marysuevirus | Chapter Five (Reply)

In advance, I am asking forgiveness for wallowing in my own Sue.

Title: The Mary Sue Virus
Chapter Title: Oh, no... Really?
Fandom: Harry Potter
Rating: 18+
Warnings: Graphic Sexual situations, Oral, Angst
Disclaimer: The recognizable characters in this work of fiction and the world it is set in are the property of J.K Rowling and Warner Bros. Pictures. The original characters are the property of Dazzledfirestar, Nanaea, Madapple and Polywolly, and are not to be used without the permission of those individuals. I am not making any money from this and it is purely a flight of fancy for the purpose of entertainment only.

“Wow…” Hyacinth took a long sip of her pumpkin juice as the girls sat down for breakfast. She looked across the table at her friends. “I mean… wow.” She took another big sip. Rowena was already at the Ravenclaw table and was leaning across the gap to question Issobell a little more about her experiences from the night before. They had all heard the story more times than they could count now, but something about it wasn’t sitting quite right with the girls. Finally a theory had formed in Azalea’s head.

“Maybe,” she started slowly, “We have absolutely no say in which Mary Sue we are.” She took a bite of her toast and continued. “I mean, you said that there was a moment when you felt like you’d been there before, kind of like déjà vu?” Issobell nodded. “So obviously, these characters have a history we don’t know.”

“So we should go through our rooms. Try to find anything. Photos, letters, anything like that.” Hyacinth leaned in. “But we still do have another problem.”

“What kind of Mary sue are we each in. Right.” Rowena gave up leaning across the gap and hopped over to them, sitting at the very end of the long bench. “Well, let’s see. Isobell obviously has the bang a professor thing covered.”

“Doesn’t mean she’s the only one.” Azalea piped up through a mouthful of toast. Issobell looked slightly disappointed by this. “Sorry, sweetie.” Azalea patted her back sympathetically. “What I mean is, well,” she took another bite and looked at Hyacinth and Rowena. “I wouldn’t let it stop you.” She smiled.

“Okay, so other Mary Sues.” Issobell tried to change the topic. “There’s the Malfoy idea, but we’re in Slytherin.” All three of the Slytherin girls looked down at Rowena.

“Oh no! No, no, no!” Rowena backed away slowly, scooting down further on the bench.

“You might not have a choice.” Hyacinth said thoughtfully.

“Well, what about you guys?” Rowena pulled herself back into the group. “I mean, we all know where the heart of a Slytherin Mary Sue is going to end up, don’t we.”

Isobell shook her head. “Not me! I’ve got Snape!”

Hyacinth and Azalea flashed a look of concern to each other and then turned to look at the table furthest from them. The Gryffindors. They both turned several shades of green before both shouting out a very quick. “NOT IT!”

Rowena and Issobell couldn’t quite keep their laughter in. “Like you said, you may not have a choice.” Rowena managed to say between giggles.

“Haverty!” A voice broke through the laughter and Azalea leaned in over the table to see who was calling her name. It was Draco.

“What do you want, Malfoy?” She said in her best ‘I have better things to do than talk to you’ tone.

“Practice tonight. Seven. Something about a new flying instructor.” Azalea nodded and ended the conversation by sitting back on the bench out of Malfoy’s view.

“You’re on the quidditch team?” Issobell looked at her in disbelief.

“Guess so.” Azalea hoped desperately that the knowledge that had gotten them all through their classes so far would save her from falling off a broom. But, she rationalized, if she made the house team, she must have some talent at the game. Rowena kept staring at her, a funny grin on her face. “What?”

“Oh nothing.” Rowena’s grin widened slightly and she got up and went back to the Ravenclaw table.

Before anyone could question her any further, Dumbledore stood to make some kind of announcement. Azalea couldn’t help herself. She leaned over to Issobell and Hyacinth. “Isn’t it amazing how no one dies in a Sue?” The three stifled the giggles as Dumbledore began to speak.

“We have some news this morning. It seems that Madam Hooch will be taking some time off to deal with a personal matter.” There was a swell of chatter in the hall, obviously everyone trying to figure out what kind of personal matter Madam Hooch would be dealing with. Dumbledore waited patiently for the noise to fade. “Luckily for us, this will not mean the end of the quidditch program or the first years flying lessons. We have the pleasure of welcoming back a young man whom many of our older students will remember.” Azalea suddenly and inexplicably felt her stomach knot up. The feeling only remained inexplicable for a moment as she noticed the handsome young wizard that was about to be introduced. Dumbledore drew everyone’s attention to him. “Mr. Oliver Wood.” A roar rose from the Gryffindor table and many of the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs cheered as well.

Issobell and Hyacinth turned to Azalea and both wore poorly disguised grins. “Well,” Hyacinth patted Azalea’s shoulder, “I think we found your Gryffindor.” The girls started to get up and gather their things, but Azalea was moving slower than the others.

“Think of it this way,” Rowena said as she came up behind her friend, “Save a broom, ride a…”

“Don’t even think about finishing that sentence!” Azalea spun around. She shoved a few more things into her bag. “Damnit. I forgot my Transfiguration text book. I’ve got to run back to the dorms. I’ll meet you guys in class.” Without waiting for a response, she took off out of the hall.

Issobell smiled at her friends. “Five Galleons says the Slytherin princess doesn’t come back to the dorm room tonight after practice!”