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marysuevirus2024-10-04 10:23 am
ladydeathfaerie) wrote in marysuevirus2024-10-04 10:23 am
Entry tags:
- author: ladydeathfaerie,
- character: dare scott,
- character: faye lafavre,
- character: haley stone,
- character: hank mccoy,
- character: jehnna d,
- character: johnny storm,
- character: morgan lafavre,
- character: remy lebeau,
- character: roxxy stewart,
- character: sam guthrie,
- character: scott summers,
- character: warren worthington iii,
- universe: marvel
Among the Strong
Title: Among the Strong
Chapter Thirty Five: Aftershocks
Fandom: the Marvel universe
Rating: 18 and up
Warnings: graphic violence, language, sex, dark themes, anything else i can toss in.
Disclaimer: the recognizable characters and places contained herein are the property of Marvel. i'm merely borrowing for the sake of entertainment. no money is being made from this venture. Haley belongs todazzledfirestar Morgan belongs toginevra Roxxy belongs tonanaeanaven Jehnna belongs to silverfox_chan and Dare belongs to me. the concept and title of The Mary Sue Virus are used with permission from dazzledfirestar .
Author's Notes: this is almost entirely Daz's fault. okay. so it really isn't. its actually almost 100% my fault. Daz just did a whole lot of encouraging. this fic is going to be kind of dark, so please keep that in mind while reading.
Among the Strong - the index
She was tired. No. Not tired. Exhausted. The past two days had been fraught with worry and fear and, now that there was no longer any need for either of those emotions, the adrenalin had worn off to leave her ready to drop. And that's what she planned on doing. As soon as she gave everyone an update on the situation.
Henry had tried to convince her to go to bed already. Almost as soon as they'd gotten Dare out of the surgical theater and into recovery, he'd been pushing her toward bed. She'd considered, for a couple of minutes, doing exactly that. She'd been on the razor's edge ever since her conversation with Duke the other day. Though they'd searched the entire mansion and the grounds, they'd never found Dare. She'd wanted to believe that he was being melodramatic. But she was the one who had realized that each of her friends had been dealing with the effects of their child's future horseman ability. She wasn't sure how that worked, given the children hadn't even seen Apocalypse yet. But there it was.
Part of her felt she should have sat with Dare. She felt that the other woman needed a friendly face at her side when she eventually, finally, woke up. But Henry had quashed that. He'd said he would take the first watch and sit with Dare. She wanted to think that he was doing it solely because he, like everyone else, had been worried about her. But she knew that he had other reasons. She would leave him to those reasons even though she felt that taking Dare to task so soon after nearly losing her would be cruel. Whatever it was that was going on in Dare's head, whatever it was that had pushed her to such ends, there was no reason to add to it. She'd considered telling Henry that before leaving the medlab, but she'd decided against it. There was no way he would have listened.
She should have gone to bed straight away, but there'd been too much in her head to allow her to rest. Much of it was centered on the things she'd come to believe in the past couple of days. She wasn't entirely certain what was going on, but she was certain that it was bigger than she was. The problem was, she couldn't even begin to figure out what the bigger thing was. All she knew was Sinister had used her friends in order to play god. And she also knew, if she ever met Sinister face to face, she'd play the Grim Reaper and reap his ass.
As she drew closer to the closed door of Haley's suite, she heard the soft sounds of conversation. There were several heartbeats to be heard, letting her know that she was going to find more than Haley and Emilia in that room. She heaved a sigh of relief. That would make her job so much easier. She'd be able to tell everyone the news all at once instead of having to go to two more rooms and repeat herself two more times. Anything that got her to bed faster was good for her.
"What the fuck, Haley? Why the hell do you need such a big bed?" Johnny's voice cut across the silence, loud and filled with anger. She swore she felt the entire room on the other side of the door she stood before go still, as if it held its breath as it waited for the answer. "Who the hell is sleeping in it with you?"
Shit.
She didn't knock. Instinct told her they wouldn't hear it. One hand on the door knob, she turned it and pushed the door open. The room on the other side of it was a painting come to life, because everyone was so still and silent. Her gaze swept the interior quickly, taking note of how several people were staring at Johnny in shock and surprise. Haley's cheeks were bright red and there were tears gathered in the corners of her eyes. The redhead was staring at her husband with wide eyes and it was blatantly obvious that Haley had reached the end of her rope.
"Knock it off, Johnny!" Her voice entered the room before she did, echoing loudly enough that everyone turned to look at her. Some of the anger in her words seemed to have brought a touch of sense to Johnny, because the look in his eyes held notes of regret. There was still plenty of anger in it. And sadness. But she saw the regret. "You know, as well as everyone in this room, that there's no way Haley is sleeping with anyone. And, in case you didn't know, Haley only moved into the suite this morning. So no one is sleeping in that big bed. Get your head out of your ass and apologize to your wife!"
"Rox, its okay," Haley said quietly. Roxxy turned to look at her.
"The hell it is. He's either got a big set of balls asking you that question only a couple days after giving birth or his brain is permanently set on stupid." She made sure her tone told them which one she was picking.
The look Johnny shot her was not friendly. Roxxy narrowed her gaze on him, a silent threat and warning rolled into one. "Right now is not the time to try me, asshole. I've had a bad couple of days and the fuse on my temper is short."
"You've had a bad couple of days?" Johnny asked, voice filled with disbelief and disgust. Without saying a word, he made a show of motioning first toward Haley, then toward Scott. "I've got to deal with this shit."
Roxxy didn't think anyone noticed or heard, but Haley's voice hitched in her throat at that. A glance from the corner of her eye showed her that Haley was about two seconds away from crying. Suddenly, Roxxy wasn't quite so exhausted anymore. Suddenly, she was pissed off and ready to rip Johnny Storm to shreds.
She didn't like the feeling of that anger. It was the same anger she'd felt in the Danger Room the night she'd tried to kill Scott and nearly killed Logan. She took a breath. Then another. And even more. Until the ache in her teeth passed and the feel of her fingernails biting into her palms eased back. Only then, when she was sure she could control her temper, did she level him with a look and take a few steps closer.
"This shit? That's how you refer to your wife? To my best friend?" she asked quietly. The room around her was suddenly still again, holding its breath again. "Let's talk about 'this shit'. Let's talk about how a future version of Morgan and Warren's baby nearly took my life. Let's talk about how Sinister took my friends, one of whom is your wife, captive. Let's talk about how he locked them in a room with a single partner and kept them cut off from each other. Let's talk about how, for a year, they were forced to rely on one another for companionship. For compassion. For something resembling a normal life. And let's talk about how Sinister did everything in his power to fuck all of that up."
Roxxy paused a moment and took in the sound of the hearts beating around her. All of them were beating in an irregular rhythm, faster than normal. It was fear. Even if none of them acknowledged it or admitted to it, all of them were afraid. Afraid of what had happened. Afraid of it happening again. Just afraid. She was repulsed by the stink of their fear. And enticed by it. She stomped down on that bit and returned her attention to the man standing only a short distance from her.
"Now let's talk about what this whole mess did to my friends and family," she said, voice pitched low so as to be sure he actually listened to her. "Let's talk about how no one knows where they stand anymore. How Sinister's tinkering has them questioning their relationships with their significant others and their friends. Let's talk about how he fucked with emotions so callously. And let's talk about how his actions fucked with everyone's mental health. Because its obvious you can only think about what happened to you."
"Roxxy," Haley began. She ignored the other woman for a moment.
"Jehnna is tearing herself in two, trying to reconcile the idea that she loves Sam and Warren at the same time. Because she's having a hard time with loving more than one person at a time. And she feels guilty for loving them both." Her words saw Johnny glancing toward the spot where Jehnna sat. She didn't have to look to know that the guilt Jehnna felt was plain to see on her face. She didn't have to look to know that Warren was trying to make her feel better about how things had gone between them. And she didn't have to look to know that Sam was offering Warren a silent apology.
"Morgan is torn between a new love and her old loves. And don't think that her casual appearance means that this isn't difficult for her. It took her a very long time to realize that it was okay to love Remy. I can't imagine how much it hurt to find herself falling in love with Warren and how that must have felt like a betrayal to Remy."
"Roxxy." This time, it was Morgan who spoke. This time, as with the last, Roxxy ignored her friend. Johnny needed to understand that he wasn't the only one having troubles.
"Haley lays the blame for all of this at her own feet," Roxxy continued, her tone matter-of-fact. "She believes this is all her fault. Because she wasn't strong enough. She wasn't a better leader. She didn't stop the horsemen when they stepped out of that portal. She thinks she should have done something different or better so that this shit didn't happen. She blames herself for what happened to everyone Sinister took. And for what happened to me. Despite the fact that she had no idea what happened until she got back. She blames herself for all of it, even though none of it was her fault."
Roxxy paused and crossed her arms over her chest. "Finally. Let's talk about Dare. Let's talk about how years and years of unresolved trauma were brought to a boiling point by Sinister's fuckery. He played with her emotions for Remy. He played with all that trauma, using it as a way to push her buttons. He pushed and pushed and pushed. And what did that accomplish? She nearly fucking died tonight because she doesn't know how to process any of this shit. Because her head is so fucked up that she can't accept someone loving her now. But, hey. Its obvious that you're the only one allowed to have a hard time with what happened. Fucking grow up, Storm. Get your head out of your ass."
She paused her tired there, suddenly aware of the tension around her. It took her a second or two to realize what it was she'd said and she could have kicked herself for her callousness. Roxxy closed her eyes and took a deep breath. It was important she centered herself or she'd go on. And she'd lose the control she had on her temper. Nothing good would come of that.
So she kept to herself that the men who'd been stuck in Sinister's pocket dimension suffered from trauma and grief and a host of other things. Something told her Johnny wouldn't care about that. And, for the moment, it wasn't important anymore. What was important was giving her friends the information they needed. She turned to Haley and found the other woman was pale, hands fisted in her lap. "I'm sorry, Haley. That isn't how I wanted to address this."
"Tell me everything," Haley instructed, her voice injected with no small amount of what Roxxy had come to know as Icon's commanding tones.
"She was very weak when Remy brought her to the medlab," Roxxy said gently. "Faye had come some ten or fifteen minutes earlier to let us know he'd be bringing Dare to us. Neither of us had wanted to believe that her interpretation of the situation was correct. But when Remy arrived..."
"I thought Faye was stretching the truth," Morgan murmured.
"She wasn't. Dare was weak. Her pulse was thready. Her breathing was shallow. It didn't take Henry long to determine she'd been in labor for a while, possibly hours, and that there was no way she'd be able to assist in the delivery. She was barely conscious when Remy got there," Roxxy said.
"So Hank decided to perform a c-section," Haley said. Her voice was flat, but Roxxy knew it for the act it was. She was on the edge, ready to fall over into a chasm of despair and sorrow.
"He determined that it would be the safest course of action. For both of them," Roxxy replied.
"What happened?" This from Warren. He was settled on the couch, Morgan across his lap so he could wrap his arms around her and hold her close. She had her face pressed into his chest but it did nothing to stifle her soft sobs.
"Dare and Remy's baby was delivered a little while ago. The baby is healthy. Dare is resting comfortably," she told the room. "Henry is going to keep her in the medlab for a day or two, obviously. Until he's certain she's not in any danger. He is, at present, cautiously optimistic."
"Oh. Thank god," Haley breathed. Roxxy saw the crack that had formed over the course of the conversation. She'd seen it start and she'd watched as it had worked its way into the wall Haley had put up around her emotions, how jagged edges had formed and were widening with every new bit of information provided. And now, with the relief hitting, the crack was a gaping hole in that wall. Haley was about to fall apart in a spectacular way. She'd been holding on by a thread for too long and Dare almost dying was the last straw.
One tear fell. Then a second. Then Haley was crying full force, her face buried in her hands. Scott reacted in the blink of an eye, crossing to where she sat so he could pull her up into his arms for a hug. A hug she obviously needed desperately, because she clung to Scott like he was the only solid thing in her life. And maybe he was, because Johnny seemed to be confused about what he should do.
That only lasted a moment, though, because the very second he saw how Haley melted into Scott, his temper spiked yet again. He crossed to where they stood and physically ripped Haley out of Scott's hold, putting himself between the two.
"Keep your hands off my wife, you son-of-a-bitch!" Johnny snarled. One hand fisted and then it came up from his side. The target was obviously Scott's chin, but Scott ducked back and knocked Johnny's hand out of the air with his arm. That only pissed Johnny off more, because he wound up for a second swing.
"Johnny! That's enough!" Haley snapped, voice ringing loud in the room. It was enough to bring her husband back to the here and now. And then he was taking a few steps back from Haley. Haley, whose hands were fisted at her sides. Whose eyes flashed a deep, dark green with her anger. Whose voice rang with something deep and dark and seemed to echo off the walls with more and more volume. Whose skin almost seemed to glisten and glow.
The entire room was silent and still, all eyes locked on the two of them. As if suddenly remembering that there were other people in the room, Haley blinked and stared around her. She looked slightly confused and possibly a little ashamed. But it was there and gone in a moment when her attention returned to her husband. "I need you to go. Now. Go back to the Baxter Building. In fact, I need everyone to leave. Please."
By the time she'd finished speaking, she was ready to cry again. Sam and Jehnna were the first ones to go. Jehnna paused long enough to very gingerly lay a hand on Haley's arm. A silent offer of support, probably. Morgan and Warren went next, Morgan following in Jehnna's footsteps and putting a hand on Haley's arm.
When it became obvious that neither Johnny nor Scott seemed inclined to move, Haley frowned at them. "Please. I'm asking you very politely to leave and let me have some privacy. If I have to ask again, it won't be very polite or nice at all."
"I'll leave when he does," Johnny said, blonde head jerking in Scott's direction.
"I'm not going to leave until after you do," Scott replied. Haley's lips thinned and she looked as if she was preparing to tear into both of them.
"You can both leave now," Roxxy suggested. "I won't leave until you both do. Do not make me physically remove you." The warning held more merit with Scott than it did with Johnny because she saw the way Scott reached up to rub absently at his arm.
Johnny stood in place a moment longer, staring at her as if he didn't think she was a threat. When Roxxy returned his look with one of her own, Johnny finally heaved a sigh and headed toward the back wall. His fingers tapped at something there and, in an instant, she could see the interior of the room Haley shared with Johnny at the Baxter Building. "Call me when you make a decision," he said, then stepped through the portal. It closed without fanfare and Johnny didn't look back to see if Haley watched him leave.
"I don't want to leave you when you're in a state of distress, Haley," Scott began, and Roxxy could hear the unhappiness in his voice. "But I understand that you want and need time. Call me if you want me to help with Emilia."
With that, Scott was gone. Roxxy turned to look at her friend and wished that she dared go against Haley's wishes. But she wouldn't. Haley needed privacy and Roxxy would give it to her. "I'm going to go to bed. Call me if you need me. Henry is sitting with Dare tonight," she said, moving closer to her best friend. Like her friends before her, she laid a hand on Haley's arm. Unlike them, she offered words, too. "Please don't blame yourself. This isn't your fault. Dare's going to be okay."
Haley's sobs followed Roxxy up the hall, even after she'd shut the door to the suite when she left.
~*~
Her head was stuffed with cotton, her tongue felt heavy and dry in her mouth, and her fingers felt like helium balloons in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade. She had to be on the really, really good drugs.
On the tail of that thought came the annoying beep that sounded in time with the slow, heavy thump of the heart in her chest. There was the faint pinch and pull of tape. An ache that was dull and distant. Each of those individual things could be fit together like the pieces of a puzzle, but her brain was too fuzzy to figure out what the picture was. All she knew is she wanted to sleep. Forever. She was so tired.
As if hearing her, sleep reached for her. Tried to pull her back down into its warm depths. But there was a scraping sound, loud and painful in the nearly silent room, close by that freed her from that hold. She managed to pry one eye open to discover that darkness surrounded her, save for a light at her head. Dim as it was, it still hurt and it brought a faint groan up her throat.
"And so Sleeping Beauty awakens," a voice rumbled from the shadows. There was a rustle of cloth on her left, then a shape coalesced out of the darkness. She stared blearily up into a furry blue face and tried to remember how to speak. "Welcome back to the land of the living, Alasdare."
"Henry?" It took three tries to find her voice. There seemed to be no moisture in her mouth, which meant no moisture for her lips. They'd felt rough and dry and cracked under her tongue when she'd licked them anyway.
"How do you feel?" he asked, not bothering to give an affirmative answer to her question.
Dare took a moment to really catalogue how she felt. "Like I died. Again."
"You did not die but it was a close thing. If Remy had not brought you to me when he did..." Henry let his words trail off, but she got his meaning well enough. She closed her eyes, swallowing hard around the lump in her throat.
"Where is Remy?" It took her much longer than she liked to string those three words together. Sleep and exhaustion clung to her brain, tried to drag her back under. Maybe if she sat up, she could stay more focused. Stay awake. But her limbs didn't want to cooperate, barely twitching when she told them to push her body into an upright position.
"I sent him to his bed. He did not want to leave your side, but he needed rest. I very well could not let him stretch himself past his limits. Not when I already had such a patient to contend with," he remarked. She heard the displeasure in his voice. He paused a moment and the got the distinct impression he was considering her. Eventually, he spoke again. There was no warmth in his voice."Your daughter is well. If you care about such things."
That last statement stung, but she had no right to complain. He was absolutely within his rights to give her a ration. "I'm glad," she whispered.
"Are you? Based on your behavior this past week, I find that hard to believe," he said. This time, the anger was there in his voice, plain to hear. Henry leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees so that he could pin her with the intensity of his stare. It felt like a weight resting against her skin. Even if she could have found the energy to move, she wouldn't have been able to. His gaze would have held her in place "You acted recklessly and without consideration for your friends and your family. You very nearly killed yourself. Such an action would have left your children without a mother. Logan without a partner. Again. And what of Morgan? Remy? Your friends and your team? Do they matter so little?"
"They matter," she got out, her voice choked by the tears she refused to shed.
"I find I have a hard time believing that. The callousness with which you have treated your loved ones suggests that you are cold and uncaring. Selfish. Childish," Henry told her. His anger mounted with every word that passed his lips, until Dare wished she'd never woken up. Even worse, he had every right to chastise her. He'd been her physician for a long time. And she considered him a friend. She'd no doubt worried him the way she'd worried everyone else.
Worst of all, there were no words that would defend or excuse her actions. Because he was right. There wasn't a single thing he'd said that wasn't the absolute truth. It was the disappointment in his gaze that saw her closing her eyes. Even though she knew she deserved that look and more, she couldn't stand seeing it. So she simply shut her eyes and tried to ignore the way his presence seemed to press down on her. As if it was looking for some excuse.
Finally, after several long moments of silence, she heard him sigh. There was a rustle of cloth, suggesting he'd moved. She kept her eyes closed. She wanted to go back to sleep. Wanted to pretend this encounter had never happened. Wanted to pretend that she wasn't the idiot he'd so eloquently called her.
"As with your previous pregnancies, you are on leave from your team for at least the next six weeks," Beast's voice said from somewhere above her. "And as your physician, I am putting you on bed rest for at least a week. You were unconscious when Remy brought you to the medlab last night and, because of that, I was forced to perform a cesarean for your health and safety, as well as for your baby. Sleep now. You need your rest."
It was some moments later, when she was sure she was alone and on the verge of falling under again, that the tears leaked from under her eyelids and slid down her cheeks. "I'm sorry." The two words were whispered into the darkness of the room, barely any breath to them. And then she was asleep and it didn't matter.
~*~
Remy was sitting on the big blue couch, staring sightlessly at the wall, when the door to the larger bedroom opened and closed quietly. He didn't have to look to know Haley was headed in his direction. Nor did he have to look to know she looked rough.
He'd found her sitting on that same couch, her face in her hands, crying almost uncontrollably when he'd let himself into the suite earlier in the evening. Technically, it had been last night as it had long since passed midnight. She'd tried to hide that she'd been crying when she heard him come in, but it had been nearly impossible. Her eyes had been red and swollen, her cheeks wet and blotchy. He'd been polite and he'd said nothing to her about it. He'd simply nodded his head at her and then turned for the other room. She'd said nothing to him. Not about Dare and not about the small bundle cradled in his arms.
He was tired and he needed to sleep. But he couldn't. He couldn't turn his mind off long enough to even get close to sleep. Instead, thoughts and images whirled in his head. They'd been enough to drive him from the soft mattress of the bed in the other room. Somehow, it felt empty without Dare there next to him. He'd gotten so used to sleeping beside her, the heat of her body pressed to his chest without reserve. And he hadn't been able to stay in the room because his last memory of it had been settling Dare into bed to sleep. Twelve hours ago. Maybe less. And in the time since, she'd wandered away and almost fucking died. There was no way he could sit in that room without her there to calm the fear that still fluttered like a butterfly in his heart.
So, after checking on the baby to ensure she slept peacefully, he'd left the bedroom and wandered into the living area in the hopes that his mind would cease its endless turning. There'd been no luck on that front yet.
"You look like shit," Haley said, her voice rough. Probably from a combination of sleep and her crying jag earlier.
"You one to talk," he returned, dragging his attention away from the tiny spot in one of the paintings he'd been staring at endlessly. He did so in time to see her hesitate in her steps for just a moment. Then she finished crossing the last few feet toward the couch so she could drop down onto it next to him. "You wanna talk `bout it?" he asked softly.
Haley considered his question for a few moments. But she shook her head. "Not now. Its still to raw."
"Ah," he responded. Something had happened with her hothead of a husband, then. He wasn't going to pry. She'd tell him, if, and when, she wanted.
"You wanna talk about your shit?" she asked in return.
He gave her brief flash of a smile. It went as quickly as it came. "You know what my problem is," he replied. Haley nodded.
"I do."
Silence fell between them. It wasn't comfortable. Neither was it uncomfortable. It just was. A few ticks of the clock in which they existed and breathed and pretended that things around them weren't going to shit in truly spectacular ways. Eventually, he heard a soft sigh from Haley. "She's going to be okay? Right?"
Whatever good cheer he'd managed to find died with those words. And, again, all he could see in his mind's eye was Dare lying on the bed in the medlab, limp and weak and barely there. And, all over again, he was angry. At Sinister for fucking with her mind. At himself for not seeing what she was doing to herself and letting her push him away. At her for thinking she had to hide from him. For thinking he didn't love her. He didn't realize he'd clenched his hand into a fist until Haley's settled over it, a gentle touch to help remind him that he wasn't alone. To ground him. He took a breath before turning to look at her.
Her fear was plain to see in her eyes, the emotion deepening the green of them until they were almost black. "Henry say she gon' be fine. She need to stay in bed and rest up for a week or so. But she gon' be okay. And de procedure go well. No problems."
"Good," the woman at his side said, her voice rough again. This time with the emotion that hearing those words had brought to life within her. She sagged back into the couch as if she'd gone boneless. Remy brought his other hand up so that he could lay it over hers. He didn't need to be a telepath to know what she was thinking at that moment.
"What happen wit' Dare. It not you fault. Same wit' Sinister and de horsemen. Dat not you fault, either." He felt her hand tremble under his, felt very briefly the faint kernel of fear that lived inside of her.
"It isn't your fault that she shut us out, either," Haley assured him. He heard the guilt in her voice, as if she hadn't even heard his words. He turned to look at her, saw the mix of truth and relief and worry and guilt in her stare. "She needs someone to untangle the ever-growing trauma in her head. Its like vines or weeds. The roots grow deep and the longer she lets it go, the harder it becomes to clear it away. No matter what she says or does, she loves you. So much that I think it hurts her."
Remy frowned, puzzling that one out. He didn't think he understood what Haley meant. "You wan' explain dat one to me?"
She obviously found his confusion funny, because a faint laugh huffed past her lips. Lips that turned up in a soft, gentle smile. Once upon a time, a smile like that would have drawn him like a moth to a flame. And it still did. But he'd come to understand over the years that Haley was better off as a friend than love interest. Not that he wouldn't jump at a chance if it was offered to him. She was a beautiful woman, friend or not. But he knew how much she loved Johnny. She'd been in love with him ever since she'd been a teen with no idea just what she was capable of doing to a man. And now there was Scott. And he would never think to step into that. Bad enough what had happened with everyone already. He wouldn't add to her host of problems.
"You know she loves you, Remy." Haley began, her smile still clinging to her lips. He nodded, though there was no need. It was very much an established fact at this point. "And she knows you love Morgan."
"She tell me once dat she don' deserve me," Remy responded. He remembered the depth of her sorrow that night, the absolute belief that she was wrong somehow. That she didn't deserve to love him. "She say I belong to Morgan."
"Because she also loves Morgan and she doesn't want to do anything to hurt Morgan," Haley replied. If she was surprised by Remy's words, she gave no hint of it. "Nor does she want to hurt you. And before you ask, that's nothing she's admitted to me. Just a feeling I get. And I feel like a lot of that has to do with everything that happened in her past."
He nodded, but said nothing. He could clearly recall the words she'd spoken to him that night, when her words had been thick with tears and sadness and she'd made every effort she could to keep him at arm's length. "I'm used and tainted and... I don't deserve to love you like I do." He'd known for a long time about the Finley boy and what it seemed he'd done to Dare. He'd never heard the full story and he'd never asked about it. Maybe he should have. But knowing what he did know about that boy in her past, and about what Creed had done to her, and about what Sinister had done to her, he could understand why she'd think that. Hell, wasn't he complicit in the things that had happened to her? Not once but twice. "She tell me she don' deserve me because she tainted."
Haley frowned, her lips flat as she absorbed that. "She told me once that she didn't tell Logan what happened when Creed had you both because she didn't want Logan to think she was a filthy whore. She'd probably been dealing with that cheery thought since Creed and the RV."
"Since before she come to de school," Remy supplied, anger and the urge to do violence staining his voice. He felt Haley's gaze on him, sharp and piercing. If it had been a knife, it would have pierced right through him. "She never say it back den, but de feeling there when we go around together."
Haley sighed. "Matt Finley."
"You know you gon' have one hell of a time triyn' to convince her to see a therapist," he said quietly. To be perfectly honest, he was starting to wonder if a therapist would do any good. There was so much for her to work through. Between kidnapping and assaults and death, a lot of bad shit had happened to Dare. And he couldn't help but think there was something more. He didn't know where she'd gotten the idea she didn't deserve to be loved and to love in return. But she was constantly saying she didn't deserve someone or something in her life. That wasn't normal.
"Then we're all going to have to work hard to convince her," Haley said, a hint of steel in her voice. "And we need to make sure she knows that we will be there to help her. Because we love her and she deserves good, happy things."
Haley took a moment to pat his hand gently. It said so much for being such a tiny action. "And so do you."
Remy offered her a soft smile, patting her hand in the same way she'd patted his. "Dat go de same for you, cher. We gon' be here for you to help. Because we love you and you deserve good, happy t'ings, too."
Chapter Thirty Five: Aftershocks
Fandom: the Marvel universe
Rating: 18 and up
Warnings: graphic violence, language, sex, dark themes, anything else i can toss in.
Disclaimer: the recognizable characters and places contained herein are the property of Marvel. i'm merely borrowing for the sake of entertainment. no money is being made from this venture. Haley belongs to
dazzledfirestar Morgan belongs toginevra Roxxy belongs tonanaeanaven Jehnna belongs to silverfox_chan and Dare belongs to me. the concept and title of The Mary Sue Virus are used with permission from dazzledfirestar . Author's Notes: this is almost entirely Daz's fault. okay. so it really isn't. its actually almost 100% my fault. Daz just did a whole lot of encouraging. this fic is going to be kind of dark, so please keep that in mind while reading.
Among the Strong - the index
She was tired. No. Not tired. Exhausted. The past two days had been fraught with worry and fear and, now that there was no longer any need for either of those emotions, the adrenalin had worn off to leave her ready to drop. And that's what she planned on doing. As soon as she gave everyone an update on the situation.
Henry had tried to convince her to go to bed already. Almost as soon as they'd gotten Dare out of the surgical theater and into recovery, he'd been pushing her toward bed. She'd considered, for a couple of minutes, doing exactly that. She'd been on the razor's edge ever since her conversation with Duke the other day. Though they'd searched the entire mansion and the grounds, they'd never found Dare. She'd wanted to believe that he was being melodramatic. But she was the one who had realized that each of her friends had been dealing with the effects of their child's future horseman ability. She wasn't sure how that worked, given the children hadn't even seen Apocalypse yet. But there it was.
Part of her felt she should have sat with Dare. She felt that the other woman needed a friendly face at her side when she eventually, finally, woke up. But Henry had quashed that. He'd said he would take the first watch and sit with Dare. She wanted to think that he was doing it solely because he, like everyone else, had been worried about her. But she knew that he had other reasons. She would leave him to those reasons even though she felt that taking Dare to task so soon after nearly losing her would be cruel. Whatever it was that was going on in Dare's head, whatever it was that had pushed her to such ends, there was no reason to add to it. She'd considered telling Henry that before leaving the medlab, but she'd decided against it. There was no way he would have listened.
She should have gone to bed straight away, but there'd been too much in her head to allow her to rest. Much of it was centered on the things she'd come to believe in the past couple of days. She wasn't entirely certain what was going on, but she was certain that it was bigger than she was. The problem was, she couldn't even begin to figure out what the bigger thing was. All she knew was Sinister had used her friends in order to play god. And she also knew, if she ever met Sinister face to face, she'd play the Grim Reaper and reap his ass.
As she drew closer to the closed door of Haley's suite, she heard the soft sounds of conversation. There were several heartbeats to be heard, letting her know that she was going to find more than Haley and Emilia in that room. She heaved a sigh of relief. That would make her job so much easier. She'd be able to tell everyone the news all at once instead of having to go to two more rooms and repeat herself two more times. Anything that got her to bed faster was good for her.
"What the fuck, Haley? Why the hell do you need such a big bed?" Johnny's voice cut across the silence, loud and filled with anger. She swore she felt the entire room on the other side of the door she stood before go still, as if it held its breath as it waited for the answer. "Who the hell is sleeping in it with you?"
Shit.
She didn't knock. Instinct told her they wouldn't hear it. One hand on the door knob, she turned it and pushed the door open. The room on the other side of it was a painting come to life, because everyone was so still and silent. Her gaze swept the interior quickly, taking note of how several people were staring at Johnny in shock and surprise. Haley's cheeks were bright red and there were tears gathered in the corners of her eyes. The redhead was staring at her husband with wide eyes and it was blatantly obvious that Haley had reached the end of her rope.
"Knock it off, Johnny!" Her voice entered the room before she did, echoing loudly enough that everyone turned to look at her. Some of the anger in her words seemed to have brought a touch of sense to Johnny, because the look in his eyes held notes of regret. There was still plenty of anger in it. And sadness. But she saw the regret. "You know, as well as everyone in this room, that there's no way Haley is sleeping with anyone. And, in case you didn't know, Haley only moved into the suite this morning. So no one is sleeping in that big bed. Get your head out of your ass and apologize to your wife!"
"Rox, its okay," Haley said quietly. Roxxy turned to look at her.
"The hell it is. He's either got a big set of balls asking you that question only a couple days after giving birth or his brain is permanently set on stupid." She made sure her tone told them which one she was picking.
The look Johnny shot her was not friendly. Roxxy narrowed her gaze on him, a silent threat and warning rolled into one. "Right now is not the time to try me, asshole. I've had a bad couple of days and the fuse on my temper is short."
"You've had a bad couple of days?" Johnny asked, voice filled with disbelief and disgust. Without saying a word, he made a show of motioning first toward Haley, then toward Scott. "I've got to deal with this shit."
Roxxy didn't think anyone noticed or heard, but Haley's voice hitched in her throat at that. A glance from the corner of her eye showed her that Haley was about two seconds away from crying. Suddenly, Roxxy wasn't quite so exhausted anymore. Suddenly, she was pissed off and ready to rip Johnny Storm to shreds.
She didn't like the feeling of that anger. It was the same anger she'd felt in the Danger Room the night she'd tried to kill Scott and nearly killed Logan. She took a breath. Then another. And even more. Until the ache in her teeth passed and the feel of her fingernails biting into her palms eased back. Only then, when she was sure she could control her temper, did she level him with a look and take a few steps closer.
"This shit? That's how you refer to your wife? To my best friend?" she asked quietly. The room around her was suddenly still again, holding its breath again. "Let's talk about 'this shit'. Let's talk about how a future version of Morgan and Warren's baby nearly took my life. Let's talk about how Sinister took my friends, one of whom is your wife, captive. Let's talk about how he locked them in a room with a single partner and kept them cut off from each other. Let's talk about how, for a year, they were forced to rely on one another for companionship. For compassion. For something resembling a normal life. And let's talk about how Sinister did everything in his power to fuck all of that up."
Roxxy paused a moment and took in the sound of the hearts beating around her. All of them were beating in an irregular rhythm, faster than normal. It was fear. Even if none of them acknowledged it or admitted to it, all of them were afraid. Afraid of what had happened. Afraid of it happening again. Just afraid. She was repulsed by the stink of their fear. And enticed by it. She stomped down on that bit and returned her attention to the man standing only a short distance from her.
"Now let's talk about what this whole mess did to my friends and family," she said, voice pitched low so as to be sure he actually listened to her. "Let's talk about how no one knows where they stand anymore. How Sinister's tinkering has them questioning their relationships with their significant others and their friends. Let's talk about how he fucked with emotions so callously. And let's talk about how his actions fucked with everyone's mental health. Because its obvious you can only think about what happened to you."
"Roxxy," Haley began. She ignored the other woman for a moment.
"Jehnna is tearing herself in two, trying to reconcile the idea that she loves Sam and Warren at the same time. Because she's having a hard time with loving more than one person at a time. And she feels guilty for loving them both." Her words saw Johnny glancing toward the spot where Jehnna sat. She didn't have to look to know that the guilt Jehnna felt was plain to see on her face. She didn't have to look to know that Warren was trying to make her feel better about how things had gone between them. And she didn't have to look to know that Sam was offering Warren a silent apology.
"Morgan is torn between a new love and her old loves. And don't think that her casual appearance means that this isn't difficult for her. It took her a very long time to realize that it was okay to love Remy. I can't imagine how much it hurt to find herself falling in love with Warren and how that must have felt like a betrayal to Remy."
"Roxxy." This time, it was Morgan who spoke. This time, as with the last, Roxxy ignored her friend. Johnny needed to understand that he wasn't the only one having troubles.
"Haley lays the blame for all of this at her own feet," Roxxy continued, her tone matter-of-fact. "She believes this is all her fault. Because she wasn't strong enough. She wasn't a better leader. She didn't stop the horsemen when they stepped out of that portal. She thinks she should have done something different or better so that this shit didn't happen. She blames herself for what happened to everyone Sinister took. And for what happened to me. Despite the fact that she had no idea what happened until she got back. She blames herself for all of it, even though none of it was her fault."
Roxxy paused and crossed her arms over her chest. "Finally. Let's talk about Dare. Let's talk about how years and years of unresolved trauma were brought to a boiling point by Sinister's fuckery. He played with her emotions for Remy. He played with all that trauma, using it as a way to push her buttons. He pushed and pushed and pushed. And what did that accomplish? She nearly fucking died tonight because she doesn't know how to process any of this shit. Because her head is so fucked up that she can't accept someone loving her now. But, hey. Its obvious that you're the only one allowed to have a hard time with what happened. Fucking grow up, Storm. Get your head out of your ass."
She paused her tired there, suddenly aware of the tension around her. It took her a second or two to realize what it was she'd said and she could have kicked herself for her callousness. Roxxy closed her eyes and took a deep breath. It was important she centered herself or she'd go on. And she'd lose the control she had on her temper. Nothing good would come of that.
So she kept to herself that the men who'd been stuck in Sinister's pocket dimension suffered from trauma and grief and a host of other things. Something told her Johnny wouldn't care about that. And, for the moment, it wasn't important anymore. What was important was giving her friends the information they needed. She turned to Haley and found the other woman was pale, hands fisted in her lap. "I'm sorry, Haley. That isn't how I wanted to address this."
"Tell me everything," Haley instructed, her voice injected with no small amount of what Roxxy had come to know as Icon's commanding tones.
"She was very weak when Remy brought her to the medlab," Roxxy said gently. "Faye had come some ten or fifteen minutes earlier to let us know he'd be bringing Dare to us. Neither of us had wanted to believe that her interpretation of the situation was correct. But when Remy arrived..."
"I thought Faye was stretching the truth," Morgan murmured.
"She wasn't. Dare was weak. Her pulse was thready. Her breathing was shallow. It didn't take Henry long to determine she'd been in labor for a while, possibly hours, and that there was no way she'd be able to assist in the delivery. She was barely conscious when Remy got there," Roxxy said.
"So Hank decided to perform a c-section," Haley said. Her voice was flat, but Roxxy knew it for the act it was. She was on the edge, ready to fall over into a chasm of despair and sorrow.
"He determined that it would be the safest course of action. For both of them," Roxxy replied.
"What happened?" This from Warren. He was settled on the couch, Morgan across his lap so he could wrap his arms around her and hold her close. She had her face pressed into his chest but it did nothing to stifle her soft sobs.
"Dare and Remy's baby was delivered a little while ago. The baby is healthy. Dare is resting comfortably," she told the room. "Henry is going to keep her in the medlab for a day or two, obviously. Until he's certain she's not in any danger. He is, at present, cautiously optimistic."
"Oh. Thank god," Haley breathed. Roxxy saw the crack that had formed over the course of the conversation. She'd seen it start and she'd watched as it had worked its way into the wall Haley had put up around her emotions, how jagged edges had formed and were widening with every new bit of information provided. And now, with the relief hitting, the crack was a gaping hole in that wall. Haley was about to fall apart in a spectacular way. She'd been holding on by a thread for too long and Dare almost dying was the last straw.
One tear fell. Then a second. Then Haley was crying full force, her face buried in her hands. Scott reacted in the blink of an eye, crossing to where she sat so he could pull her up into his arms for a hug. A hug she obviously needed desperately, because she clung to Scott like he was the only solid thing in her life. And maybe he was, because Johnny seemed to be confused about what he should do.
That only lasted a moment, though, because the very second he saw how Haley melted into Scott, his temper spiked yet again. He crossed to where they stood and physically ripped Haley out of Scott's hold, putting himself between the two.
"Keep your hands off my wife, you son-of-a-bitch!" Johnny snarled. One hand fisted and then it came up from his side. The target was obviously Scott's chin, but Scott ducked back and knocked Johnny's hand out of the air with his arm. That only pissed Johnny off more, because he wound up for a second swing.
"Johnny! That's enough!" Haley snapped, voice ringing loud in the room. It was enough to bring her husband back to the here and now. And then he was taking a few steps back from Haley. Haley, whose hands were fisted at her sides. Whose eyes flashed a deep, dark green with her anger. Whose voice rang with something deep and dark and seemed to echo off the walls with more and more volume. Whose skin almost seemed to glisten and glow.
The entire room was silent and still, all eyes locked on the two of them. As if suddenly remembering that there were other people in the room, Haley blinked and stared around her. She looked slightly confused and possibly a little ashamed. But it was there and gone in a moment when her attention returned to her husband. "I need you to go. Now. Go back to the Baxter Building. In fact, I need everyone to leave. Please."
By the time she'd finished speaking, she was ready to cry again. Sam and Jehnna were the first ones to go. Jehnna paused long enough to very gingerly lay a hand on Haley's arm. A silent offer of support, probably. Morgan and Warren went next, Morgan following in Jehnna's footsteps and putting a hand on Haley's arm.
When it became obvious that neither Johnny nor Scott seemed inclined to move, Haley frowned at them. "Please. I'm asking you very politely to leave and let me have some privacy. If I have to ask again, it won't be very polite or nice at all."
"I'll leave when he does," Johnny said, blonde head jerking in Scott's direction.
"I'm not going to leave until after you do," Scott replied. Haley's lips thinned and she looked as if she was preparing to tear into both of them.
"You can both leave now," Roxxy suggested. "I won't leave until you both do. Do not make me physically remove you." The warning held more merit with Scott than it did with Johnny because she saw the way Scott reached up to rub absently at his arm.
Johnny stood in place a moment longer, staring at her as if he didn't think she was a threat. When Roxxy returned his look with one of her own, Johnny finally heaved a sigh and headed toward the back wall. His fingers tapped at something there and, in an instant, she could see the interior of the room Haley shared with Johnny at the Baxter Building. "Call me when you make a decision," he said, then stepped through the portal. It closed without fanfare and Johnny didn't look back to see if Haley watched him leave.
"I don't want to leave you when you're in a state of distress, Haley," Scott began, and Roxxy could hear the unhappiness in his voice. "But I understand that you want and need time. Call me if you want me to help with Emilia."
With that, Scott was gone. Roxxy turned to look at her friend and wished that she dared go against Haley's wishes. But she wouldn't. Haley needed privacy and Roxxy would give it to her. "I'm going to go to bed. Call me if you need me. Henry is sitting with Dare tonight," she said, moving closer to her best friend. Like her friends before her, she laid a hand on Haley's arm. Unlike them, she offered words, too. "Please don't blame yourself. This isn't your fault. Dare's going to be okay."
Haley's sobs followed Roxxy up the hall, even after she'd shut the door to the suite when she left.
~*~
Her head was stuffed with cotton, her tongue felt heavy and dry in her mouth, and her fingers felt like helium balloons in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade. She had to be on the really, really good drugs.
On the tail of that thought came the annoying beep that sounded in time with the slow, heavy thump of the heart in her chest. There was the faint pinch and pull of tape. An ache that was dull and distant. Each of those individual things could be fit together like the pieces of a puzzle, but her brain was too fuzzy to figure out what the picture was. All she knew is she wanted to sleep. Forever. She was so tired.
As if hearing her, sleep reached for her. Tried to pull her back down into its warm depths. But there was a scraping sound, loud and painful in the nearly silent room, close by that freed her from that hold. She managed to pry one eye open to discover that darkness surrounded her, save for a light at her head. Dim as it was, it still hurt and it brought a faint groan up her throat.
"And so Sleeping Beauty awakens," a voice rumbled from the shadows. There was a rustle of cloth on her left, then a shape coalesced out of the darkness. She stared blearily up into a furry blue face and tried to remember how to speak. "Welcome back to the land of the living, Alasdare."
"Henry?" It took three tries to find her voice. There seemed to be no moisture in her mouth, which meant no moisture for her lips. They'd felt rough and dry and cracked under her tongue when she'd licked them anyway.
"How do you feel?" he asked, not bothering to give an affirmative answer to her question.
Dare took a moment to really catalogue how she felt. "Like I died. Again."
"You did not die but it was a close thing. If Remy had not brought you to me when he did..." Henry let his words trail off, but she got his meaning well enough. She closed her eyes, swallowing hard around the lump in her throat.
"Where is Remy?" It took her much longer than she liked to string those three words together. Sleep and exhaustion clung to her brain, tried to drag her back under. Maybe if she sat up, she could stay more focused. Stay awake. But her limbs didn't want to cooperate, barely twitching when she told them to push her body into an upright position.
"I sent him to his bed. He did not want to leave your side, but he needed rest. I very well could not let him stretch himself past his limits. Not when I already had such a patient to contend with," he remarked. She heard the displeasure in his voice. He paused a moment and the got the distinct impression he was considering her. Eventually, he spoke again. There was no warmth in his voice."Your daughter is well. If you care about such things."
That last statement stung, but she had no right to complain. He was absolutely within his rights to give her a ration. "I'm glad," she whispered.
"Are you? Based on your behavior this past week, I find that hard to believe," he said. This time, the anger was there in his voice, plain to hear. Henry leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees so that he could pin her with the intensity of his stare. It felt like a weight resting against her skin. Even if she could have found the energy to move, she wouldn't have been able to. His gaze would have held her in place "You acted recklessly and without consideration for your friends and your family. You very nearly killed yourself. Such an action would have left your children without a mother. Logan without a partner. Again. And what of Morgan? Remy? Your friends and your team? Do they matter so little?"
"They matter," she got out, her voice choked by the tears she refused to shed.
"I find I have a hard time believing that. The callousness with which you have treated your loved ones suggests that you are cold and uncaring. Selfish. Childish," Henry told her. His anger mounted with every word that passed his lips, until Dare wished she'd never woken up. Even worse, he had every right to chastise her. He'd been her physician for a long time. And she considered him a friend. She'd no doubt worried him the way she'd worried everyone else.
Worst of all, there were no words that would defend or excuse her actions. Because he was right. There wasn't a single thing he'd said that wasn't the absolute truth. It was the disappointment in his gaze that saw her closing her eyes. Even though she knew she deserved that look and more, she couldn't stand seeing it. So she simply shut her eyes and tried to ignore the way his presence seemed to press down on her. As if it was looking for some excuse.
Finally, after several long moments of silence, she heard him sigh. There was a rustle of cloth, suggesting he'd moved. She kept her eyes closed. She wanted to go back to sleep. Wanted to pretend this encounter had never happened. Wanted to pretend that she wasn't the idiot he'd so eloquently called her.
"As with your previous pregnancies, you are on leave from your team for at least the next six weeks," Beast's voice said from somewhere above her. "And as your physician, I am putting you on bed rest for at least a week. You were unconscious when Remy brought you to the medlab last night and, because of that, I was forced to perform a cesarean for your health and safety, as well as for your baby. Sleep now. You need your rest."
It was some moments later, when she was sure she was alone and on the verge of falling under again, that the tears leaked from under her eyelids and slid down her cheeks. "I'm sorry." The two words were whispered into the darkness of the room, barely any breath to them. And then she was asleep and it didn't matter.
~*~
Remy was sitting on the big blue couch, staring sightlessly at the wall, when the door to the larger bedroom opened and closed quietly. He didn't have to look to know Haley was headed in his direction. Nor did he have to look to know she looked rough.
He'd found her sitting on that same couch, her face in her hands, crying almost uncontrollably when he'd let himself into the suite earlier in the evening. Technically, it had been last night as it had long since passed midnight. She'd tried to hide that she'd been crying when she heard him come in, but it had been nearly impossible. Her eyes had been red and swollen, her cheeks wet and blotchy. He'd been polite and he'd said nothing to her about it. He'd simply nodded his head at her and then turned for the other room. She'd said nothing to him. Not about Dare and not about the small bundle cradled in his arms.
He was tired and he needed to sleep. But he couldn't. He couldn't turn his mind off long enough to even get close to sleep. Instead, thoughts and images whirled in his head. They'd been enough to drive him from the soft mattress of the bed in the other room. Somehow, it felt empty without Dare there next to him. He'd gotten so used to sleeping beside her, the heat of her body pressed to his chest without reserve. And he hadn't been able to stay in the room because his last memory of it had been settling Dare into bed to sleep. Twelve hours ago. Maybe less. And in the time since, she'd wandered away and almost fucking died. There was no way he could sit in that room without her there to calm the fear that still fluttered like a butterfly in his heart.
So, after checking on the baby to ensure she slept peacefully, he'd left the bedroom and wandered into the living area in the hopes that his mind would cease its endless turning. There'd been no luck on that front yet.
"You look like shit," Haley said, her voice rough. Probably from a combination of sleep and her crying jag earlier.
"You one to talk," he returned, dragging his attention away from the tiny spot in one of the paintings he'd been staring at endlessly. He did so in time to see her hesitate in her steps for just a moment. Then she finished crossing the last few feet toward the couch so she could drop down onto it next to him. "You wanna talk `bout it?" he asked softly.
Haley considered his question for a few moments. But she shook her head. "Not now. Its still to raw."
"Ah," he responded. Something had happened with her hothead of a husband, then. He wasn't going to pry. She'd tell him, if, and when, she wanted.
"You wanna talk about your shit?" she asked in return.
He gave her brief flash of a smile. It went as quickly as it came. "You know what my problem is," he replied. Haley nodded.
"I do."
Silence fell between them. It wasn't comfortable. Neither was it uncomfortable. It just was. A few ticks of the clock in which they existed and breathed and pretended that things around them weren't going to shit in truly spectacular ways. Eventually, he heard a soft sigh from Haley. "She's going to be okay? Right?"
Whatever good cheer he'd managed to find died with those words. And, again, all he could see in his mind's eye was Dare lying on the bed in the medlab, limp and weak and barely there. And, all over again, he was angry. At Sinister for fucking with her mind. At himself for not seeing what she was doing to herself and letting her push him away. At her for thinking she had to hide from him. For thinking he didn't love her. He didn't realize he'd clenched his hand into a fist until Haley's settled over it, a gentle touch to help remind him that he wasn't alone. To ground him. He took a breath before turning to look at her.
Her fear was plain to see in her eyes, the emotion deepening the green of them until they were almost black. "Henry say she gon' be fine. She need to stay in bed and rest up for a week or so. But she gon' be okay. And de procedure go well. No problems."
"Good," the woman at his side said, her voice rough again. This time with the emotion that hearing those words had brought to life within her. She sagged back into the couch as if she'd gone boneless. Remy brought his other hand up so that he could lay it over hers. He didn't need to be a telepath to know what she was thinking at that moment.
"What happen wit' Dare. It not you fault. Same wit' Sinister and de horsemen. Dat not you fault, either." He felt her hand tremble under his, felt very briefly the faint kernel of fear that lived inside of her.
"It isn't your fault that she shut us out, either," Haley assured him. He heard the guilt in her voice, as if she hadn't even heard his words. He turned to look at her, saw the mix of truth and relief and worry and guilt in her stare. "She needs someone to untangle the ever-growing trauma in her head. Its like vines or weeds. The roots grow deep and the longer she lets it go, the harder it becomes to clear it away. No matter what she says or does, she loves you. So much that I think it hurts her."
Remy frowned, puzzling that one out. He didn't think he understood what Haley meant. "You wan' explain dat one to me?"
She obviously found his confusion funny, because a faint laugh huffed past her lips. Lips that turned up in a soft, gentle smile. Once upon a time, a smile like that would have drawn him like a moth to a flame. And it still did. But he'd come to understand over the years that Haley was better off as a friend than love interest. Not that he wouldn't jump at a chance if it was offered to him. She was a beautiful woman, friend or not. But he knew how much she loved Johnny. She'd been in love with him ever since she'd been a teen with no idea just what she was capable of doing to a man. And now there was Scott. And he would never think to step into that. Bad enough what had happened with everyone already. He wouldn't add to her host of problems.
"You know she loves you, Remy." Haley began, her smile still clinging to her lips. He nodded, though there was no need. It was very much an established fact at this point. "And she knows you love Morgan."
"She tell me once dat she don' deserve me," Remy responded. He remembered the depth of her sorrow that night, the absolute belief that she was wrong somehow. That she didn't deserve to love him. "She say I belong to Morgan."
"Because she also loves Morgan and she doesn't want to do anything to hurt Morgan," Haley replied. If she was surprised by Remy's words, she gave no hint of it. "Nor does she want to hurt you. And before you ask, that's nothing she's admitted to me. Just a feeling I get. And I feel like a lot of that has to do with everything that happened in her past."
He nodded, but said nothing. He could clearly recall the words she'd spoken to him that night, when her words had been thick with tears and sadness and she'd made every effort she could to keep him at arm's length. "I'm used and tainted and... I don't deserve to love you like I do." He'd known for a long time about the Finley boy and what it seemed he'd done to Dare. He'd never heard the full story and he'd never asked about it. Maybe he should have. But knowing what he did know about that boy in her past, and about what Creed had done to her, and about what Sinister had done to her, he could understand why she'd think that. Hell, wasn't he complicit in the things that had happened to her? Not once but twice. "She tell me she don' deserve me because she tainted."
Haley frowned, her lips flat as she absorbed that. "She told me once that she didn't tell Logan what happened when Creed had you both because she didn't want Logan to think she was a filthy whore. She'd probably been dealing with that cheery thought since Creed and the RV."
"Since before she come to de school," Remy supplied, anger and the urge to do violence staining his voice. He felt Haley's gaze on him, sharp and piercing. If it had been a knife, it would have pierced right through him. "She never say it back den, but de feeling there when we go around together."
Haley sighed. "Matt Finley."
"You know you gon' have one hell of a time triyn' to convince her to see a therapist," he said quietly. To be perfectly honest, he was starting to wonder if a therapist would do any good. There was so much for her to work through. Between kidnapping and assaults and death, a lot of bad shit had happened to Dare. And he couldn't help but think there was something more. He didn't know where she'd gotten the idea she didn't deserve to be loved and to love in return. But she was constantly saying she didn't deserve someone or something in her life. That wasn't normal.
"Then we're all going to have to work hard to convince her," Haley said, a hint of steel in her voice. "And we need to make sure she knows that we will be there to help her. Because we love her and she deserves good, happy things."
Haley took a moment to pat his hand gently. It said so much for being such a tiny action. "And so do you."
Remy offered her a soft smile, patting her hand in the same way she'd patted his. "Dat go de same for you, cher. We gon' be here for you to help. Because we love you and you deserve good, happy t'ings, too."
no subject
Roxxy's control is probably better than most but I don't blame her for going off. Johnny's clearly still feeling rather than thinking and reacting without thinking and needed a wake up call. He absolutely deserved to get ripped apart at that point but I'm sure the rest of the girls are wondering why they're getting dragged into this mess.
We knew Haley would have to break eventually and all of this definitely didn't help but... oooo, was that a new show of power there? Did she just real something big in to save some people from something? I don't remember her glimmering before!
You know she's just going to pull in again and any headway Scott made is likely gone now. Ugh. Stupid boys.
I'm glad Dare didn't wake up alone and I'm glad Hank isn't bullshitting her about what her behavior has brought about. Someone needed to tell her some harsh truths and I'm glad he did. Hopefully she can start taking care of herself properly now and taking care of the little one! And Remy. And Logan.
Also I think Hank and Roxxy need a week off. And a vacation to somewhere nice. Everyboyd owes them that much.
I really love this bit with Remy and Haley. I know I keep saying this, but I want more of this friendship! They're so honest with each other and there doesn't seem to be a lot of pretense there. Like they both see how fucked up things are and they're just on the table about it. I love it. Also I'm glad someone told Haley she's allowed to be happy. I think she really needed to hear that.
It's going to take a herculean effort to get Dare to deal with her mountain of trauma and I'm glad they're both aware of that because I feel like those two might just be able to shove her in the right direction. Fingers crossed.
This is so good hun. Again I thought I'd sent this earlier but... well it's here now! Great work!
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i imagine Roxxy has very good control. and she has to be very not happy to have a go at Johnny the way she did. i feel like she handled it well, with the perfect balance of cold fact and distressed anger working together in an effort to get her point across. i'm sure the girls are very curious why they're being made a part of it. i'm also sure they'll get over it.
i think it was inevitable that Haley broke. i mean... *gestures at everything* there has been so much going on and she's trying to shoulder all of it as if she could actually stop the horsemen on her own and thwart Sinister and all that crap. i doubt she's the only one who will break. i feel like everyone has their breaking point. Haley just had the dubious honor of putting the blame for everything on her own shoulders. it might have been a new power. i don't recall Haley glimmering before but i guess we'll have to wait and see.
i'm sure she's going to try and rebuild her walls. fortunately for Scott, he's got patience to spare. ;p
i don't think like, in an instance like this, Henry would even consider bullshitting. Dare obviously has bad shit circling her brain and to have someone like Henry, who is usually not so blunt, will let her know just how serious and bad things are. now whether or not she takes that to heart... that's a different matter. but it is absolutely vital she didn't wake up alone. and i think Henry being there was a good thing. probably for both of them.
Henry and Roxxy absolutely need a week off. hell, probably two. no kids. no responsibilities. nothing but tropical locales and potent cocktails served in coconut shells.
i really like how Remy and Haley's bit came out. there are so many relationships to be explored. some are extremely complex. some are much simpler. but there is a common theme in them all. friendship. these people are all tied together by shared experiences and career paths and so many other things. friendship is important! its what helps keep them going when everything looks like its turned to shit. and its what they've got to help when they need to pick up the fractured pieces of their lives and try to continue onward as if nothing bad has happened. and, if we're being honest, that friendship is tantamount for any romantic relationships. this is found family, but in the largest, broadest sense possible, i think
i am beyond certain other people will tell Haley that a.) she deserves happiness and to be happy, just like everyone else. and b.) none of this is her fault and she needs to stop blaming herself for what happened.
it will take so much to get Dare's trauma sorted out. so much. i do not envy the therapist that gets saddled with helping her work through it. not at all.
glad you enjoyed, sweetie. thanks for reading and no worries. as i always say: the words aren't going anywhere.
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I can get behind that!
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Go Roxxy, go Roxxy!
Oh, good. Everyone is still in Haley's suite. I really like how you included info from Roxxy's heightened senses. Unfortunately it looks like the proverbial shit has already hit the proverbial fan.
Damn! Roxxy is on fire.
Sleep deprivation will do that to ya, for sure.
Roxxy is trying so hard to control her temper despite whatever it is that is fucking with her. *proud of my girl* Johnny has no idea how fucking lucky he is that she didn't literally rip into him. He really needed to hear everything she said. (Everyone did.) Talk about being a self-centered jerk. Yes, get your head out of your ass Storm. You don't have it half as bad as everyone else in that room. Grow the fuck up indeed!
Granted, that probably wasn't the best way to break the info about Dare. Poor, poor Haley. Her breaking down was inevitable. Johnny really needs to get his shit together. Yeah, probably a mistake given her recent power-up - which (of course) he knows nothing about.
Is it just me, or was Icon on the verge of powering up there for just a moment?
Dammit, Henry! I knew Roxxy should have stayed there with Dare. I know he's got a point, and he has his reasons, but still. Poor Dare. I really hope she comes around instead of pulling further inside herself.
The whole conversation between Remy and Haley was perfect, bb. Just perfect.
Is there anyone on Purple team that Remy hasn't slept with? Thinks.... Jehnna, maybe?
Sorry it took me so damn long, bb. Kudos and all that. Lovely as always. Muchly enjoyed. *smooches*
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i enjoyed exploring this scene through Roxxy's eyes and through the signals she got off people that others wouldn't. elevated heartbeats. the stink of fear. an in-drawn breath. those little things that might go missed or not even seen at all. and she's so keyed up when she gets there. the exhaustion is eating at her. she's just dealt with almost losing a friend. she doesn't understand where her intense anger is coming from. and she walks into that shit show. of course she's going to go off. of course she's going to read Johnny the riot act. and of course she's going to let shit slip in the worst possible way.
Haley is totally at her breaking point. and dropping that bombshell the way Roxxy did was what broke Haley's control. and i'm sure she's going to feel bad about how that went down. later. for now, she needs to cool her temper and get sleep.
i think you're right. i think Icon was on the verge of powering up there. intriguing to see where that's going.
Henry absolutely has a point and he does have his reasons. he wasn't wrong in how he approached things, either. Dare knows she's fucked up in the worst possible way. the fact that Henry didn't say anything worse to her is a miracle. and we'll see how my girl does. right now, she's too exhausted to really do much of anything. so we'll have to wait and see what happens.
i really loved the conversation between Remy and Haley. it was a good one. short, but good.
Jehnna is the only member of Purple team that Remy has not slept with. you are correct.
its all good, bb. i know things are hectic for you. the words are not going anywhere. i'm glad you enjoyed it and thanks for leaving me a comment!