Among the Strong
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marysuevirusTitle: Among the Strong
Chapter Thirty Four: To Tell the Truth
Fandom: the Marvel universe
Rating: 18 and up
Warnings: graphic violence, language, sex, dark themes, anything else i can toss in.
Disclaimer: the recognizable characters and places contained herein are the property of Marvel. i'm merely borrowing for the sake of entertainment. no money is being made from this venture. Haley belongs todazzledfirestar Morgan belongs toginevra Roxxy belongs tonanaeanaven Jehnna belongs to silverfox_chan and Dare belongs to me. the concept and title of The Mary Sue Virus are used with permission from dazzledfirestar .
Author's Notes: this is almost entirely Daz's fault. okay. so it really isn't. its actually almost 100% my fault. Daz just did a whole lot of encouraging. this fic is going to be kind of dark, so please keep that in mind while reading.
Among the Strong - the index
His mind was a blur of thoughts and emotions, all of them his own. Despite Dare being cradled in his arms, there was nothing coming off her. Not a stray emotion to be found. Not a single sensation, either. It wasn't like the wall he'd come up against time and again in the past week. This was like a gaping hole. A void. He didn't want to think what that meant. And why was she so cold? Dare had never been cold. Not even when Creed had left them naked and caged, when he'd used her so thoroughly that she couldn't remember her name, had she ever been this cold.
What the fuck was going on?
Annoyance bit into him hard. He didn't think he should move very fast. Dare was unconscious and definitely in labor. He could feel the contractions against his torso as he moved. He couldn't tell how intense they were through touch alone, but he didn't think it was a good sign that he could feel them simply by holding her. And he didn't think breaking into a run and jostling her around would be good for her labor. So he forced himself to keep it at a fast walk. And he seethed with every step he took.
It shouldn't have been like this. He should have been there with her the whole damn time. She shouldn't have cut herself off from him like she had. He still didn't know or understand why she'd do such a thing. How long had she been sitting in the gazebo, in labor and unable to get to the medlab? Would she have still been there in the morning had Faye not come and gotten him?
All kinds of thoughts were assaulting him and he didn't like a damn one of them. There was definitely something wrong, something Faye hadn't told him. And he was going to find out what it was. Hopefully from Dare. But he'd have it from Faye if it came to that.
Far too much time passed between the moment he picked Dare up to the moment the door to the medlab came into view. His temper had climbed to frightening heights. Worry and fear had climbed right along side of it so that he was a roiling miasma of emotions. Dare hadn't stirred even though he'd spoken to her and called her name and made some threats that he just might have find time to make good on later. When she'd recovered. For now, she was still unconscious and cold and he knew that wasn't a good sign.
True to her word, Faye had gone to Henry because he was waiting for them when Remy pushed through the door and into the medlab. Remy was more than a little disappointed that she hadn't waited around because he wanted to ask her what the hell was going on. He had no doubt she knew what was happening. Not that he'd really expected her to be there. She never had manifested for very long. But it would have been fucking wonderful to have some answers to his questions.
"Put her there," Henry instructed, one hand motioning to a freshly prepped bed. His gaze was locked tight on Dare's face, a look of deep concern in his eyes. Remy suddenly wanted to ask some of those questions now because it was obvious Henry knew something. But he did as he was told, settling Dare on the bed carefully. She was his main focus, more important than finding out what was going on. There would be time enough for that later, at any rate. Even before he'd finished his task, Roxxy was joining them with a hospital gown in hand.
"Can you help me get her changed, Remy?" she asked, her voice quiet. It was a soothing bit of peace in the turmoil of his mind and his soul. He nodded and allowed Roxxy to lead the way. Most of his help involved holding Dare up in some way so that Roxxy could pull this over her head or that down her legs. By the time they'd gotten her into the hospital gown, Dare's eyes were trying to open. "Relax, Remy. She's in good hands," Roxxy offered as she moved to gather up a list of supplies Henry was rattling off to her.
"I know," Remy told her. He moved to a chair positioned next to the bed and took a seat, then reached out to take hold of Dare's hand. He almost dropped it again when the rush of emotions and sensations hit him. It was more than he'd felt from her in days and it was enough to bowl him over. But he weathered through the storm and, gradually, everything leveled out until he could hear his own thoughts again. Until her hand, limp and cold, was just a hand again.
He held that hand tightly and refused to let go, no matter what stray emotion came with it.
He was aware, on some level, that Henry and Roxxy were there. That Henry was performing his examinations and that Roxxy was helping him. He was aware that both of them were quiet and reserved, far more serious than he thought the delivery of a baby should warrant. It made him wonder, briefly, if they knew something he didn't. Something he should know. But his attention was focused on Dare, on the way her eyelids would shift slightly, as if she was making the effort to open them, before falling still again. He could feel the fuzzy edge of consciousness as it pressed closer and closer to her. She would wake soon. He was sure of it.
It was the silence that finally brought his attention their way. Beast was merely watching him, waiting for the opportune moment. It was the look in Roxxy's eyes, however, that told him that this wasn't going to be easy at all. Remy tightened his grip on Dare's hand, making note that the fuzz in Dare's brain seemed to have grown stronger and thicker in only seconds. Apprehension trailed a ticklish finger down the length of his spine and he had to suppress the urge to shudder. Maybe instead of using his charm to get information from Dare, he'd beat the shit out of her in order to get the information.
"Dere a problem," he said softly. It wasn't a question. It was a statement. Because that was the only thing that could explain the look on Roxxy's face. The regret he saw in her eyes. The fact that she looked as if she was on the verge of tears.
"There is a problem," Henry confirmed. His voice was subdued. Remy shifted his attention Dare's way. She was still on the bed, her eyelids no longer fluttering and shifting. The void he'd sensed earlier had returned. It was larger than before, a gaping, yawning pit of blackness that seemed intent on swallowing her whole. He hadn't even realized her emotions had slid away from him.
Remy took a breath, doing his best to mentally prepare himself. He tightened his grip on Dare's hand again. A part of him hoped her fingers would squeeze down on his and turn Henry's words into a lie. But such a thing did not happen. Her hand stayed limp in his and the cold he'd felt earlier seemed to be getting worse. "Tell me what going on," he said finally, his voice steady and even.
A look passed between Henry and Roxxy, one that felt as if it lasted too long. There was a sense of urgency leaking from Roxxy, suggesting that the problem was growing by the moment and there wasn't much time to deal with it. Finally, Beast let go a soft sigh but he nodded at her and took a step back. Roxxy moved closer to the bed, finally sitting on the edge so she could face him. He watched her gaze shift to Dare a moment, studying her intently for a handful of seconds. When she turned back to him, there were tears gathering in the corners of her eyes.
"She's... not strong enough to give birth, Remy," Roxxy began. The hesitation in her sentence told him she'd planned on saying something else. "Her pulse is slow, weak. Thready. Respiration is shallow."
Roxxy paused. Remy could see that she was trying to find the words, trying to find the easiest ones to stomach. And she was failing. He didn't need her, or Beast, to spell it out for him. He understood well enough what she was saying. "Dat why she so cold," he whispered.
"Whatever she's been doing to keep you and Logan out, to stay hidden... Its taken its toll. Its sucked nearly all of the energy out of her. She doesn't have the strength to push during delivery," she told him. She'd said energy. Not life. Even though that's what she'd meant. For a moment, his anger returned. She'd been killing herself, in the most literal sense, to keep him out of her life. Why? What had he done? Roxxy's hand settling on the one that held Dare's hand brought him back to the here and now. "We feel its likely she won't even be conscious during delivery."
"You need to perform a cesarean," Remy said bluntly.
"We do," Henry confirmed. "Dare has been in labor for some time now. Long enough that it is becoming dangerous to both her life and the life of the baby to allow it to continue any longer. A cesarean is the fastest and safest way to deliver the baby. For both mother and child. And we will need your permission to perform the procedure."
Remy glanced from Roxxy to Henry and frowned. "You should be askin' Logan. Not me," he responded.
"While Dare and Logan are a couple, they aren't married. And, to my knowledge, Dare has not made him her medical proxy," Henry told him. "Also, you and she have been in a relationship nearly as long as she and Logan. There is the fact, too, that this is your baby. I do not think Logan will be upset if you give consent."
"Dis gon' save her?" he asked, loss trying to creep its way into his heart. He ruthlessly quashed it. There was no room for loss. They weren't going to lose her. He wasn't going to lose her. He'd do whatever it took to keep her alive.
"We can't be sure, Remy," Roxxy said, her voice holding apology. She gripped his hand tightly before continuing. "But we'll do everything we can."
"Do it. Whatever it take." He lifted his gaze to Henry. "Save dem both."
"Very well," Henry nodded. He studied Remy for a few seconds, then gave a slight nod as he seemed to come to some decision. "There is something you can do to help. You are not required to do so, but it may perhaps give Dare a reason to fight."
Henry had offered that statement, as if he thought there was a chance Remy would say no. Didn't he realize that there wasn't anything in the world he wouldn't do to convince Dare to fight? Didn't he realize Remy'd give up his own life if it would help? "What you need me to do?" he asked, determination and intent in his voice. He wasn't giving either one of them up without a fight.
"Speak to her during the procedure. There is some research that suggests speaking to unconscious patients can be beneficial for them. Of course, the main focus of said research was, and is, coma patients. But there is no reason to think that it would be any less effective in this situation." Henry informed him.
"Jus' talk? Dat all?" Remy asked.
"Just talk to her, Remy. Tell her how you feel about her. Tell her how you feel about the baby. Just... tell her," Roxxy confirmed. She glanced toward the bed and stared a moment, then returned her gaze to Remy's face. He could see she wanted to cry, as if she blamed herself for this. "Tell her how we all feel about her."
"I can talk," he said.
"Good. Rosemary and I will make everything ready," Henry told him. Beast nodded at Roxxy and, after she stood from the bed, the two of them started across the room. Remy turned his attention to Dare and stared at her face. He didn't know why she'd nearly killed herself avoiding him, but he wasn't going to let her get away with it. They wanted him to talk to her? He'd talk to her. He'd tell her everything. Every last thing he felt. How much he needed her. How much he wanted to watch their child grow up with her. He was going to talk her ear off.
"Another thing, Remy," Henry's voice cut across his musings. Remy glanced up so that he could look at the other man. "I realize your relationship with religion is, at best, hesitant. But, should you be feeling particularly Catholic at the moment, there are at least a half dozen saints you could address some prayers to."
He and Roxxy were gone a moment later, leaving Remy to consider doing just that.
~*~
"What the hell has been going on here?" Johnny asked. And not for the first time. The decision had been made, after Dare's departure and Remy's arrival, that the adults needed some time to talk. So they'd managed to somehow convince Kurt, who had stopped by to check on Dare, to take the children off to play with the rest of Purple Team's kids in... where ever they were keeping them. It had taken some work. Spencer had been a little dick about it, while Cassie had made it clear she wanted to know what was going on with Aunt Dare, too. Preston and TJ hadn't wanted to leave Haley's side and had needed extra bribery to get them to agree.
Between the battle with her children and the growing tension in the suite, Haley's head was about to split open. And she couldn't take anything to stave off the headache because she didn't want to pass it to Emilia in her breast milk. Goddamn it, she wanted this evening to end and she wanted it to end soon.
"Why does Dare look like a zombie?" There was more demand in Johnny's voice this time
"She's been shutting everyone out," Scott finally answered. Haley thought he looked about as pained about all this as she was. At least he could take a goddamn ibuprofen.
"That doesn't explain the way she looked," Johnny responded.
"Scott doesn't mean Dare's been locking herself away, Johnny," Haley began. She didn't miss the way his expression flickered ever so slightly at the mention of the other man's name. She wanted to chide him on his behavior and apologize all at the same time. But she didn't have the energy and it wasn't important. So she put it aside and explained what Scott meant. "The night we got back, Dare managed to slip out of the medlab without anyone seeing her leave."
Johnny frowned at that. He knew how open the medlab was.
"And then she somehow managed to hide her scent so Logan couldn't track her. She shut off the link with Remy so he couldn't find her using it. She literally cut herself off," Haley explained.
"How is that possible?" Johnny asked. His voice was filled with confusion, but it did nothing to disguise the worry.
"We don't know. This is nothing Dare's ever done before," Haley admitted. "Part of the reason I asked her to move into the suite with me is so that I could keep an eye on her. When she agreed, I hoped it meant she would start letting her barriers down. But she refused to even look at Remy earlier. And the fact that she said she didn't sleep when I know she was asleep is worrisome."
"She's going to crash and burn and it won't be pretty," Johnny said. Haley felt the ripples of his unease as they spread through the link. His unease mirrored her own. And Scott's. The sensations left her unsettled and jittery. Haley got to her feet and paced around behind the couch. Her instincts were screaming at her, telling her that something was very wrong. But she didn't know where to even begin. If neither Remy nor Logan could find Dare, she didn't have any hope of doing so. That meant her options were slim to none.
It was possible that the Professor or Jean could find Dare. But she didn't want to approach either one of them with that request. She didn't trust the Professor to actually help and she didn't think Jean would be willing to help, considering Haley had recently given birth to the other woman's husband's child. Maybe Morgan or...
"What about Faye?" Scott asked, as if reading her mind. Haley turned to look at him. Even Johnny gave Scott his attention. "She's been linked to Dare for a long time. Maybe she can find her for you?"
"You're assuming we can get Faye to show up. She was cut off from both Morgan and Dare. I don't know how that affected her and she might not be able to manifest yet." Haley sighed and shook her head. "I can't help but feel like this is somehow my fault."
"You know that isn't true, Haley," Johnny replied immediately. She turned to look at him and found him staring at her with understanding and sympathy. "You can't blame yourself for how Dare's behaving in the face of trauma any more than you can blame yourself for being taken by the horsemen. And I know you're blaming yourself for that."
"But--"
Her words were cut off by a sharp knock at the door. She shared a look with Johnny and then Scott. It was Scott who stood from his seat and moved to the door, opening it to reveal Morgan on the other side. She carried Kayla in her arms and Warren stood behind her. Both looked slightly confused and Haley could see that Morgan didn't look as if she'd been feeling well. "Sorry to arrive unannounced, but Faye told us to come," Warren explained.
Cold fingers of dread traced up and down Haley's spine, spreading icy fear through her. "Please," Haley said, motioning with one hand for them to come in. She watched as Warren gently escorted Morgan into the room, then helped her settle on the couch. Even before Scott could think to push the door closed, Sam and Jehnna were framed in the opening. Sam looked serious, Talia a tiny bundle in his arms, and Jehnna looked... thinner?
"Faye paid you a visit, too?" Scott asked as they followed Warren and Morgan in. Then he made a point of checking the hallway beyond the door before closing it.
"I did," Faye said, just suddenly appearing by the door. She looked as serious as Haley had ever seen her. It wasn't a good sign. Haley carefully made her way around the couch and settled in the corner. She had a feeling she needed to be sitting down for whatever it was Faye had to say. Not that Haley didn't have an idea already.
"Dare?" she asked softly. There as no hiding or disguising the fear in Haley's voice and she didn't try. The question saw Morgan and Jehnna both turning their heads so that they were staring at Haley.
The expression on Faye's face softened somehow, despite still being serious. Haley saw fear there. And worry. This was not a Faye she was used to seeing. She might have wondered about it but her heart was in her throat as she waited to find out what was going on. "It is. I'm so sorry. I didn't see what she was doing until it was too late."
"Faye? What's going on? What's wrong with Dare?" It was Morgan who asked the question. Haley could hear confusion and fear in her voice. For a moment, Haley had the uncharitable thought that Morgan would've known something was wrong if she'd bothered to check in on her friend. But she pushed the thought away almost immediately. They'd all failed Dare in that respect because they'd all been so caught up in their own problems.
"I... " Faye started and stopped almost immediately. As if she didn't have the words with which to answer. As if she didn't want to answer. It felt, very suddenly, as if there were rocks in Haley's stomach because it hurt. "Dare is in labor. And Henry isn't sure she'll survive."
"What?" Morgan asked. This time, there was disbelief to be heard in her voice. "This is some sick joke. It has to be. Tell me you're joking, Faye."
"I wish I could, Morgan. I'm sorry." There was sadness and contrition in the double's voice. Faye looked to be on the verge of tears. A glance from the corner of Haley's eye showed that both Warren and Sam had settled a hand on Morgan and Jehnna's shoulders from behind the couch where they'd decided to stand. An offer of support. An offer Haley didn't have. An offer she sincerely wanted and needed. For once, she didn't think she could be the strong as stone leader of Purple Team that she always was.
"Is it the baby?" Sam asked softly.
"No. This is none of the baby's doing," Faye assured them.
"Then what? Is she sick? What's going on?" Morgan demanded. The fear had grown, pushing out all traces of confusion and disbelief.
"She isn't sick. You know she has been hiding from Remy and from Logan?" Faye asked, her attention focused solely on Morgan.
"I'd heard, but I didn't put any stock in it," Morgan said. It sounded to Haley as if she still didn't want to put any stock in it.
"Its true, Morgan. All of it. She found a way to hide her scent from Logan so he couldn't track her. And she cut off the link she shares with Remy so that he couldn't use it against her. She's managed to keep both of them out of her head for the past week. And doing so has taken a toll on her," Faye explained. "She's used all of her energy to keep them out."
"You mean she's dying because she used up all of her energy," Scott clarified.
"Yes," Faye nodded.
"But... Why?" This question from Warren. He was shocked by the news. A glance around the room told Haley everyone else felt the same way. Except for herself and Scott, of course. Because they'd seen her recently. And Dare's behavior earlier, when she and Haley had been talking alone, had been odd. Even for Dare. It had been the same when she'd joined Haley, Johnny, Scott, and the kids after a nap she swore she hadn't taken.
Again, for a moment, Haley was taken with the urge to tell all of them off for not checking in on her. They all knew what kind of past Dare had and they all knew how she reacted to trauma. But she said nothing, bit her tongue on the anger simmering in her chest. Truth was, she hadn't checked in nearly as much as she should have. Because, like the others, she'd had so many things on her mind. Once again, Dare had slipped through the cracks. And, unlike the other times, she was paying a high, high price for it.
"I don't know why she chose to shut herself off from everyone," Faye admitted. She didn't sound happy about the fact. "And I couldn't see what she was doing until it was far too late to stop her. Perhaps, if I'd seen her intentions sooner, I could have stopped her."
Silence settled uncomfortably around them, like an ill-fitting sweater that itched and scratched with no relief. It only last a moment or two, then was broken by soft, faint sobbing. Everyone turned to look at Morgan, who had her head bent over Kayla as she cried. Warren came around the couch in order to kneel before her, his hands reaching up to cup her face gently between them. "Hey. There's no need to cry. Dare's strong. She'll survive."
"I can feel her again. But she's barely there," Morgan said, her words watery and thick. Haley fought the urge to cry. It wouldn't do any good. And she was sure there would be no support for her from anyone.
"Remy is with her," Faye told them quietly. "Doing his best to anchor her to this world. To make her understand that she has too many people here who love her to leave us."
"What about Logan?" Haley asked. She turned her attention on Morgan's twin and frowned. "Shouldn't he be there for her? Shouldn't he be here?"
"Logan is aware of what's happening. And he has elected to spend his time where it is needed most," Faye told her. Haley frowned, trying to puzzle that one out. Wasn't his time best spent with Dare? She was his partner, after all.
"He's telling Dee what's happening. Isn't he?" The question came from Jehnna. Haley was slightly surprised by the fact that she'd given consideration to the fact. It wasn't that Jehnna didn't see things like that. She just tended to be wrapped up in her own things more often than not.
"He is. Dee needs her mother. Now more than ever. And Logan doesn't want her to hear any of this from anyone else but himself." Faye was quiet a moment, her concentration seemingly turned inward. Then she gave them all a look. "I have to go. I'm needed elsewhere."
She was gone a moment later.
There was no silence this time. The room was filled with the soft sound of Morgan sobbing. She had her head bent over Kayla, her hair hiding her face from view. Warren remained kneeling before her, his hands resting on her cheeks while his forehead rested against the top of Morgan's head. Haley thought she could hear him whispering to the other woman.
"So. What do we do?" Johnny asked, his voice layered with several different emotions. Haley glanced at him to find him looking around the room, as if he was seeking the answers on the faces of those who were there.
"We hope. And we pray," Scott said. There was quiet determination there. The stubbornness that lived in Scott Summers, leader of all the X-Men. His gaze slid around the room. Haley was sure of it, even if she couldn't see it happening behind the lenses of his glasses. "Dare is family. We aren't going to give up on her. So we hope. And we pray," he repeated. His belief was complete and solid. He offered everyone some of his hope and his belief. Haley took hold of it with both hands.
Scott heaved a sigh and shook his head. "And we wait."
~*~
Logan stared through the glass on the door, taking a moment to watch his children as they interacted with the rest of Purple Team's kids. Dee, sitting next to Tam in the corner, her phone held out before them. No doubt the two of them were watching videos or something. They were laughing over whatever it was that held their attention. Liam stood with Spencer, the two of them obviously in the midst of some heated discussion. Liam looked both annoyed and eager. Jess was playing dolls with Ashling and Narcissa, the three girls off in a corner by themselves. Cam and Ken sat at a table, a pile of books before them. They were both looking at the one they each held.
There was a faint ache near his heart as he let himself take each of his children in. He saw so much of Dare in them. So much of her. She'd touched his life in ways he couldn't ever begin to name. Given him things he'd never thought possible. And now...
All of it was in jeopardy.
Faye had come to him, all apologies and tears, and told him about Dare. About how she'd damn near killed herself in her attempt to keep him away from her. Him and Remy. He'd tried to assure her that he laid no blame at her feet, but Faye hadn't really listened to any of it. She'd kept crying. Kept apologizing. Kept babbling about not being enough to save Dare. Whatever the hell that meant.
He'd taken a few minutes to process everything after she'd left. Spent time trying to figure out how he felt about it. Trying to absorb it. He'd managed to find her through their bond with Faye. She'd been so distant. Almost completely gone. That was hard to swallow because she'd always been so much larger than life in his head. There'd been weight and presence to the feel of her in his head. And now, there was almost nothing.
And when he was done feeling sorry for himself, he'd gotten up and gone in search of his oldest.
And she was his. Dare had made sure of that when she'd been nothing more than a bundle of blankets and diapers. Never Creed's. Always his. That fact was going to make what he had to do so much harder.
Logan tugged his cell phone from his pocket and tapped out a quick message to her. Nothing special. Look up. The moment she got it, she did just as those two words had said. She looked up and saw him, her face suddenly all smiles. He didn't have to do anything more to see her heading his way. She obviously said her goodbyes to Tam before she came, leaning in to give the boy a hug before she got up and headed toward the door.
Logan took a step back as she came out into the hallway. When she threw herself at him, as she did every time she hugged him, he wrapped his arms around her and held her to him tightly for a few moments longer than necessary. When he let her go, he motioned down the hallway with his head. "Let's go fer a walk."
"Okay, Da," she replied. She headed in the direction he'd motioned, taking the lead even though she hadn't asked where they were going. Not that he really knew where they were going. He hadn't gotten that far when he'd gone to fetch her. He figured he could make the decision after the fact.
In the end, Dee chose the location. He followed her up one hall and down another until she had them standing right in front of the main entrance. He opened the door for her and let her go out first. He joined her a moment later, closing the door quietly behind them. And then they were down in the grass, walking aimlessly across the grounds.
It was dark out, light from various windows painting golden squares on the grass beneath their feet. It was quiet. Peaceful. Logan sure as hell didn't want to break the silence between them. Let the news wait a while longer. He'd let Dee enjoy the night while she could.
"What do you want to talk about, Da?" she asked sometime later. They'd gone around the mansion and found themselves on the shore of the lake. There was a hint of moonlight playing off the surface of the water, silvery light riding the faint ripples like a surfer riding the waves. When Logan glanced at Dee, it was to find she was staring at him. Her expression was serious. Almost as if she knew.
"Its about yer ma," he started. He'd had it planned out before he'd gone in search of Dee. He'd picked out everything he was going to say. But now, in the face of her curiosity, his words were failing him. And wasn't that always a goddamn problem for him? Drawing a breath, he reached out and laid his hand against her cheek. "She's in labor."
"That means I'll have a new sister soon," she replied.
"It does. But you need ta know... There are some problems," he told her gently.
Dee stared at him a moment, her gaze intent on his face and her expression open but serious. Finally, she heaved a sigh. "This has to do with the thing that was draining her. Doesn't it?"
Her words startled him. He shouldn't have been surprised because Dee had been picking up things like crazy in the past week. But he was surprised. Because she seemed to know more than he did. And because this was the first time he'd heard about anything draining Dare. "Mebbe. Probably," he responded. "Yer Aunt Faye told me that yer ma doesn't got the strength to have the baby without help. So Hank is gonna perform a c-section. You know what that is, right?"
"Yes. He's going to make a cut in her belly and bring the baby out that way," Dee replied.
"That's right. Normally, its a pretty standard procedure. But with yer ma not having any energy, that makes it a little trickier."
Dee was silent, considering his words for a short while. Jesus Christ, there was something wrong with the idea that he had to prepare his twelve year old daughter for the possibility that her mother might not survive giving birth to a baby she wasn't supposed to be having.
"Uncle Henry doesn't know if she'll make it because her energy is so low, right?" Dee asked. She was so calm, so serene. Not like the last time, when she hadn't been able to stop crying and she'd made herself sick.
"That's right," Logan nodded. Just thinking of it made him want to crawl in a bottle and drink until he couldn't feel anything anymore. He'd already lost her once. He couldn't do it again. "Look, I know this ain't fair of me, but I wanted ta let ya know what was going on. I need ya to figure out what ta tell yer brother and sisters. In case it all goes bad. You know I ain't good with words."
Dee stared at him a moment before smiling at him. It wasn't one of her big, bright, beaming smiles that she seemed to always give. This was a softer smile. A more secretive smile. A gentler thing. The kind of smile an adult would give. Then she leaned in and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "It'll be okay, Da. Mum's gonna be fine," Dee assured him.
"Look, I know you wanna believe nothing bad'll ever happen to me or yer ma." He'd barely started speaking before her smile grew a little wider.
"Mum's strong, Da. She'll survive. She's got a lot to live for. She loves you. And she loves Uncle Remy. Aunt Morgan... All of us. She loves her friends and her family. She'll come back to us. Like she came back to us before."
"Dee..."
"Mum loves you, Da. She'll be back," she assured him. He saw it then, the knowing look in her eye. She wasn't saying Dare would survive because that's what she needed to tell herself. She was saying it because she knew.
"Don't know if I deserve her love," he remarked, turning to look out over the lake. "Yer ma's been through a lot and I shoulda done better by her. I figured, if she wasn't havin' problems, then it was okay. I shoulda known better."
"Mum feels the same about you," Dee assured him. Logan turned a questioning look her way. Dee smiled at him. The one he recognized as her mischievous smile. "She feels like she doesn't deserve you because you put up with all her shit and never complain about any of it."
"Yer visions tell ya that, too?" he asked gruffly. Sounded like Dare.
"No. Mum told me that herself," Dee said, then laughed when he frowned at her. The laughter lasted a few moments, then she sobered up and gave him a look. "Mum will be fine, Da. Its going to take her some time, but she'll be fine. She loves you so much and she doesn't think she deserves your love in return. You gotta prove her wrong."
Logan stared at Dee, eyes searching her face as if he'd never seen her before. Maybe, in some ways, he hadn't. She still wore the same face. There was the same youth and amusement in her eyes. But it was tempered by knowledge now. He reached up and cupped her face between his hands. "Yer growing up so fast, Dee."
She gave him a look of confusion. "Aren't I supposed to grow up, Da?"
"Of course yer supposed to grow up. But you ain't gotta do it so fast. Yer still my little girl. I'm not ready to give that up yet." With those words, he tugged her into his hold and hugged her tight. Dee squirmed and struggled against his embrace but she laughed the whole time. More importantly, she hugged him back.
When he finally let her go, she was still laughing. She took a couple steps back and fixed him with a mock glare that would do her ma proud. Then she stuck her finger in his face and shook it at him. Repeatedly. "You're being mushy, Da. Stop it."
"Whatever you say, Dee," he responded. She smiled at him, laughed brightly, then turned and looked out over the lake. Logan did the same, a sense of peace settling into his chest. He'd started his conversation with Dee with dread filling his heart. Now it was light and buoyant. And it was all thanks to the girl at his side. He didn't deserve her ma and he sure as hell didn't deserve her. But he sure as hell wasn't going to give either one of them up without a fight.
"Love ya, kid."
"Love you, too, Da."
Chapter Thirty Four: To Tell the Truth
Fandom: the Marvel universe
Rating: 18 and up
Warnings: graphic violence, language, sex, dark themes, anything else i can toss in.
Disclaimer: the recognizable characters and places contained herein are the property of Marvel. i'm merely borrowing for the sake of entertainment. no money is being made from this venture. Haley belongs to
dazzledfirestar Morgan belongs toginevra Roxxy belongs tonanaeanaven Jehnna belongs to silverfox_chan and Dare belongs to me. the concept and title of The Mary Sue Virus are used with permission from dazzledfirestar . Author's Notes: this is almost entirely Daz's fault. okay. so it really isn't. its actually almost 100% my fault. Daz just did a whole lot of encouraging. this fic is going to be kind of dark, so please keep that in mind while reading.
Among the Strong - the index
His mind was a blur of thoughts and emotions, all of them his own. Despite Dare being cradled in his arms, there was nothing coming off her. Not a stray emotion to be found. Not a single sensation, either. It wasn't like the wall he'd come up against time and again in the past week. This was like a gaping hole. A void. He didn't want to think what that meant. And why was she so cold? Dare had never been cold. Not even when Creed had left them naked and caged, when he'd used her so thoroughly that she couldn't remember her name, had she ever been this cold.
What the fuck was going on?
Annoyance bit into him hard. He didn't think he should move very fast. Dare was unconscious and definitely in labor. He could feel the contractions against his torso as he moved. He couldn't tell how intense they were through touch alone, but he didn't think it was a good sign that he could feel them simply by holding her. And he didn't think breaking into a run and jostling her around would be good for her labor. So he forced himself to keep it at a fast walk. And he seethed with every step he took.
It shouldn't have been like this. He should have been there with her the whole damn time. She shouldn't have cut herself off from him like she had. He still didn't know or understand why she'd do such a thing. How long had she been sitting in the gazebo, in labor and unable to get to the medlab? Would she have still been there in the morning had Faye not come and gotten him?
All kinds of thoughts were assaulting him and he didn't like a damn one of them. There was definitely something wrong, something Faye hadn't told him. And he was going to find out what it was. Hopefully from Dare. But he'd have it from Faye if it came to that.
Far too much time passed between the moment he picked Dare up to the moment the door to the medlab came into view. His temper had climbed to frightening heights. Worry and fear had climbed right along side of it so that he was a roiling miasma of emotions. Dare hadn't stirred even though he'd spoken to her and called her name and made some threats that he just might have find time to make good on later. When she'd recovered. For now, she was still unconscious and cold and he knew that wasn't a good sign.
True to her word, Faye had gone to Henry because he was waiting for them when Remy pushed through the door and into the medlab. Remy was more than a little disappointed that she hadn't waited around because he wanted to ask her what the hell was going on. He had no doubt she knew what was happening. Not that he'd really expected her to be there. She never had manifested for very long. But it would have been fucking wonderful to have some answers to his questions.
"Put her there," Henry instructed, one hand motioning to a freshly prepped bed. His gaze was locked tight on Dare's face, a look of deep concern in his eyes. Remy suddenly wanted to ask some of those questions now because it was obvious Henry knew something. But he did as he was told, settling Dare on the bed carefully. She was his main focus, more important than finding out what was going on. There would be time enough for that later, at any rate. Even before he'd finished his task, Roxxy was joining them with a hospital gown in hand.
"Can you help me get her changed, Remy?" she asked, her voice quiet. It was a soothing bit of peace in the turmoil of his mind and his soul. He nodded and allowed Roxxy to lead the way. Most of his help involved holding Dare up in some way so that Roxxy could pull this over her head or that down her legs. By the time they'd gotten her into the hospital gown, Dare's eyes were trying to open. "Relax, Remy. She's in good hands," Roxxy offered as she moved to gather up a list of supplies Henry was rattling off to her.
"I know," Remy told her. He moved to a chair positioned next to the bed and took a seat, then reached out to take hold of Dare's hand. He almost dropped it again when the rush of emotions and sensations hit him. It was more than he'd felt from her in days and it was enough to bowl him over. But he weathered through the storm and, gradually, everything leveled out until he could hear his own thoughts again. Until her hand, limp and cold, was just a hand again.
He held that hand tightly and refused to let go, no matter what stray emotion came with it.
He was aware, on some level, that Henry and Roxxy were there. That Henry was performing his examinations and that Roxxy was helping him. He was aware that both of them were quiet and reserved, far more serious than he thought the delivery of a baby should warrant. It made him wonder, briefly, if they knew something he didn't. Something he should know. But his attention was focused on Dare, on the way her eyelids would shift slightly, as if she was making the effort to open them, before falling still again. He could feel the fuzzy edge of consciousness as it pressed closer and closer to her. She would wake soon. He was sure of it.
It was the silence that finally brought his attention their way. Beast was merely watching him, waiting for the opportune moment. It was the look in Roxxy's eyes, however, that told him that this wasn't going to be easy at all. Remy tightened his grip on Dare's hand, making note that the fuzz in Dare's brain seemed to have grown stronger and thicker in only seconds. Apprehension trailed a ticklish finger down the length of his spine and he had to suppress the urge to shudder. Maybe instead of using his charm to get information from Dare, he'd beat the shit out of her in order to get the information.
"Dere a problem," he said softly. It wasn't a question. It was a statement. Because that was the only thing that could explain the look on Roxxy's face. The regret he saw in her eyes. The fact that she looked as if she was on the verge of tears.
"There is a problem," Henry confirmed. His voice was subdued. Remy shifted his attention Dare's way. She was still on the bed, her eyelids no longer fluttering and shifting. The void he'd sensed earlier had returned. It was larger than before, a gaping, yawning pit of blackness that seemed intent on swallowing her whole. He hadn't even realized her emotions had slid away from him.
Remy took a breath, doing his best to mentally prepare himself. He tightened his grip on Dare's hand again. A part of him hoped her fingers would squeeze down on his and turn Henry's words into a lie. But such a thing did not happen. Her hand stayed limp in his and the cold he'd felt earlier seemed to be getting worse. "Tell me what going on," he said finally, his voice steady and even.
A look passed between Henry and Roxxy, one that felt as if it lasted too long. There was a sense of urgency leaking from Roxxy, suggesting that the problem was growing by the moment and there wasn't much time to deal with it. Finally, Beast let go a soft sigh but he nodded at her and took a step back. Roxxy moved closer to the bed, finally sitting on the edge so she could face him. He watched her gaze shift to Dare a moment, studying her intently for a handful of seconds. When she turned back to him, there were tears gathering in the corners of her eyes.
"She's... not strong enough to give birth, Remy," Roxxy began. The hesitation in her sentence told him she'd planned on saying something else. "Her pulse is slow, weak. Thready. Respiration is shallow."
Roxxy paused. Remy could see that she was trying to find the words, trying to find the easiest ones to stomach. And she was failing. He didn't need her, or Beast, to spell it out for him. He understood well enough what she was saying. "Dat why she so cold," he whispered.
"Whatever she's been doing to keep you and Logan out, to stay hidden... Its taken its toll. Its sucked nearly all of the energy out of her. She doesn't have the strength to push during delivery," she told him. She'd said energy. Not life. Even though that's what she'd meant. For a moment, his anger returned. She'd been killing herself, in the most literal sense, to keep him out of her life. Why? What had he done? Roxxy's hand settling on the one that held Dare's hand brought him back to the here and now. "We feel its likely she won't even be conscious during delivery."
"You need to perform a cesarean," Remy said bluntly.
"We do," Henry confirmed. "Dare has been in labor for some time now. Long enough that it is becoming dangerous to both her life and the life of the baby to allow it to continue any longer. A cesarean is the fastest and safest way to deliver the baby. For both mother and child. And we will need your permission to perform the procedure."
Remy glanced from Roxxy to Henry and frowned. "You should be askin' Logan. Not me," he responded.
"While Dare and Logan are a couple, they aren't married. And, to my knowledge, Dare has not made him her medical proxy," Henry told him. "Also, you and she have been in a relationship nearly as long as she and Logan. There is the fact, too, that this is your baby. I do not think Logan will be upset if you give consent."
"Dis gon' save her?" he asked, loss trying to creep its way into his heart. He ruthlessly quashed it. There was no room for loss. They weren't going to lose her. He wasn't going to lose her. He'd do whatever it took to keep her alive.
"We can't be sure, Remy," Roxxy said, her voice holding apology. She gripped his hand tightly before continuing. "But we'll do everything we can."
"Do it. Whatever it take." He lifted his gaze to Henry. "Save dem both."
"Very well," Henry nodded. He studied Remy for a few seconds, then gave a slight nod as he seemed to come to some decision. "There is something you can do to help. You are not required to do so, but it may perhaps give Dare a reason to fight."
Henry had offered that statement, as if he thought there was a chance Remy would say no. Didn't he realize that there wasn't anything in the world he wouldn't do to convince Dare to fight? Didn't he realize Remy'd give up his own life if it would help? "What you need me to do?" he asked, determination and intent in his voice. He wasn't giving either one of them up without a fight.
"Speak to her during the procedure. There is some research that suggests speaking to unconscious patients can be beneficial for them. Of course, the main focus of said research was, and is, coma patients. But there is no reason to think that it would be any less effective in this situation." Henry informed him.
"Jus' talk? Dat all?" Remy asked.
"Just talk to her, Remy. Tell her how you feel about her. Tell her how you feel about the baby. Just... tell her," Roxxy confirmed. She glanced toward the bed and stared a moment, then returned her gaze to Remy's face. He could see she wanted to cry, as if she blamed herself for this. "Tell her how we all feel about her."
"I can talk," he said.
"Good. Rosemary and I will make everything ready," Henry told him. Beast nodded at Roxxy and, after she stood from the bed, the two of them started across the room. Remy turned his attention to Dare and stared at her face. He didn't know why she'd nearly killed herself avoiding him, but he wasn't going to let her get away with it. They wanted him to talk to her? He'd talk to her. He'd tell her everything. Every last thing he felt. How much he needed her. How much he wanted to watch their child grow up with her. He was going to talk her ear off.
"Another thing, Remy," Henry's voice cut across his musings. Remy glanced up so that he could look at the other man. "I realize your relationship with religion is, at best, hesitant. But, should you be feeling particularly Catholic at the moment, there are at least a half dozen saints you could address some prayers to."
He and Roxxy were gone a moment later, leaving Remy to consider doing just that.
~*~
"What the hell has been going on here?" Johnny asked. And not for the first time. The decision had been made, after Dare's departure and Remy's arrival, that the adults needed some time to talk. So they'd managed to somehow convince Kurt, who had stopped by to check on Dare, to take the children off to play with the rest of Purple Team's kids in... where ever they were keeping them. It had taken some work. Spencer had been a little dick about it, while Cassie had made it clear she wanted to know what was going on with Aunt Dare, too. Preston and TJ hadn't wanted to leave Haley's side and had needed extra bribery to get them to agree.
Between the battle with her children and the growing tension in the suite, Haley's head was about to split open. And she couldn't take anything to stave off the headache because she didn't want to pass it to Emilia in her breast milk. Goddamn it, she wanted this evening to end and she wanted it to end soon.
"Why does Dare look like a zombie?" There was more demand in Johnny's voice this time
"She's been shutting everyone out," Scott finally answered. Haley thought he looked about as pained about all this as she was. At least he could take a goddamn ibuprofen.
"That doesn't explain the way she looked," Johnny responded.
"Scott doesn't mean Dare's been locking herself away, Johnny," Haley began. She didn't miss the way his expression flickered ever so slightly at the mention of the other man's name. She wanted to chide him on his behavior and apologize all at the same time. But she didn't have the energy and it wasn't important. So she put it aside and explained what Scott meant. "The night we got back, Dare managed to slip out of the medlab without anyone seeing her leave."
Johnny frowned at that. He knew how open the medlab was.
"And then she somehow managed to hide her scent so Logan couldn't track her. She shut off the link with Remy so he couldn't find her using it. She literally cut herself off," Haley explained.
"How is that possible?" Johnny asked. His voice was filled with confusion, but it did nothing to disguise the worry.
"We don't know. This is nothing Dare's ever done before," Haley admitted. "Part of the reason I asked her to move into the suite with me is so that I could keep an eye on her. When she agreed, I hoped it meant she would start letting her barriers down. But she refused to even look at Remy earlier. And the fact that she said she didn't sleep when I know she was asleep is worrisome."
"She's going to crash and burn and it won't be pretty," Johnny said. Haley felt the ripples of his unease as they spread through the link. His unease mirrored her own. And Scott's. The sensations left her unsettled and jittery. Haley got to her feet and paced around behind the couch. Her instincts were screaming at her, telling her that something was very wrong. But she didn't know where to even begin. If neither Remy nor Logan could find Dare, she didn't have any hope of doing so. That meant her options were slim to none.
It was possible that the Professor or Jean could find Dare. But she didn't want to approach either one of them with that request. She didn't trust the Professor to actually help and she didn't think Jean would be willing to help, considering Haley had recently given birth to the other woman's husband's child. Maybe Morgan or...
"What about Faye?" Scott asked, as if reading her mind. Haley turned to look at him. Even Johnny gave Scott his attention. "She's been linked to Dare for a long time. Maybe she can find her for you?"
"You're assuming we can get Faye to show up. She was cut off from both Morgan and Dare. I don't know how that affected her and she might not be able to manifest yet." Haley sighed and shook her head. "I can't help but feel like this is somehow my fault."
"You know that isn't true, Haley," Johnny replied immediately. She turned to look at him and found him staring at her with understanding and sympathy. "You can't blame yourself for how Dare's behaving in the face of trauma any more than you can blame yourself for being taken by the horsemen. And I know you're blaming yourself for that."
"But--"
Her words were cut off by a sharp knock at the door. She shared a look with Johnny and then Scott. It was Scott who stood from his seat and moved to the door, opening it to reveal Morgan on the other side. She carried Kayla in her arms and Warren stood behind her. Both looked slightly confused and Haley could see that Morgan didn't look as if she'd been feeling well. "Sorry to arrive unannounced, but Faye told us to come," Warren explained.
Cold fingers of dread traced up and down Haley's spine, spreading icy fear through her. "Please," Haley said, motioning with one hand for them to come in. She watched as Warren gently escorted Morgan into the room, then helped her settle on the couch. Even before Scott could think to push the door closed, Sam and Jehnna were framed in the opening. Sam looked serious, Talia a tiny bundle in his arms, and Jehnna looked... thinner?
"Faye paid you a visit, too?" Scott asked as they followed Warren and Morgan in. Then he made a point of checking the hallway beyond the door before closing it.
"I did," Faye said, just suddenly appearing by the door. She looked as serious as Haley had ever seen her. It wasn't a good sign. Haley carefully made her way around the couch and settled in the corner. She had a feeling she needed to be sitting down for whatever it was Faye had to say. Not that Haley didn't have an idea already.
"Dare?" she asked softly. There as no hiding or disguising the fear in Haley's voice and she didn't try. The question saw Morgan and Jehnna both turning their heads so that they were staring at Haley.
The expression on Faye's face softened somehow, despite still being serious. Haley saw fear there. And worry. This was not a Faye she was used to seeing. She might have wondered about it but her heart was in her throat as she waited to find out what was going on. "It is. I'm so sorry. I didn't see what she was doing until it was too late."
"Faye? What's going on? What's wrong with Dare?" It was Morgan who asked the question. Haley could hear confusion and fear in her voice. For a moment, Haley had the uncharitable thought that Morgan would've known something was wrong if she'd bothered to check in on her friend. But she pushed the thought away almost immediately. They'd all failed Dare in that respect because they'd all been so caught up in their own problems.
"I... " Faye started and stopped almost immediately. As if she didn't have the words with which to answer. As if she didn't want to answer. It felt, very suddenly, as if there were rocks in Haley's stomach because it hurt. "Dare is in labor. And Henry isn't sure she'll survive."
"What?" Morgan asked. This time, there was disbelief to be heard in her voice. "This is some sick joke. It has to be. Tell me you're joking, Faye."
"I wish I could, Morgan. I'm sorry." There was sadness and contrition in the double's voice. Faye looked to be on the verge of tears. A glance from the corner of Haley's eye showed that both Warren and Sam had settled a hand on Morgan and Jehnna's shoulders from behind the couch where they'd decided to stand. An offer of support. An offer Haley didn't have. An offer she sincerely wanted and needed. For once, she didn't think she could be the strong as stone leader of Purple Team that she always was.
"Is it the baby?" Sam asked softly.
"No. This is none of the baby's doing," Faye assured them.
"Then what? Is she sick? What's going on?" Morgan demanded. The fear had grown, pushing out all traces of confusion and disbelief.
"She isn't sick. You know she has been hiding from Remy and from Logan?" Faye asked, her attention focused solely on Morgan.
"I'd heard, but I didn't put any stock in it," Morgan said. It sounded to Haley as if she still didn't want to put any stock in it.
"Its true, Morgan. All of it. She found a way to hide her scent from Logan so he couldn't track her. And she cut off the link she shares with Remy so that he couldn't use it against her. She's managed to keep both of them out of her head for the past week. And doing so has taken a toll on her," Faye explained. "She's used all of her energy to keep them out."
"You mean she's dying because she used up all of her energy," Scott clarified.
"Yes," Faye nodded.
"But... Why?" This question from Warren. He was shocked by the news. A glance around the room told Haley everyone else felt the same way. Except for herself and Scott, of course. Because they'd seen her recently. And Dare's behavior earlier, when she and Haley had been talking alone, had been odd. Even for Dare. It had been the same when she'd joined Haley, Johnny, Scott, and the kids after a nap she swore she hadn't taken.
Again, for a moment, Haley was taken with the urge to tell all of them off for not checking in on her. They all knew what kind of past Dare had and they all knew how she reacted to trauma. But she said nothing, bit her tongue on the anger simmering in her chest. Truth was, she hadn't checked in nearly as much as she should have. Because, like the others, she'd had so many things on her mind. Once again, Dare had slipped through the cracks. And, unlike the other times, she was paying a high, high price for it.
"I don't know why she chose to shut herself off from everyone," Faye admitted. She didn't sound happy about the fact. "And I couldn't see what she was doing until it was far too late to stop her. Perhaps, if I'd seen her intentions sooner, I could have stopped her."
Silence settled uncomfortably around them, like an ill-fitting sweater that itched and scratched with no relief. It only last a moment or two, then was broken by soft, faint sobbing. Everyone turned to look at Morgan, who had her head bent over Kayla as she cried. Warren came around the couch in order to kneel before her, his hands reaching up to cup her face gently between them. "Hey. There's no need to cry. Dare's strong. She'll survive."
"I can feel her again. But she's barely there," Morgan said, her words watery and thick. Haley fought the urge to cry. It wouldn't do any good. And she was sure there would be no support for her from anyone.
"Remy is with her," Faye told them quietly. "Doing his best to anchor her to this world. To make her understand that she has too many people here who love her to leave us."
"What about Logan?" Haley asked. She turned her attention on Morgan's twin and frowned. "Shouldn't he be there for her? Shouldn't he be here?"
"Logan is aware of what's happening. And he has elected to spend his time where it is needed most," Faye told her. Haley frowned, trying to puzzle that one out. Wasn't his time best spent with Dare? She was his partner, after all.
"He's telling Dee what's happening. Isn't he?" The question came from Jehnna. Haley was slightly surprised by the fact that she'd given consideration to the fact. It wasn't that Jehnna didn't see things like that. She just tended to be wrapped up in her own things more often than not.
"He is. Dee needs her mother. Now more than ever. And Logan doesn't want her to hear any of this from anyone else but himself." Faye was quiet a moment, her concentration seemingly turned inward. Then she gave them all a look. "I have to go. I'm needed elsewhere."
She was gone a moment later.
There was no silence this time. The room was filled with the soft sound of Morgan sobbing. She had her head bent over Kayla, her hair hiding her face from view. Warren remained kneeling before her, his hands resting on her cheeks while his forehead rested against the top of Morgan's head. Haley thought she could hear him whispering to the other woman.
"So. What do we do?" Johnny asked, his voice layered with several different emotions. Haley glanced at him to find him looking around the room, as if he was seeking the answers on the faces of those who were there.
"We hope. And we pray," Scott said. There was quiet determination there. The stubbornness that lived in Scott Summers, leader of all the X-Men. His gaze slid around the room. Haley was sure of it, even if she couldn't see it happening behind the lenses of his glasses. "Dare is family. We aren't going to give up on her. So we hope. And we pray," he repeated. His belief was complete and solid. He offered everyone some of his hope and his belief. Haley took hold of it with both hands.
Scott heaved a sigh and shook his head. "And we wait."
~*~
Logan stared through the glass on the door, taking a moment to watch his children as they interacted with the rest of Purple Team's kids. Dee, sitting next to Tam in the corner, her phone held out before them. No doubt the two of them were watching videos or something. They were laughing over whatever it was that held their attention. Liam stood with Spencer, the two of them obviously in the midst of some heated discussion. Liam looked both annoyed and eager. Jess was playing dolls with Ashling and Narcissa, the three girls off in a corner by themselves. Cam and Ken sat at a table, a pile of books before them. They were both looking at the one they each held.
There was a faint ache near his heart as he let himself take each of his children in. He saw so much of Dare in them. So much of her. She'd touched his life in ways he couldn't ever begin to name. Given him things he'd never thought possible. And now...
All of it was in jeopardy.
Faye had come to him, all apologies and tears, and told him about Dare. About how she'd damn near killed herself in her attempt to keep him away from her. Him and Remy. He'd tried to assure her that he laid no blame at her feet, but Faye hadn't really listened to any of it. She'd kept crying. Kept apologizing. Kept babbling about not being enough to save Dare. Whatever the hell that meant.
He'd taken a few minutes to process everything after she'd left. Spent time trying to figure out how he felt about it. Trying to absorb it. He'd managed to find her through their bond with Faye. She'd been so distant. Almost completely gone. That was hard to swallow because she'd always been so much larger than life in his head. There'd been weight and presence to the feel of her in his head. And now, there was almost nothing.
And when he was done feeling sorry for himself, he'd gotten up and gone in search of his oldest.
And she was his. Dare had made sure of that when she'd been nothing more than a bundle of blankets and diapers. Never Creed's. Always his. That fact was going to make what he had to do so much harder.
Logan tugged his cell phone from his pocket and tapped out a quick message to her. Nothing special. Look up. The moment she got it, she did just as those two words had said. She looked up and saw him, her face suddenly all smiles. He didn't have to do anything more to see her heading his way. She obviously said her goodbyes to Tam before she came, leaning in to give the boy a hug before she got up and headed toward the door.
Logan took a step back as she came out into the hallway. When she threw herself at him, as she did every time she hugged him, he wrapped his arms around her and held her to him tightly for a few moments longer than necessary. When he let her go, he motioned down the hallway with his head. "Let's go fer a walk."
"Okay, Da," she replied. She headed in the direction he'd motioned, taking the lead even though she hadn't asked where they were going. Not that he really knew where they were going. He hadn't gotten that far when he'd gone to fetch her. He figured he could make the decision after the fact.
In the end, Dee chose the location. He followed her up one hall and down another until she had them standing right in front of the main entrance. He opened the door for her and let her go out first. He joined her a moment later, closing the door quietly behind them. And then they were down in the grass, walking aimlessly across the grounds.
It was dark out, light from various windows painting golden squares on the grass beneath their feet. It was quiet. Peaceful. Logan sure as hell didn't want to break the silence between them. Let the news wait a while longer. He'd let Dee enjoy the night while she could.
"What do you want to talk about, Da?" she asked sometime later. They'd gone around the mansion and found themselves on the shore of the lake. There was a hint of moonlight playing off the surface of the water, silvery light riding the faint ripples like a surfer riding the waves. When Logan glanced at Dee, it was to find she was staring at him. Her expression was serious. Almost as if she knew.
"Its about yer ma," he started. He'd had it planned out before he'd gone in search of Dee. He'd picked out everything he was going to say. But now, in the face of her curiosity, his words were failing him. And wasn't that always a goddamn problem for him? Drawing a breath, he reached out and laid his hand against her cheek. "She's in labor."
"That means I'll have a new sister soon," she replied.
"It does. But you need ta know... There are some problems," he told her gently.
Dee stared at him a moment, her gaze intent on his face and her expression open but serious. Finally, she heaved a sigh. "This has to do with the thing that was draining her. Doesn't it?"
Her words startled him. He shouldn't have been surprised because Dee had been picking up things like crazy in the past week. But he was surprised. Because she seemed to know more than he did. And because this was the first time he'd heard about anything draining Dare. "Mebbe. Probably," he responded. "Yer Aunt Faye told me that yer ma doesn't got the strength to have the baby without help. So Hank is gonna perform a c-section. You know what that is, right?"
"Yes. He's going to make a cut in her belly and bring the baby out that way," Dee replied.
"That's right. Normally, its a pretty standard procedure. But with yer ma not having any energy, that makes it a little trickier."
Dee was silent, considering his words for a short while. Jesus Christ, there was something wrong with the idea that he had to prepare his twelve year old daughter for the possibility that her mother might not survive giving birth to a baby she wasn't supposed to be having.
"Uncle Henry doesn't know if she'll make it because her energy is so low, right?" Dee asked. She was so calm, so serene. Not like the last time, when she hadn't been able to stop crying and she'd made herself sick.
"That's right," Logan nodded. Just thinking of it made him want to crawl in a bottle and drink until he couldn't feel anything anymore. He'd already lost her once. He couldn't do it again. "Look, I know this ain't fair of me, but I wanted ta let ya know what was going on. I need ya to figure out what ta tell yer brother and sisters. In case it all goes bad. You know I ain't good with words."
Dee stared at him a moment before smiling at him. It wasn't one of her big, bright, beaming smiles that she seemed to always give. This was a softer smile. A more secretive smile. A gentler thing. The kind of smile an adult would give. Then she leaned in and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "It'll be okay, Da. Mum's gonna be fine," Dee assured him.
"Look, I know you wanna believe nothing bad'll ever happen to me or yer ma." He'd barely started speaking before her smile grew a little wider.
"Mum's strong, Da. She'll survive. She's got a lot to live for. She loves you. And she loves Uncle Remy. Aunt Morgan... All of us. She loves her friends and her family. She'll come back to us. Like she came back to us before."
"Dee..."
"Mum loves you, Da. She'll be back," she assured him. He saw it then, the knowing look in her eye. She wasn't saying Dare would survive because that's what she needed to tell herself. She was saying it because she knew.
"Don't know if I deserve her love," he remarked, turning to look out over the lake. "Yer ma's been through a lot and I shoulda done better by her. I figured, if she wasn't havin' problems, then it was okay. I shoulda known better."
"Mum feels the same about you," Dee assured him. Logan turned a questioning look her way. Dee smiled at him. The one he recognized as her mischievous smile. "She feels like she doesn't deserve you because you put up with all her shit and never complain about any of it."
"Yer visions tell ya that, too?" he asked gruffly. Sounded like Dare.
"No. Mum told me that herself," Dee said, then laughed when he frowned at her. The laughter lasted a few moments, then she sobered up and gave him a look. "Mum will be fine, Da. Its going to take her some time, but she'll be fine. She loves you so much and she doesn't think she deserves your love in return. You gotta prove her wrong."
Logan stared at Dee, eyes searching her face as if he'd never seen her before. Maybe, in some ways, he hadn't. She still wore the same face. There was the same youth and amusement in her eyes. But it was tempered by knowledge now. He reached up and cupped her face between his hands. "Yer growing up so fast, Dee."
She gave him a look of confusion. "Aren't I supposed to grow up, Da?"
"Of course yer supposed to grow up. But you ain't gotta do it so fast. Yer still my little girl. I'm not ready to give that up yet." With those words, he tugged her into his hold and hugged her tight. Dee squirmed and struggled against his embrace but she laughed the whole time. More importantly, she hugged him back.
When he finally let her go, she was still laughing. She took a couple steps back and fixed him with a mock glare that would do her ma proud. Then she stuck her finger in his face and shook it at him. Repeatedly. "You're being mushy, Da. Stop it."
"Whatever you say, Dee," he responded. She smiled at him, laughed brightly, then turned and looked out over the lake. Logan did the same, a sense of peace settling into his chest. He'd started his conversation with Dee with dread filling his heart. Now it was light and buoyant. And it was all thanks to the girl at his side. He didn't deserve her ma and he sure as hell didn't deserve her. But he sure as hell wasn't going to give either one of them up without a fight.
"Love ya, kid."
"Love you, too, Da."
Tags:
- author: ladydeathfaerie,
- character: dare scott,
- character: faye lafavre,
- character: haley stone,
- character: hank mccoy,
- character: jehnna d'abo,
- character: johnny storm,
- character: logan/james howlett,
- character: morgan lafavre,
- character: remy lebeau,
- character: roxxy stewart,
- character: sam guthrie,
- character: scott summers,
- character: warren worthington iii,
- universe: marvel
(no subject)
Date: 2024-09-30 12:34 am (UTC)I have no doubt that Roxxy told Henry about her revelation. Couple that with whatever Faye told Henry and it's not a wonder they both looked so damn somber. Hopefully Remy can give Dare a reason to live. Maybe add in miracle or two from those saints Henry mentioned. Looks like Dare needs all the help she can get to survive the birth of their child.
Um, I think you missed an important part of the sentence, bb. Not that I didn't get a giggle out of the thought of Haley somehow giving birth to Scott. ;)
At least everyone (well, *almost* everyone) is together now. Damn Faye and her popping out whenever someone asks her a question. And there goes Scott being, well, Scott. Hope and pray. And wait. Something tells me that's going to be easier said than done.
Well, I'm glad that Logan is with Dee and that she seems to know that things will work out. That at least makes it easier to wait for the next chapter. ;)
Well done, bb. *smooches*
(no subject)
Date: 2024-09-30 01:19 am (UTC)oh, Roxxy absolutely told Henry about that. though i wouldn't be surprised if he'd come to that same conclusion on his own. that big brain of his never really shuts off so... i'm sure Faye told Henry as much of the truth as she was able. because she wanted to be sure he was ready for any eventuality. Dare does need some help to survive everything. she just plain needs a lot of help. but one thing at a time.
this is what happens when i get typing and don't pay attention. and i swear i re-read it so i don't know how i missed it. thanks for mentioning it. it is kind of funny. or it will be when i stop kicking myself.
mmm. Faye gathered almost everyone. and she told them what she could. and of course she left before anyone could ask questions. typical of her, i'd say. i mean... Scott's not wrong. there isn't much they can do but hope and pray and wait. they can make plans to kick her ass later, when they find out if she lives or not.
you know what? i absolutely love Logan and Dee in that bit. i really do like how he interacts with Dee. it was really kind of a sweet moment and a sweet way to end the chapter.
glad you enjoyed, bb. thanks for reading.
(no subject)
Date: 2024-10-01 01:17 am (UTC)You could have titled this one "What the fuck is going on" and it would have fit perfectly, hun. There's so much confusion throughout and you captured that perfectly.
Poor Remy. He's doing a shockingly good job of keeping shit together at this point. The feeling of time dragging as he's being so careful with her, trying to get to the medlab is heartbreaking. You can feel the frustration. And I know Hank and Roxxy are trying to not be too dire, but things seem bleak! Come on Dare! Come back to everyone!
Is this the first mass gathering since they got back? It seems that way. Too bad it's not for a better reason. Morgan's denial feels right on point. As does Haley's anger with everyone and herself. Also I think Johnny's finally getting a start of an idea of how much this stuff is fucking everyone up which is good.
Logan with Dee is always lovely, and I love that he went to deal with her directly because of how close she is with Dare. Amazing how she turns it around on him and she ends up giving him hope rather than the other way around. Though I still think Logan should go down and be with Dare once this conversation is done, he should 1. talk to the other kids and 2. get down there and help support Dare through this.
Great work, hun! (I honestly thought I hit send on this days ago... I'm sorry!)
(no subject)
Date: 2024-10-02 12:36 am (UTC)Remy is having a really not great day and this is just the cherry on the crap sundae. i think he might have hit his limit here. but yes. he is trying to keep his head in the game. he can fall apart later. when its all over and done. don't worry. Remy is going to do every thing he can to make sure she doesn't go anywhere.
i do believe it is the first mass get together since they got back. and yeah. hell of a reason for it, too. i mean, yeah. Morgan is there at the bridge over the river denial. but to be fair, so much has happened and it is super easy to lose track. and i know Haley is upset with herself for not noticing sooner or doing something or not being better. again, there is a lot going on. with everyone. i know that won't make Haley feel any better. but it makes things understandable. i do think Johnny is getting a good look at what kind of shit everyone is dealing with.
i do so love how Logan and Dee mesh with one another. i imagine making sure she knows what's going on is a priority for him. because she's as close with him as she is with her mother. she's a daddy's girl, even if it doesn't seem like it. and she's a ray of sunshine in an otherwise fairly dark chapter. i'm sure he'll be at her side sooner rather than later. and he's going to have to find those words sooner rather than later, isn't he?
thanks, hon. i'm glad you enjoyed. (no worries. its all good!)