It was an action that brought a soft prick of pain to his heart. Rosemary had never hidden herself from him. Not since they’d first fallen victim to their own swelling desires. “It doesn’t make any sense to keep this from them.”
“I realize that you love your friends, Rosemary. I know that they are your family and you would do anything for them,” he said gently, slowly levering himself into a sitting position. She stared at him with eyes darkened by her anger. And that was painful enough to bear. But the confusion on her face was much worse than the anger. “I know you think I’m being unreasonable about all of this. I promise you such a thing is far from the truth. My reasoning behind not telling them is that I do not wish to hurt them and, in doing so, hurt you.”
His words, delivered in a soft voice filled with both love and regret, made her pause for much longer than he felt she might have otherwise. Then she shook her head at him and put her back against the headboard of the massive bed. “It isn’t right to lie to them, Henry. Not after everything they’ve been through. You know what we found.”
“I know we found anomalies that point to a possible conclusion,” he admitted. She shot him a glare, her eyes pinning him where he sat with the darkness in them. She opened her mouth to continue, prompting him to raise a hand in order to forestall her next words. “And it is precisely because of what they have been through that I hesitate to tell them about this. Because the truth is we simply do not know if those anomalies point to a hidden truth or if they are simply what they are. Some kind of anomaly in the blood work. And we have no way of knowing if Sinister somehow planted that anomaly there. To throw us off and leave us in confusion. To leave our friends angry and anxious to seek out retribution.”
His reasoning gave her pause and he saw logic begin to reassert itself. One of the many, many things he loved about Rosemary was her deep well of passion. It was there in the way she committed herself to her duties. The way she committed herself to her friends and her family and her team. She was a woman of passion, a trait that never failed to bring Henry’s need for her to a full boil. If she knew of all the times he’d had to walk away from her back in their early days, before they’d started dating, because he’d oftentimes found himself as randy as a young boy confronted by the object of his desire, he had no doubt she’d blush from the top of her head to the tips of her toes.
Henry pushed those thoughts aside in order to focus on how she tempered her passion with deep, rational thought. She was amazing and he was never bored by the way she managed to co-mingle her rational mind and her passionate nature. She lifted her gaze from her lap, the place it always retreated to when she was lost in thought, and met his stare head on. “You’re saying that its possible Sinister tinkered with things in the hopes it would see them go off half-cocked. So that he could attempt to capture them again.”
“That is a very distinct possibility with Mr. Sinister, Rosemary,” he told her, giving a nod of his head. The color fled from her face, leaving a touch of paleness beneath the golden hue of her skin. Hands that had been resting idly in her lap began twisting around themselves in agitation and anger. Henry wanted to kick himself. Making her fret and worry was never something he ever wanted to do to her. But she had to understand just what manner of thoughts made him hold his tongue. Because he, too, felt that his friends, his family, should be made aware of their findings.
But as they were dealing with Sinister, doing so would be foolhardy. And Henry was not going to put anyone’s feet on a path that could lead to recapture and further forced pregnancy. Such events would be akin to torture for those of his family who had been so cruelly chosen and taken. He would not be the one responsible for it happening a second time. “I do not like keeping this from them, Rosemary. But until we know for certain, one way or the other, we simply cannot burden them with this information. I will not put that weight, that guilt, upon their shoulders. Not without good cause.”
It seemed as if his words, his reasoning, finally reached her. Her shoulders slumped and she seemed to deflate before his eyes. Henry reached out and took hold of one of her hands, lifting it so that he could press a tender, barely there kiss against her palm. Then he wrapped his other hand around hers so that he held the extremity, slightly chilled with her waxing and waning emotions, between both of his. “I don’t like this, Henry. I don’t like any of it,” she whispered, her voice heavy with regret and frustration.
“Nor do I, my dear,” he replied quietly.
“I wish Haley and Dare were at home. I can’t help feeling like we’re going to lose them,” she told him. Her face, when she turned it toward him, was still pale. And her eyes were large in her face, wide and filled with no small amount of fear.
“Do not go borrowing trouble, Rosemary,” he chided, though there was no malice in his words. With slow motions, he reached out to slip an arm around her shoulders, then he tugged her into his side so that he could wrap her in his hold. “Haley and Alasdare are for more formidable than I think you give them credit for. They are quite capable of protecting themselves.”
“Normally, I’d agree with you. But neither one of them is thinking straight right now. And we nearly lost Dare,” she responded. The fear that had been in her eyes had moved to her voice, letting him know that she was very unsettled by things as they were.
“That is very true. We nearly did. But Alasdare survived. She is quite skilled at surviving. And you discredit Haley’s abilities as a leader. Given time, she will once more fall into rational thinking,” Henry assured her. Rosemary shook her head, as if she didn’t want to believe him. It prompted him to offer her a knowing smile. His hand released its hold on hers and lifted so that he could curl a finger under her chin, so that he could tip her head up just a little and look her directly in the eye. “Which means that you will be very heartened to hear that your missing teammates have been found.”
“What?” Rosemary’s voice rose upon that single word and her eyes went wide as she stared at him. “What do you mean, Henry?”
He chuckled briefly at the demanding note in her voice. “I mean that Warren called while you were availing yourself of the whirlpool tub to let us know that he heard from Scott. He and the others are in Scotland, heading to a small village that does not apparently to exist on any map, because Remy seems to have it on authority that this village is where Haley and Alasdare have gone to ground.”
“Scotland?” Rosemary echoed, her face bearing an expression of the puzzlement that had been in that single word. “What are they doing in Scotland? I don’t think either of them know anyone in Scotland.”
“Warren said Scott expressed the same sentiment. We know Alasdare’s mother is from England. And she apparently still has family in the London area. But there are no accounts of family in Scotland, which might have explained how Alasdare ended up there. Haley’s arrival could be easily explained by having tracked Alasdare to her present location,” Henry told her.
“That makes sense,” Rosemary nodded. She was deep in thought, the worry and fear from moments ago all but buried under the expression she wore. The one that came when she was giving careful consideration to new information. “Haley made it her personal mission to ensure that nothing happened to Dare after she almost died. She would absolutely do everything in her power to track her down and keep things from getting bad.”
“Haley shoulders too much responsibility,” Henry said with a sigh.
“Mmm. She does,” Rosemary agreed with a faint nod. “But that’s part of what makes her a good team leader.”
“It does. But such a tactic comes with its own disadvantages.” Henry knew that well enough. He’d seen such things in action over the years. It was one of the things that made Scott an excellent team leader. It was also part of the reason he came across as hard and something of an asshole. He had always taken the weight of the world onto his shoulders without care for how it would affect him.
“Did Warren say when Scott thought they’d be coming home?” Rosemary asked. It was a pleasant turn of the topic, and she couldn’t quite hide the excitement she felt.
“The men have not spoken with Haley or Alasdare yet,” he told her.
“Oh,” she replied. Some of the excitement left her and she seemed to deflate before his eyes. “They’re going to have a hard time with that. Dare is too stubborn for her own good. And Haley thinks neither Scott nor Johnny wants anything to do with her anymore. Its going to take a miracle to convince her that such isn’t the case. And its going to take several more to convince them to come back.”
“Faith, my love,” Henry told her. It was plain to hear that she didn’t think the men would be able to accomplish such things. He tugged her a little closer, leaning down to gently press a kiss to her head. “Do not deny the power of persuasion the men have. And do not underestimate just how much Haley and Alasdare need them. Have faith that things will work out.”
“Easy for you to say,” she told him, looking up at him with an expression that was equal parts hope and disbelief. “You’ve never been on a team with Dare. She’s the most stubborn person I know. And Haley is hurt enough that she might not believe anything either Scott or Johnny tells her.”
“You make valid points, Rosemary. You do know your teammates and friends better than I. But I know my teammates and friends better than you do. So I believe we shall have to simply wait and see what happens.” he said. There was, perhaps, a smug smile upon his face. Because he was certain, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Scott would accomplish what he’d set out to do. He was confident that Remy and Logan would accomplish what they’d set out to do. And that was to convince the women they held deep in their hearts that their love was real. That it ran deep and strong. And that they could not live without those they held most beloved in their hearts. What he knew of Johnny suggested that Haley’s husband would be of a same mind as Scott.
Rosemary’s friends did not stand a chance against that much need and want.
She stared up at him a moment, a faint smile tilting the corners of her mouth up. “You believe they’ll do it. Don’t you?
“When it comes to love, my dear, I believe that anything is possible,” he responded, his voice a low and gentle growl in the silence of the beautifully appointed bedroom.
“You’re a softee,” Rosemary accused, her voice heavy with warmth.
“If you want to call me a softee because I believe that our friends will all find the happiness they truly deserve, then I fully deserve such a title,” he replied easily. If the shoe fit…
Rosemary stared at him for several long moments, her eyes bright in the dim light. There was a faintly contemplative look in them that soon enough cleared away to become light and gentle and filled with that softest of emotions. “I love you, Henry. I don’t know what I would do without you,” she finally whispered. Her words were sweet and gentle, filled with the depth of the emotions she held for him. Henry smiled at her, reaching out with one hand in order to once more tip her face up toward his.
“And I love you, Rosemary. I dare not contemplate what my life would be, were you not in it,” he whispered. He saw it the moment the hints of fear that had come with his words registered with her, saw the way she frowned at him ever so slightly. Before she could ask him about it, or offer some method of reproach, he leaned down so that he could take her mouth with his. And he was, perhaps, a bit rougher with the kiss than he should have been. But he couldn’t quite help himself.
Because he remembered, in vivid detail, just how ill she’d been. How close she’d come to death before he and Reed had been able to find a way to stop the spread of the poison that her own bloodstream had become. He remembered how frightened he’d been that he wouldn’t be good enough or smart enough to solve the riddle of her illness before it took her from him. Because he was weak and he did not know what he would have done if she’d slipped away from him. And he didn’t want to hear her make the claim that nothing had happened to her.
Something had happened to her. And it had nearly cost him everything he held dear.
So he plundered her mouth with more force than he’d initially intended. He took what he wanted and needed from her, tongue delving deep into her mouth. Fangs grating the sensitive flesh of her lips until she whimpered and writhed in his hold. And still he pressed on, delivering fevered punishment in the way he kissed her. In the way he held her. In the way he loved her.
He never wanted to feel that helpless and lost again. He, of all people, knew how fragile and precious life was. And he’d always known that there would come a day when one of his friends would not make it back. He’d thought himself prepared for such an event. But that had been before he’d completely lost his heart to the warm and sweet contradiction that was the woman in his arms. Rosemary was steady and rational and calm, always thinking things through before acting. She was intelligent and passionate. But she was also fierce and loyal and so many other things that drew Henry toward her as a moth to a flame. He loved her with all his being and, were something to ever happen to her, he wasn’t certain he would ever recover from such an event.
He was a weak, greedy soul. And he poured that weakness and greed into the way he took her down to the mattress. The way he plundered her mouth with his lips and his tongue. The way he reminded her, again and again and again, with his teeth that she was his. And the way he took her with his own body, his cock long and hard and thick and aching as he drove it into her again and again and again. And again.
She was his home and his light, his reason for rising from the bed every morning. She was his very life. And he used lips and hands and body to remind her of that very fact. To leave his mark upon her soul. The way she’d left her own upon his so long ago.
~*~*~*~*~
The staff lounge was as quiet as ever. Jehnna had never seen anyone come here other than Jean, Warren, Sam, and herself. It made her wonder if anyone ever used it anymore of it had been abandoned entirely. Of course, she had to think that Jean had made it clear that she was going to be using it at certain times and had asked people not to intrude when doing so. Either way, it was quiet and peaceful. And Jehnna was nervous.
It had been a couple of weeks since the first time she’d come to this room, Sam leading her gently as if afraid he’d hurt her. Or rouse her anger. She owed him so many apologies. Looking back, she could see that. It spoke to just how much help Jean and the therapist she was seeing had been that she could recognize such a thing. She’d been so angry that she’d lashed out at her friends. People she considered her family. She’d made everyone’s lives terrible and those were things she would regret until the day she took her last breath. She owed so many apologies to so many people. Her goal was to start that today.
She knew that it would take so much more therapy than she’d already had to get her back to a place where she could live with herself. And she knew it wasn’t going to fix all of her issues. She’d have to work at those constantly for the rest of her life. But she needed to try to get back to something akin to normal. Whatever that was now. Funny how Morgan’s words came back to haunt her today, considering what she wanted to attempt.
“Try to relax, Jehnna. I’m here for you. Sam is here for you. And Warren is going to be here for you, too,” Jean said gently. The woman smiled at her, a look that was equal measures of reassurance and sadness. The sadness had been there a lot lately. Jehnna knew it was because of Scott. She wished she could help Jean with the sadness the way the other woman had helped her with the anger. But Jehnna was in territory she was very unfamiliar with.
“I appreciate that, Jean. And all you’ve done for me so far,” Jehnna replied steadily.
“I’m happy to help,” Jean returned. She gave Jehnna a considering look for a moment, her mouth turning down just a little. “Are you sure you’re ready for this? You haven’t been in therapy for very long. There’s no shame in taking your time to deal with everything.”
“I need to do this,” Jehnna replied, her tone firm with her conviction. She knew things weren’t going to be easy. But she had to try. She had to start repairing the damage she’d caused.
“I’m happy you want to do the right thing, honey,” Sam said, one hand patting her knee gently. “But you don’t need to force it. Everyone will understand if you need more time.”
“You’re so sweet, Sam,” she said, turning to look at him. And he was. He had been there with her every step of the way, offering her words of support. And his strength. She was lucky to have him and she thought, maybe just a little, that she didn’t really deserve him. “But I need to start now. I feel like, if I don’t, I’ll never be able to make things right.”
Sam gave her a look she recognized well. It was the one he used when he thought she was being stubborn about something. And maybe she was. But she couldn’t explain to him just how deep the guilt ran. Just how horrible she felt about treating her family the way she had. She was the reason why Dare, and then Haley, had run. Because she’d spit on their kindness and paid them back by calling them whores. Every time she thought about that day, her chest actually physically hurt. Because she’d lashed out at her family in blind rage. And the whole experience had been like being a prisoner in her own body. She’d kind of seen her actions from a distance. And she’d tried to stop those ugly, hurtful words from coming out of her mouth. But she’d been unable to do so.
Not that she had any excuses for her actions. Those were her words, spoken in her voice. And those thoughts had come from her brain. So she’d obviously felt such things were truth on some level. It sucked admitting such a thing. But there was nothing for it now. Her therapist had told her that things would be hard until they weren’t anymore. And accepting that she’d thought and said such terrible things to people she loved was as hard as it got.
She was drawn from her musings by the knock upon the door. The sound echoed around the room for a second or two before the panel opened to allow the last members of this get together into the lounge. Warren stood with Morgan, a faint smile on his face. He motioned with his head, suggesting silently that Morgan enter the room. She looked hesitant, which was only fair, and it seemed she crossed the threshold grudgingly. Jehnna watched her come. She felt that spike of jealousy that came when Morgan was with Warren, and she did everything she could to stamp it down ruthlessly. Because the anger boiled just under the surface, and it wanted to be set free.
Jehnna hated it. She hated the vile, almost oily feel of her anger as it shifted restlessly inside of her. She hated how it turned her into a person she didn’t know. She just hated it, because that wasn’t her. She had to wonder how Dare could stand always being angry.
Morgan took a seat in one of the chairs while Warren settled on the bar stool near the wall. She could see the confusion on Morgan’s face, along with some apprehension. Jehnna didn’t blame her. She’d be a little leery of what was going to happen here after the last time she’d been in the same room with someone who had been mean and hurtful to her. A voice whispered to her that Morgan had earned it because she’d stolen Warren away. Jehnna forced that voice aside, slipped into a breathing exercise the therapist had taught her to help push the anger aside. The exercise wasn’t perfect. It didn’t stop every bout of anger Jehnna had. But it stopped enough that she felt like she’d made progress already.
“I know you’re curious about why we’re here, Morgan,” Jean said, breaking the uncomfortable silence that had started filling the space between everyone. Morgan shifted her attention to the other woman, giving Jehnna the opportunity to study her teammate. Back in the early days, Morgan had always seemed larger than life. She’d never settled long with one boy and had seemed to prefer Dare’s company to many of the young men she’d gone on dates with. In those days, to Jehnna, she’d seemed to know exactly who she was and what she wanted. But the person Jehnna was looking at now was nothing like that image. There was hesitancy cloaking her. It was accompanied by confusion and fear and loss.
Those were much the same emotions that Jehnna was struggling with. And seeing it on Morgan made Jehnna wonder, for the first time since the day they’d woken up in Beast’s medlab, if this was how all of them had felt. She hadn’t seen enough of Haley and Dare to know for certain, but she was willing to bet that it had been the same kind of existential crisis for them as it had been for Jehnna. And apparently Morgan. Just how much had the incandescent anger blinded her to?
“Warren didn’t tell me why you wanted to see me,” Morgan said, her voice quiet. Jehnna didn’t miss the brief glance Morgan sent her way, as if worried that simply mentioning Warren would see her flying off the handle. God, how much trouble had her temper caused? She wasn’t sure what she’d do if she couldn’t repair the rifts she’d caused.
“I asked you to meet us here, Morgan, on behalf of Jehnna,” Jean continued. One of her hands gestured toward the sofa where Jehnna sat. Morgan again glanced at Jehnna before turning back to Jean. It wasn’t an auspicious start to this meeting. Jehnna wanted to be hurt, but she knew that she’d earned her friend’s distrust and confusion.
“I feel like Jehnna made her position pretty clear the last time we talked,” Morgan replied. There was very little to read in her voice and, again, Jehnna reminded herself that she’d earned this kind of treatment.
“I said terrible things the last time we were in a room together,” Jehnna said, shifting her gaze to Jean to let her know she would take over. Jean relaxed back in her head, but not before letting Jehnna know mentally that Jean would be there to help if the need arose. Jehnna offered her a smile, then turned back to Morgan. Her teammate held herself very still, as if she was a prey animal trying very hard to avoid the notice of a predator. “I was horrible and mean to you and to the others. And I’m so sorry.“
Morgan stared at her a moment, nothing to see on her face. Jehnna thought she might be trying to figure out if this was legitimate or not. Or maybe she was searching for what she most wanted to say. Whatever it was Morgan said, Jehnna would listen. It was the only way they were going to find some kind of peace after what she’d done.”You called us all whores, Jehnna,” Morgan said, her voice quiet. That didn’t stop Jehnna from hearing the faint touches of hurt that colored the other woman’s words. “You said Dare hadn’t suffered any trauma. You more or less called her a liar to her face. I don’t know if an apology will fix that.”
“I know,” Jehnna nodded. “I know I was horrible to all of you. And I know that my apologies probably won’t mean anything. But I still want to make them. Because I mean it. I am so sorry.”
There was skepticism on Morgan’s face, which was understandable. Jehnna didn’t blame her one bit. This whole thing had to look odd to her. It hadn’t been Jehnna’s intention to apologize so early. She’d wanted to wait until everyone was together so she could offer her apologies to everyone at the same time. And even her therapist had said that apologizing would help heal some of the trauma. Along with forgiving herself for the things she felt she’d failed at.
It was just hard to sit back and let this whole thing fester. Morgan had avoided her ever since that disastrous meeting. Hell, Jehnna hadn’t seen Haley or Dare between the meeting and the time they’d left. So it was obvious they’d been avoiding her, too. And that hurt. Not that Jehnna blamed them. She’d have done the same thing. But they’d been so close once. They’d been a tight-knit family that had relied on one another. They’d joked and teased like brothers and sisters often did. And she’d ruined it with her callous words and her callous treatment.
That voice popped up again, the one that tried to turn her words and thoughts around so that everything was someone else’s fault. It tried to tell her that Morgan and the others had earned everyone of those words and the treatment that had come with them. It tried to convince Jehnna that she was the victim and she’d done nothing wrong. And Jehnna took a breath again, then another, and slowly forced that voice to go away. Forced that anger that came with it back into the box where she’d been putting it. Because the voice was wrong. The anger was wrong.
She was allowed to be angry about what had happened. Her therapist had explained it to her. That her anger wasn’t bad. It was just misplaced and misdirected. Jehnna hadn’t really understood what that meant. Until Jean had helped her relive those moments when her anger had taken over and left her blind to everything else. The meeting with the girls. That moment in the conference room. She’d seen them in her mind’s eye, seen a person she didn’t know and had never met before. And she’d felt so much shame at her behavior. That version of her, that Jehnna, was horrible and she never wanted to be that person again.
“I know I’m not better yet. But I’m working on it,” Jehnna said, giving her attention back to Morgan. Her words, though, were meant for the other people in the room with her, too. “Jean’s been helping me work through the tangle of emotions so that I can think around them again. And my therapist has been helping me deal with the trauma and the guilt and all that other stuff that came about because of Sinister. Its going to take a while before I’m back to what might be considered normal. But I want you to know that I will continue working toward that. I will get better.”
“I’m happy for you, Jehnna. Really,” Morgan replied, though she really didn’t sound like she was all that happy.
“I know its going to take a lot of time to rebuild the trust we once had. To rebuild our friendship. I’m committed to doing the work so that we can get back to where we were before,” Jehnna told her teammate. She glanced around the room, took in the look on everyone else’s faces. Jean was giving her a soft, encouraging smile. So was Sam. Their faith in her was much needed and it bolstered her courage. Warren’s expression was a mix of emotions. There was pride there, along with more faith. And there was also a lingering sadness that had been there in recent days. She offered him a tiny smile. “I don’t blame you, you know. Neither one of you. I see now that some of my anger stemmed from my ability to understand.”
“It wasn’t easy for you, Jehnna,” Warren replied. There was tenderness in his voice, which was still brushed with that same sadness.
“It wasn’t easy for any of us. But I made it worse by accusing Morgan of stealing you. Which was terrible. Because, honestly. How could she not fall in love with you? You’re an angel,” she reminded him, her voice warm and friendly. His smile grew wider. And it lost some of the sadness. Not all, but enough.
“Jesus, Jehnna,” Morgan said, a faint smile tweaking the corners of her mouth upward. “That sounds just like your journal entries from when we were still students. You were so sappy then. I never thought I’d be glad to hear it again. I think I missed it.”
“I missed it, too,” Jehnna told her. She offered Morgan a smile to hide the fact that she wanted to cry. This was so hard, because she had to keep reminding herself that she’d made her choice, too. She loved Sam just like she loved Warren. And while she wanted both of them in her life, she wasn’t wired that way. She didn’t understand how Morgan could want relationships like that, but that didn’t give her the right to make Morgan or anyone else feel bad that they did. Jehnna had come to the conclusion that she was as old fashioned as Sinister had implied. And she was pretty much okay with that. And she knew that she would, some day, be okay with the fact that Warren wanted something more. Something different.
“Its going to take more work than this,” Morgan warned. There was a serious look on her face and she seemed to be on the verge of pulling into herself again. “Its going to take more than what’s gone on here to make things better. They’ll never be right because you can’t take back what you said. But you can make them better. But I’m easier to convince than Haley or Dare will be.”
“You always were,” Jehnna responded, a faint smile on her face to let the other woman know she was teasing. For a moment, Morgan’s expression didn’t change and Jehnna worried she’d misjudged the atmosphere. But then Morgan chuckled and shook her head.
“You have a point,” she conceded. A moment later, the laughter was gone. Morgan turned to look at Jean, her expression almost blank. “I know you’ve been working with her. I know you’ve seen what’s going on inside of her head. I want to know if she’s being honest or if this is some kind of snow job. Because I can’t do that again. If this is a joke, it’ll destroy what few ties still exist between the team. And I won’t be part of helping her destroy them.”
Jean glanced toward Jehnna, her gaze intent as she studied her. Jehnna understood where Morgan was coming from. It was fair of her to be hesitant and cautious. Jehnna had been a real bitch to her friends. So it made sense that Morgan would be wary of this sudden about face. For her part, Jehnna didn’t fidget or anything while Jean looked at her. She kept her mind relaxed, in case Jean decided she needed to dip into her head to be sure of her answer. But that didn’t happen. After several moments, Jean returned her attention to Morgan. “She’s serious, Morgan. She wants to do whatever it takes to rebuild bridges between you and the rest of the team.”
Morgan mulled that statement over for a moment, then rose to her feet with a nod of her head. Then she glanced at Jehnna. “If you plan on rebuilding bridges, I suggest you find a damn good contractor. Because its going to take a lot of work.”
She was out the door a moment later. Jehnna glanced from Jean to Sam to Warren. Warren offered her a smile and rose to his feet. “She’s right, Jehnna. This was a good start. But its going to take more. More time. More work. More everything,” Warren told her. His smile grew wider. “But I have faith in you. You’re capable of amazing things when you put your mind to it. You can do this.”
He closed the distance between them and leaned down to press a kiss to her forehead. Then he was out the door. Jehnna took a deep breath, held it a moment, then let it go. She’d hoped this meeting with Morgan would have gone better. It could have gone better. But it also could have gone worse. She’d made a little bit of headway. And that was more than she’d had when she’d walked into the room earlier. Morgan was right. It was going to take so much more work. She needed to come up with a plan. Jehnna rose to her feet, eager to get started. “Thank you, Jean. I appreciate you helping me set this up,” she offered the other woman.
“You’re welcome, Jehnna. I’m glad I could help,” Jean replied. Sam got to his feet and moved to the door, holding it open for Jehnna. She offered him a smile and stepped out into the hallway.
Yes. Morgan was right and this would take work. But Warren was right, too. Jehnna could absolutely do this.
Chapter Sixty One: Reconnecting
Fandom: the Marvel universe
Rating: 18 and up
Warnings: graphic violence, language, sex, dark themes, anything else i can toss in.
Disclaimer: the recognizable characters and places contained herein are the property of Marvel. i'm merely borrowing for the sake of entertainment. no money is being made from this venture. Haley belongs to
dazzledfirestar Morgan belongs toginevra Roxxy belongs tonanaeanaven Jehnna belongs to silverfox_chan and Dare belongs to me. the concept and title of The Mary Sue Virus are used with permission from dazzledfirestar . Author's Notes: this is almost entirely Daz's fault. okay. so it really isn't. its actually almost 100% my fault. Daz just did a whole lot of encouraging. this fic is going to be kind of dark, so please keep that in mind while reading.
Among the Strong - the index
She lay with her head resting upon his shoulder and one arm thrown across his torso, just beneath the swell of pectoral muscles. Her fingers stroked through the length of his fur idly. He’d come to realize, over the time they’d been together, that it was something she did without thought, as if she used it to ground herself. Considering they were ensconced in a beautifully appointed hotel suite, lying in a California king sized bed upon sweaty, rumpled sheets, he felt she should have been grounded enough. Especially as he’d spent the last ten minutes or more listening to the sound of her breathing even out from panting gasps for air to normal. He had, as well, listened to the thundering of her heart gradually return to its usual slow, steady beat within her rib cage. Such sounds mingled with the lingering scent of desire clinging to her and the sweat drying upon her skin.
He also knew she ran her fingers thought his fur when her thoughts were in a state of disarray and she needed to make sense of them. He could practically smell, and feel, the weight of her need to tell her friends what they felt they’d discovered pressing down upon her. Crushing her with its insistence. He drew a breath and let it go on a sigh. “Rosemary--”
“We need to tell them, Henry,” she responded, her voice cutting across his own. There were times, like now, when he wondered how it was she knew what he was going to say before he did. It even still surprised him more than he felt it should have. They’d spent more than a decade together. Her insight into his mind should not have come as a surprise any longer. And yet…
“We have no proof,” he countered.
“We have the reports and the tests,” she responded, shifting so that she could prop her chin on her hand, her elbow none too gently digging into his shoulder. He suspected that she had adopted that position intentionally so that she could deliver that small bit of pain.
“We have circumstantial evidence, Rosemary,” he chided gently. It had been the same argument for days now, ever since they’d managed to put together the pieces of the puzzle that had been found scattered in her friends’ blood. It was that argument, in part, that had prompted him to suggest this weekend away. Mostly, he’d put forth the idea of a few days hidden away in a luxurious suite located within one of the top rated hotels in the city so that they two of them could simply get to know one another again. It had been a long pair of months and much had happened. Henry had felt the need to reconnect with Rosemary in the most primal and physical manner possible. She’d agreed so readily that he’d thought it meant she was willing to let go of the thoughts that had plagued her in the days following their frenzied bouts of research.
“But its all right there, Henry!” she insisted almost angrily. She rose into a sitting position, taking her share of the bedding with her to cover the tantalizing shape of her body from his view. A silent, visual rebuke. It was an action that brought a soft prick of pain to his heart. Rosemary had never hidden herself from him. Not since they’d first fallen victim to their own swelling desires. “It doesn’t make any sense to keep this from them.”
“I realize that you love your friends, Rosemary. I know that they are your family and you would do anything for them,” he said gently, slowly levering himself into a sitting position. She stared at him with eyes darkened by her anger. And that was painful enough to bear. But the confusion on her face was much worse than the anger. “I know you think I’m being unreasonable about all of this. I promise you such a thing is far from the truth. My reasoning behind not telling them is that I do not wish to hurt them and, in doing so, hurt you.”
His words, delivered in a soft voice filled with both love and regret, made her pause for much longer than he felt she might have otherwise. Then she shook her head at him and put her back against the headboard of the massive bed. “It isn’t right to lie to them, Henry. Not after everything they’ve been through. You know what we found.”
“I know we found anomalies that point to a possible conclusion,” he admitted. She shot him a glare, her eyes pinning him where he sat with the darkness in them. She opened her mouth to continue, prompting him to raise a hand in order to forestall her next words. “And it is precisely because of what they have been through that I hesitate to tell them about this. Because the truth is we simply do not know if those anomalies point to a hidden truth or if they are simply what they are. Some kind of anomaly in the blood work. And we have no way of knowing if Sinister somehow planted that anomaly there. To throw us off and leave us in confusion. To leave our friends angry and anxious to seek out retribution.”
His reasoning gave her pause and he saw logic begin to reassert itself. One of the many, many things he loved about Rosemary was her deep well of passion. It was there in the way she committed herself to her duties. The way she committed herself to her friends and her family and her team. She was a woman of passion, a trait that never failed to bring Henry’s need for her to a full boil. If she knew of all the times he’d had to walk away from her back in their early days, before they’d started dating, because he’d oftentimes found himself as randy as a young boy confronted by the object of his desire, he had no doubt she’d blush from the top of her head to the tips of her toes.
Henry pushed those thoughts aside in order to focus on how she tempered her passion with deep, rational thought. She was amazing and he was never bored by the way she managed to co-mingle her rational mind and her passionate nature. She lifted her gaze from her lap, the place it always retreated to when she was lost in thought, and met his stare head on. “You’re saying that its possible Sinister tinkered with things in the hopes it would see them go off half-cocked. So that he could attempt to capture them again.”
“That is a very distinct possibility with Mr. Sinister, Rosemary,” he told her, giving a nod of his head. The color fled from her face, leaving a touch of paleness beneath the golden hue of her skin. Hands that had been resting idly in her lap began twisting around themselves in agitation and anger. Henry wanted to kick himself. Making her fret and worry was never something he ever wanted to do to her. But she had to understand just what manner of thoughts made him hold his tongue. Because he, too, felt that his friends, his family, should be made aware of their findings.
But as they were dealing with Sinister, doing so would be foolhardy. And Henry was not going to put anyone’s feet on a path that could lead to recapture and further forced pregnancy. Such events would be akin to torture for those of his family who had been so cruelly chosen and taken. He would not be the one responsible for it happening a second time. “I do not like keeping this from them, Rosemary. But until we know for certain, one way or the other, we simply cannot burden them with this information. I will not put that weight, that guilt, upon their shoulders. Not without good cause.”
It seemed as if his words, his reasoning, finally reached her. Her shoulders slumped and she seemed to deflate before his eyes. Henry reached out and took hold of one of her hands, lifting it so that he could press a tender, barely there kiss against her palm. Then he wrapped his other hand around hers so that he held the extremity, slightly chilled with her waxing and waning emotions, between both of his. “I don’t like this, Henry. I don’t like any of it,” she whispered, her voice heavy with regret and frustration.
“Nor do I, my dear,” he replied quietly.
“I wish Haley and Dare were at home. I can’t help feeling like we’re going to lose them,” she told him. Her face, when she turned it toward him, was still pale. And her eyes were large in her face, wide and filled with no small amount of fear.
“Do not go borrowing trouble, Rosemary,” he chided, though there was no malice in his words. With slow motions, he reached out to slip an arm around her shoulders, then he tugged her into his side so that he could wrap her in his hold. “Haley and Alasdare are for more formidable than I think you give them credit for. They are quite capable of protecting themselves.”
“Normally, I’d agree with you. But neither one of them is thinking straight right now. And we nearly lost Dare,” she responded. The fear that had been in her eyes had moved to her voice, letting him know that she was very unsettled by things as they were.
“That is very true. We nearly did. But Alasdare survived. She is quite skilled at surviving. And you discredit Haley’s abilities as a leader. Given time, she will once more fall into rational thinking,” Henry assured her. Rosemary shook her head, as if she didn’t want to believe him. It prompted him to offer her a knowing smile. His hand released its hold on hers and lifted so that he could curl a finger under her chin, so that he could tip her head up just a little and look her directly in the eye. “Which means that you will be very heartened to hear that your missing teammates have been found.”
“What?” Rosemary’s voice rose upon that single word and her eyes went wide as she stared at him. “What do you mean, Henry?”
He chuckled briefly at the demanding note in her voice. “I mean that Warren called while you were availing yourself of the whirlpool tub to let us know that he heard from Scott. He and the others are in Scotland, heading to a small village that does not apparently to exist on any map, because Remy seems to have it on authority that this village is where Haley and Alasdare have gone to ground.”
“Scotland?” Rosemary echoed, her face bearing an expression of the puzzlement that had been in that single word. “What are they doing in Scotland? I don’t think either of them know anyone in Scotland.”
“Warren said Scott expressed the same sentiment. We know Alasdare’s mother is from England. And she apparently still has family in the London area. But there are no accounts of family in Scotland, which might have explained how Alasdare ended up there. Haley’s arrival could be easily explained by having tracked Alasdare to her present location,” Henry told her.
“That makes sense,” Rosemary nodded. She was deep in thought, the worry and fear from moments ago all but buried under the expression she wore. The one that came when she was giving careful consideration to new information. “Haley made it her personal mission to ensure that nothing happened to Dare after she almost died. She would absolutely do everything in her power to track her down and keep things from getting bad.”
“Haley shoulders too much responsibility,” Henry said with a sigh.
“Mmm. She does,” Rosemary agreed with a faint nod. “But that’s part of what makes her a good team leader.”
“It does. But such a tactic comes with its own disadvantages.” Henry knew that well enough. He’d seen such things in action over the years. It was one of the things that made Scott an excellent team leader. It was also part of the reason he came across as hard and something of an asshole. He had always taken the weight of the world onto his shoulders without care for how it would affect him.
“Did Warren say when Scott thought they’d be coming home?” Rosemary asked. It was a pleasant turn of the topic, and she couldn’t quite hide the excitement she felt.
“The men have not spoken with Haley or Alasdare yet,” he told her.
“Oh,” she replied. Some of the excitement left her and she seemed to deflate before his eyes. “They’re going to have a hard time with that. Dare is too stubborn for her own good. And Haley thinks neither Scott nor Johnny wants anything to do with her anymore. Its going to take a miracle to convince her that such isn’t the case. And its going to take several more to convince them to come back.”
“Faith, my love,” Henry told her. It was plain to hear that she didn’t think the men would be able to accomplish such things. He tugged her a little closer, leaning down to gently press a kiss to her head. “Do not deny the power of persuasion the men have. And do not underestimate just how much Haley and Alasdare need them. Have faith that things will work out.”
“Easy for you to say,” she told him, looking up at him with an expression that was equal parts hope and disbelief. “You’ve never been on a team with Dare. She’s the most stubborn person I know. And Haley is hurt enough that she might not believe anything either Scott or Johnny tells her.”
“You make valid points, Rosemary. You do know your teammates and friends better than I. But I know my teammates and friends better than you do. So I believe we shall have to simply wait and see what happens.” he said. There was, perhaps, a smug smile upon his face. Because he was certain, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Scott would accomplish what he’d set out to do. He was confident that Remy and Logan would accomplish what they’d set out to do. And that was to convince the women they held deep in their hearts that their love was real. That it ran deep and strong. And that they could not live without those they held most beloved in their hearts. What he knew of Johnny suggested that Haley’s husband would be of a same mind as Scott.
Rosemary’s friends did not stand a chance against that much need and want.
She stared up at him a moment, a faint smile tilting the corners of her mouth up. “You believe they’ll do it. Don’t you?
“When it comes to love, my dear, I believe that anything is possible,” he responded, his voice a low and gentle growl in the silence of the beautifully appointed bedroom.
“You’re a softee,” Rosemary accused, her voice heavy with warmth.
“If you want to call me a softee because I believe that our friends will all find the happiness they truly deserve, then I fully deserve such a title,” he replied easily. If the shoe fit…
Rosemary stared at him for several long moments, her eyes bright in the dim light. There was a faintly contemplative look in them that soon enough cleared away to become light and gentle and filled with that softest of emotions. “I love you, Henry. I don’t know what I would do without you,” she finally whispered. Her words were sweet and gentle, filled with the depth of the emotions she held for him. Henry smiled at her, reaching out with one hand in order to once more tip her face up toward his.
“And I love you, Rosemary. I dare not contemplate what my life would be, were you not in it,” he whispered. He saw it the moment the hints of fear that had come with his words registered with her, saw the way she frowned at him ever so slightly. Before she could ask him about it, or offer some method of reproach, he leaned down so that he could take her mouth with his. And he was, perhaps, a bit rougher with the kiss than he should have been. But he couldn’t quite help himself.
Because he remembered, in vivid detail, just how ill she’d been. How close she’d come to death before he and Reed had been able to find a way to stop the spread of the poison that her own bloodstream had become. He remembered how frightened he’d been that he wouldn’t be good enough or smart enough to solve the riddle of her illness before it took her from him. Because he was weak and he did not know what he would have done if she’d slipped away from him. And he didn’t want to hear her make the claim that nothing had happened to her.
Something had happened to her. And it had nearly cost him everything he held dear.
So he plundered her mouth with more force than he’d initially intended. He took what he wanted and needed from her, tongue delving deep into her mouth. Fangs grating the sensitive flesh of her lips until she whimpered and writhed in his hold. And still he pressed on, delivering fevered punishment in the way he kissed her. In the way he held her. In the way he loved her.
He never wanted to feel that helpless and lost again. He, of all people, knew how fragile and precious life was. And he’d always known that there would come a day when one of his friends would not make it back. He’d thought himself prepared for such an event. But that had been before he’d completely lost his heart to the warm and sweet contradiction that was the woman in his arms. Rosemary was steady and rational and calm, always thinking things through before acting. She was intelligent and passionate. But she was also fierce and loyal and so many other things that drew Henry toward her as a moth to a flame. He loved her with all his being and, were something to ever happen to her, he wasn’t certain he would ever recover from such an event.
He was a weak, greedy soul. And he poured that weakness and greed into the way he took her down to the mattress. The way he plundered her mouth with his lips and his tongue. The way he reminded her, again and again and again, with his teeth that she was his. And the way he took her with his own body, his cock long and hard and thick and aching as he drove it into her again and again and again. And again.
She was his home and his light, his reason for rising from the bed every morning. She was his very life. And he used lips and hands and body to remind her of that very fact. To leave his mark upon her soul. The way she’d left her own upon his so long ago.
~*~*~*~*~
The staff lounge was as quiet as ever. Jehnna had never seen anyone come here other than Jean, Warren, Sam, and herself. It made her wonder if anyone ever used it anymore of it had been abandoned entirely. Of course, she had to think that Jean had made it clear that she was going to be using it at certain times and had asked people not to intrude when doing so. Either way, it was quiet and peaceful. And Jehnna was nervous.
It had been a couple of weeks since the first time she’d come to this room, Sam leading her gently as if afraid he’d hurt her. Or rouse her anger. She owed him so many apologies. Looking back, she could see that. It spoke to just how much help Jean and the therapist she was seeing had been that she could recognize such a thing. She’d been so angry that she’d lashed out at her friends. People she considered her family. She’d made everyone’s lives terrible and those were things she would regret until the day she took her last breath. She owed so many apologies to so many people. Her goal was to start that today.
She knew that it would take so much more therapy than she’d already had to get her back to a place where she could live with herself. And she knew it wasn’t going to fix all of her issues. She’d have to work at those constantly for the rest of her life. But she needed to try to get back to something akin to normal. Whatever that was now. Funny how Morgan’s words came back to haunt her today, considering what she wanted to attempt.
“Try to relax, Jehnna. I’m here for you. Sam is here for you. And Warren is going to be here for you, too,” Jean said gently. The woman smiled at her, a look that was equal measures of reassurance and sadness. The sadness had been there a lot lately. Jehnna knew it was because of Scott. She wished she could help Jean with the sadness the way the other woman had helped her with the anger. But Jehnna was in territory she was very unfamiliar with.
“I appreciate that, Jean. And all you’ve done for me so far,” Jehnna replied steadily.
“I’m happy to help,” Jean returned. She gave Jehnna a considering look for a moment, her mouth turning down just a little. “Are you sure you’re ready for this? You haven’t been in therapy for very long. There’s no shame in taking your time to deal with everything.”
“I need to do this,” Jehnna replied, her tone firm with her conviction. She knew things weren’t going to be easy. But she had to try. She had to start repairing the damage she’d caused.
“I’m happy you want to do the right thing, honey,” Sam said, one hand patting her knee gently. “But you don’t need to force it. Everyone will understand if you need more time.”
“You’re so sweet, Sam,” she said, turning to look at him. And he was. He had been there with her every step of the way, offering her words of support. And his strength. She was lucky to have him and she thought, maybe just a little, that she didn’t really deserve him. “But I need to start now. I feel like, if I don’t, I’ll never be able to make things right.”
Sam gave her a look she recognized well. It was the one he used when he thought she was being stubborn about something. And maybe she was. But she couldn’t explain to him just how deep the guilt ran. Just how horrible she felt about treating her family the way she had. She was the reason why Dare, and then Haley, had run. Because she’d spit on their kindness and paid them back by calling them whores. Every time she thought about that day, her chest actually physically hurt. Because she’d lashed out at her family in blind rage. And the whole experience had been like being a prisoner in her own body. She’d kind of seen her actions from a distance. And she’d tried to stop those ugly, hurtful words from coming out of her mouth. But she’d been unable to do so.
Not that she had any excuses for her actions. Those were her words, spoken in her voice. And those thoughts had come from her brain. So she’d obviously felt such things were truth on some level. It sucked admitting such a thing. But there was nothing for it now. Her therapist had told her that things would be hard until they weren’t anymore. And accepting that she’d thought and said such terrible things to people she loved was as hard as it got.
She was drawn from her musings by the knock upon the door. The sound echoed around the room for a second or two before the panel opened to allow the last members of this get together into the lounge. Warren stood with Morgan, a faint smile on his face. He motioned with his head, suggesting silently that Morgan enter the room. She looked hesitant, which was only fair, and it seemed she crossed the threshold grudgingly. Jehnna watched her come. She felt that spike of jealousy that came when Morgan was with Warren, and she did everything she could to stamp it down ruthlessly. Because the anger boiled just under the surface, and it wanted to be set free.
Jehnna hated it. She hated the vile, almost oily feel of her anger as it shifted restlessly inside of her. She hated how it turned her into a person she didn’t know. She just hated it, because that wasn’t her. She had to wonder how Dare could stand always being angry.
Morgan took a seat in one of the chairs while Warren settled on the bar stool near the wall. She could see the confusion on Morgan’s face, along with some apprehension. Jehnna didn’t blame her. She’d be a little leery of what was going to happen here after the last time she’d been in the same room with someone who had been mean and hurtful to her. A voice whispered to her that Morgan had earned it because she’d stolen Warren away. Jehnna forced that voice aside, slipped into a breathing exercise the therapist had taught her to help push the anger aside. The exercise wasn’t perfect. It didn’t stop every bout of anger Jehnna had. But it stopped enough that she felt like she’d made progress already.
“I know you’re curious about why we’re here, Morgan,” Jean said, breaking the uncomfortable silence that had started filling the space between everyone. Morgan shifted her attention to the other woman, giving Jehnna the opportunity to study her teammate. Back in the early days, Morgan had always seemed larger than life. She’d never settled long with one boy and had seemed to prefer Dare’s company to many of the young men she’d gone on dates with. In those days, to Jehnna, she’d seemed to know exactly who she was and what she wanted. But the person Jehnna was looking at now was nothing like that image. There was hesitancy cloaking her. It was accompanied by confusion and fear and loss.
Those were much the same emotions that Jehnna was struggling with. And seeing it on Morgan made Jehnna wonder, for the first time since the day they’d woken up in Beast’s medlab, if this was how all of them had felt. She hadn’t seen enough of Haley and Dare to know for certain, but she was willing to bet that it had been the same kind of existential crisis for them as it had been for Jehnna. And apparently Morgan. Just how much had the incandescent anger blinded her to?
“Warren didn’t tell me why you wanted to see me,” Morgan said, her voice quiet. Jehnna didn’t miss the brief glance Morgan sent her way, as if worried that simply mentioning Warren would see her flying off the handle. God, how much trouble had her temper caused? She wasn’t sure what she’d do if she couldn’t repair the rifts she’d caused.
“I asked you to meet us here, Morgan, on behalf of Jehnna,” Jean continued. One of her hands gestured toward the sofa where Jehnna sat. Morgan again glanced at Jehnna before turning back to Jean. It wasn’t an auspicious start to this meeting. Jehnna wanted to be hurt, but she knew that she’d earned her friend’s distrust and confusion.
“I feel like Jehnna made her position pretty clear the last time we talked,” Morgan replied. There was very little to read in her voice and, again, Jehnna reminded herself that she’d earned this kind of treatment.
“I said terrible things the last time we were in a room together,” Jehnna said, shifting her gaze to Jean to let her know she would take over. Jean relaxed back in her head, but not before letting Jehnna know mentally that Jean would be there to help if the need arose. Jehnna offered her a smile, then turned back to Morgan. Her teammate held herself very still, as if she was a prey animal trying very hard to avoid the notice of a predator. “I was horrible and mean to you and to the others. And I’m so sorry.“
Morgan stared at her a moment, nothing to see on her face. Jehnna thought she might be trying to figure out if this was legitimate or not. Or maybe she was searching for what she most wanted to say. Whatever it was Morgan said, Jehnna would listen. It was the only way they were going to find some kind of peace after what she’d done.”You called us all whores, Jehnna,” Morgan said, her voice quiet. That didn’t stop Jehnna from hearing the faint touches of hurt that colored the other woman’s words. “You said Dare hadn’t suffered any trauma. You more or less called her a liar to her face. I don’t know if an apology will fix that.”
“I know,” Jehnna nodded. “I know I was horrible to all of you. And I know that my apologies probably won’t mean anything. But I still want to make them. Because I mean it. I am so sorry.”
There was skepticism on Morgan’s face, which was understandable. Jehnna didn’t blame her one bit. This whole thing had to look odd to her. It hadn’t been Jehnna’s intention to apologize so early. She’d wanted to wait until everyone was together so she could offer her apologies to everyone at the same time. And even her therapist had said that apologizing would help heal some of the trauma. Along with forgiving herself for the things she felt she’d failed at.
It was just hard to sit back and let this whole thing fester. Morgan had avoided her ever since that disastrous meeting. Hell, Jehnna hadn’t seen Haley or Dare between the meeting and the time they’d left. So it was obvious they’d been avoiding her, too. And that hurt. Not that Jehnna blamed them. She’d have done the same thing. But they’d been so close once. They’d been a tight-knit family that had relied on one another. They’d joked and teased like brothers and sisters often did. And she’d ruined it with her callous words and her callous treatment.
That voice popped up again, the one that tried to turn her words and thoughts around so that everything was someone else’s fault. It tried to tell her that Morgan and the others had earned everyone of those words and the treatment that had come with them. It tried to convince Jehnna that she was the victim and she’d done nothing wrong. And Jehnna took a breath again, then another, and slowly forced that voice to go away. Forced that anger that came with it back into the box where she’d been putting it. Because the voice was wrong. The anger was wrong.
She was allowed to be angry about what had happened. Her therapist had explained it to her. That her anger wasn’t bad. It was just misplaced and misdirected. Jehnna hadn’t really understood what that meant. Until Jean had helped her relive those moments when her anger had taken over and left her blind to everything else. The meeting with the girls. That moment in the conference room. She’d seen them in her mind’s eye, seen a person she didn’t know and had never met before. And she’d felt so much shame at her behavior. That version of her, that Jehnna, was horrible and she never wanted to be that person again.
“I know I’m not better yet. But I’m working on it,” Jehnna said, giving her attention back to Morgan. Her words, though, were meant for the other people in the room with her, too. “Jean’s been helping me work through the tangle of emotions so that I can think around them again. And my therapist has been helping me deal with the trauma and the guilt and all that other stuff that came about because of Sinister. Its going to take a while before I’m back to what might be considered normal. But I want you to know that I will continue working toward that. I will get better.”
“I’m happy for you, Jehnna. Really,” Morgan replied, though she really didn’t sound like she was all that happy.
“I know its going to take a lot of time to rebuild the trust we once had. To rebuild our friendship. I’m committed to doing the work so that we can get back to where we were before,” Jehnna told her teammate. She glanced around the room, took in the look on everyone else’s faces. Jean was giving her a soft, encouraging smile. So was Sam. Their faith in her was much needed and it bolstered her courage. Warren’s expression was a mix of emotions. There was pride there, along with more faith. And there was also a lingering sadness that had been there in recent days. She offered him a tiny smile. “I don’t blame you, you know. Neither one of you. I see now that some of my anger stemmed from my ability to understand.”
“It wasn’t easy for you, Jehnna,” Warren replied. There was tenderness in his voice, which was still brushed with that same sadness.
“It wasn’t easy for any of us. But I made it worse by accusing Morgan of stealing you. Which was terrible. Because, honestly. How could she not fall in love with you? You’re an angel,” she reminded him, her voice warm and friendly. His smile grew wider. And it lost some of the sadness. Not all, but enough.
“Jesus, Jehnna,” Morgan said, a faint smile tweaking the corners of her mouth upward. “That sounds just like your journal entries from when we were still students. You were so sappy then. I never thought I’d be glad to hear it again. I think I missed it.”
“I missed it, too,” Jehnna told her. She offered Morgan a smile to hide the fact that she wanted to cry. This was so hard, because she had to keep reminding herself that she’d made her choice, too. She loved Sam just like she loved Warren. And while she wanted both of them in her life, she wasn’t wired that way. She didn’t understand how Morgan could want relationships like that, but that didn’t give her the right to make Morgan or anyone else feel bad that they did. Jehnna had come to the conclusion that she was as old fashioned as Sinister had implied. And she was pretty much okay with that. And she knew that she would, some day, be okay with the fact that Warren wanted something more. Something different.
“Its going to take more work than this,” Morgan warned. There was a serious look on her face and she seemed to be on the verge of pulling into herself again. “Its going to take more than what’s gone on here to make things better. They’ll never be right because you can’t take back what you said. But you can make them better. But I’m easier to convince than Haley or Dare will be.”
“You always were,” Jehnna responded, a faint smile on her face to let the other woman know she was teasing. For a moment, Morgan’s expression didn’t change and Jehnna worried she’d misjudged the atmosphere. But then Morgan chuckled and shook her head.
“You have a point,” she conceded. A moment later, the laughter was gone. Morgan turned to look at Jean, her expression almost blank. “I know you’ve been working with her. I know you’ve seen what’s going on inside of her head. I want to know if she’s being honest or if this is some kind of snow job. Because I can’t do that again. If this is a joke, it’ll destroy what few ties still exist between the team. And I won’t be part of helping her destroy them.”
Jean glanced toward Jehnna, her gaze intent as she studied her. Jehnna understood where Morgan was coming from. It was fair of her to be hesitant and cautious. Jehnna had been a real bitch to her friends. So it made sense that Morgan would be wary of this sudden about face. For her part, Jehnna didn’t fidget or anything while Jean looked at her. She kept her mind relaxed, in case Jean decided she needed to dip into her head to be sure of her answer. But that didn’t happen. After several moments, Jean returned her attention to Morgan. “She’s serious, Morgan. She wants to do whatever it takes to rebuild bridges between you and the rest of the team.”
Morgan mulled that statement over for a moment, then rose to her feet with a nod of her head. Then she glanced at Jehnna. “If you plan on rebuilding bridges, I suggest you find a damn good contractor. Because its going to take a lot of work.”
She was out the door a moment later. Jehnna glanced from Jean to Sam to Warren. Warren offered her a smile and rose to his feet. “She’s right, Jehnna. This was a good start. But its going to take more. More time. More work. More everything,” Warren told her. His smile grew wider. “But I have faith in you. You’re capable of amazing things when you put your mind to it. You can do this.”
He closed the distance between them and leaned down to press a kiss to her forehead. Then he was out the door. Jehnna took a deep breath, held it a moment, then let it go. She’d hoped this meeting with Morgan would have gone better. It could have gone better. But it also could have gone worse. She’d made a little bit of headway. And that was more than she’d had when she’d walked into the room earlier. Morgan was right. It was going to take so much more work. She needed to come up with a plan. Jehnna rose to her feet, eager to get started. “Thank you, Jean. I appreciate you helping me set this up,” she offered the other woman.
“You’re welcome, Jehnna. I’m glad I could help,” Jean replied. Sam got to his feet and moved to the door, holding it open for Jehnna. She offered him a smile and stepped out into the hallway.
Yes. Morgan was right and this would take work. But Warren was right, too. Jehnna could absolutely do this.
