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marysuevirus2025-02-28 09:26 am
ladydeathfaerie) wrote in marysuevirus2025-02-28 09:26 am
Among the Strong
Title: Among the Strong
Chapter Forty: A Fresh Point of View
Fandom: the Marvel universe
Rating: 18 and up
Warnings: graphic violence, language, sex, dark themes, anything else i can toss in.
Disclaimer: the recognizable characters and places contained herein are the property of Marvel. i'm merely borrowing for the sake of entertainment. no money is being made from this venture. Haley belongs todazzledfirestar Morgan belongs toginevra Roxxy belongs tonanaeanaven Jehnna belongs to silverfox_chan and Dare belongs to me. the concept and title of The Mary Sue Virus are used with permission from dazzledfirestar .
Author's Notes: this is almost entirely Daz's fault. okay. so it really isn't. its actually almost 100% my fault. Daz just did a whole lot of encouraging. this fic is going to be kind of dark, so please keep that in mind while reading.
Among the Strong - the index
She’d looked so at home in Summers’ arms. As if she’d always belonged there. It had felt like a slap in the face then and it still felt like one now. Days later and all he could see, all he knew, was that Summers had touched another man’s wife, his wife, and that she’d accepted it. Haley had accepted it. She’d welcomed it. The anger he’d felt that day rose to fill him once again. The urge to punch the son-of-a-bitch square in the mouth roared through him like a fire feasting on dead wood a second time. His fingers even curled into a fist. As if he could punch a memory.
Following on that feeling was the disbelief that had come when Haley had so coldly ordered him to leave. He could still see her face and the anger there. He could still see the way she’d gone pale. It was a precursor to her powers activating. He’d seen it happen more than once during their years together. Her eyes had flashed a deep, dark green. There’d been power in her voice. And he swore he’d seen her skin glimmer and shine. Just for a moment.
And then the pain of being told to leave had hit him. Square in the chest, As if she’d punched him there herself, her fist a ball of stone made to hurt and destroy. It had felt as if his heart was trying to explode. Hell, it had felt like the world was ending right then and there.
That imagined pain was gone in a flash, replaced with a real pain when a very solid, very real basketball hit him in the side of the head with force. “Are you listening to me, jackass?”
“Ow! What the hell, Pete?” Johnny turned to face his best friend. Peter stared at him, his expression saying very plainly that he was upset. The basketball was held in his hands, as if it had never hit him upside the head.
“I asked you if you were listening to me. Given what you just said, obviously not.” Pete’s frown got bigger. Johnny recognized the look the other man was wearing. He was sure he wasn’t going to like whatever his friend was going to say. “Have you talked to your wife yet?”
He was right.
“Again. What the hell, Pete?” Johnny demanded, hand rubbing absently over the spot where the ball had hit him. He hoped he didn’t end up with a knot.
“You’re distracted. I asked you four times if you wanted to call it quits because its so obvious your head isn’t in the game. You very obviously did not hear me. So I figure this has to do with Haley and what’s been going on.” Peter crossed his arms over his chest, the basketball still in one hand. “So I ask again. Have you talked to her?”
Johnny scowled at Peter’s persistence. It was one of his best and worst traits. He crossed his arms over his chest to go along with the scowl, hoping Peter would take it for the warning sign it was. Which, of course, he didn’t.
“Of course you haven’t. You’ve got your head too far up your ass to do anything that simple.”
“What?” Johnny asked, eyes going wide.
“You heard me. You’ve got your head so far up your ass that you can’t hear or see or think about anyone but yourself. This crap is killing you, both of you, and you’re being a stubborn jackass about it. Maybe if you talk to your wife, you could stop being such a brooding asshole.”
Johnny stared across the court at Peter. He was glad they were using the court at the Baxter Building. It was private. That meant no one would be witness to… whatever the hell this was going to become. “It isn’t that simple, Pete,” Johnny began. Peter frowned and Johnny found himself suddenly ducking for cover as the basketball once more flew toward his head.
“The hell it isn’t!” Peter responded. He looked as mad as Johnny ever saw him and it made Johnny wonder if his issues were affecting more people than he’d realized. “You and Haley are solid, man. One of the steadiest and sturdiest couples I’ve ever known. You guys never fight. You never let your problems sit and grow and turn toxic. You always talk things out. You’ve been together long enough that you know how to keep things from going bad. And you’re so butthurt that you’re going to let this crap sit between you and fester.”
“You can’t always fix everything with talk, Pete. You should know that,” Johnny shot back. He saw Pete’s face tighten with emotion. And then he was taking a ball upside the head again. Johnny shook the stars off in time to see the anger on his friend’s face become disappointment.
“You can if you try. Have you tried to talk to her? At all? Have you tried to fix this shit? Or have you kept your distance and brooded the whole time? Because this is all about your pain and nothing else. Right?”
“And how am I supposed to fix this, Pete? She slept with Summers, for fuck’s sake,” Johnny snapped, the thin control he had on his temper giving way far too easily.
“By talking to her, Johnny,” Peter responded.
“And what if talking doesn’t fix anything?” Johnny asked peevishly. Peter was being especially annoying about this whole deal.
“Well, then I guess its a good thing Haley has Scott to fall back on because that means none of the time you and she spent married meant anything to anyone but her. And she’s going to need his big, broad shoulder to cry on when she finds out just what kind of a coward you are.”
Peter’s words dug deep, bringing an ache to Johnny’s chest. Maybe Pete was right and Johnny should have tried talking to Haley. Maybe then he wouldn’t feel like his world was crashing down around him. But he just couldn’t. Not now. “It doesn’t matter anymore, Pete,” Johnny said, voice low and rough with pain.
“How can it not matter? You and Haley love one another. She’s been your life since… Its been a long time, Johnny. So how can it not matter?”
“She already made her choice!” Johnny spat, his mind once more filled with the memory of Haley curled tightly into Summers’ arms. Like it was exactly where she belonged and where she wanted to be.
“She… Wait. What? How? What the hell are you talking about because that doesn’t make any sense at all!” The look on Peter’s face was filled with confusion and disbelief. Johnny sighed. That meant telling him what had been going on. And he didn’t know if he could talk about it without losing his shit. The idea that Haley had already moved on felt like a punch to the gut. It left Johnny with a queasy feeling in his stomach that made him think he was going to puke all over the place.
“The last time I saw Haley, things were tense right from the start. I’d taken the kids to see her because TJ and Preston kept hounding me about seeing their mom. Summers was there. The atmosphere was uncomfortable. Spencer was a ball of rage and Cassie was asking all sorts of inappropriate questions.” Johnny glanced at Peter with a half-hearted, half smile on his face.”She’d make a good reporter some day because she doesn’t give up until she gets her answers.”
Pete stared at him a moment. “Persistence is a good quality for a reporter. Now quit stalling, ass. Tell my why you’re so convinced Haley’s already made her choice.
Johnny shot Pete a frown at his single-mindedness, but sighed and pushed on. “The awkwardness was disrupted by Dare joining us. And she looked… It was bad, Pete. I’ve never seen her look like that. She wobbled when standing. She looked like she hadn’t slept in weeks. She looked terrible.”
Peter frowned at that. He and Dare had spent a decent amount of time together over the years, and he’d offered his support to Haley when Dare had died at Creed’s hands. So Johnny felt certain the other man had no problems imagining just how bad things had gotten. Hell, Johnny hadn’t been able to get his last image of her from his mind since all this shit had gone down. It was another reminder just how bad this shit had gotten.
“I won’t bore you with all the details. Its a long story. But she left the room and just… disappeared. Which left me with questions because that isn’t something she’s ever been able to do. And no one got to explain it to me because the next thing we knew, Faye showed up to tell us Dare was in labor and so weak that Beast was sure she wouldn’t make it. An hour or so later, Roxxy showed up and she…” Johnny fell silent and shook his head. Tried hard not to recall how she’d torn into him like he was her prey and she was starving.
“What happened when Roxxy showed up, Johnny?” Peter asked. The anger was gone. So was much of the disappointment. There was curiosity there now, along with a healthy dose of concern. Johnny knew Peter had a good idea what had been going on with Haley and her friends. He’d heard about it from various sources.
“She told us that things were as bad as Faye had said they were. Dare almost died and Beast had to perform a c-section to save both her and the baby.” Johnny knew there was a pained expression on his face. It had come as such a shock to see how bad Dare looked. And then to find out she’d nearly died. Their relationship had started rough, but they’d become some kind of friends and he hadn’t liked seeing her brought so low. “Once she told us that both Dare and her baby were okay, Haley started crying. Then Summers was holding her, hugging her. And she let him. She sank into his hold.”
Pete stared at him for two full seconds before he snorted and shook his head. “You dumb ass.”
“What?” Johnny asked, uncertain what it was that had his friend upset this time.
“You let your temper get the better of you, didn’t you?” Peter asked him.
“What makes you ask such a thing?” Johnny asked in return.
Peter frowned and lifted the hand with the ball, a silent threat that he wasn’t going to put up with Johnny’s shit for much longer.
“Okay!” Johnny said, lifting his hands in a move meant to hold off another hit to the head. “Yes. I threw a punch. She’s my wife! And he was holding her! What the hell was I supposed to do?”
“Did you make an effort to hold Haley? Because she’d just found out how close she’d come to losing a friend. For a second time. Between that and everything else that’s happened in the past few weeks, her emotions are probably teetering on the brink. She needed someone to comfort her through her fear and grief. You didn’t step up so Scott did. You don’t get to be mad at him for that when you failed to do it yourself.”
“Well, it obviously doesn’t matter because she made her choice. Like I said.” Johnny couldn’t quite keep the petulance out of his tone. And he barely ducked in time to avoid the basketball as it shot straight toward his face. “Goddamn it, Peter! Would you stop that? Its like you’re trying to give me a concussion or some shit.”
“I’m not trying to give you a concussion, Johnathan,” Pete said, making sure to put emphasis on Johnny’s full first name. Thank God Pete hadn’t used his full name. “I’m trying to knock some damn sense into you. Because you apparently need it. Do you really think Haley chose Scott over you because she let him hug her? Really? Is that what you think?”
“I—” Johnny started, but his voice trailed off when Peter held the basketball up again.
“Think long and hard about how you answer me. Because if I don’t like your answer, I will put you in the hospital trying to bring you back to your rightful senses.” There was warning in Peter’s voice. And the look on his face told Johnny he absolutely meant what he said.
“I don’t know, Pete! Okay? I don’t know. All I do know is my world has been turned upside down and I don’t know how to fix it! It feels like I’m going to lose Haley to Summers and I don’t know how to stop it! Everything is so fucked up and I feel powerless to do anything about it!”
Johnny’s words echoed loudly around them, bouncing off the walls like they were made of the same thing as the ball Peter held. They echoed even louder inside his head, as if taunting him that his worst fears were absolutely true and he was going to lose the best thing that had ever happened to him. He didn’t realize that he was crying until he felt wetness against the skin of his hand.
Peter sighed and dropped the basketball. It bounced a few times before rolling away, the sound hollow and forlorn in the silence that had fallen between the two of them. It didn’t take Pete long to cross the distance between them. When he stood before Johnny, Pete’s hands came up to rest on Johnny’s shoulders. “You have everything you need to fix it. But you’ve got your head so far up your own ass, you can’t see that. You need to talk to Haley. You can fix things by simply communicating.”
“But her relationship with Summers…” Johnny protested.
“Do you know for a fact that Haley has thrown you over for Scott?” Peter asked, his voice filled with his skepticism. “Johnny. John. I’ve known Haley for a long time and I like to think I know her fairly well. Everything I know about her tells me she wouldn’t pick Scott over you and not talk to you about it.”
“She told me to leave,” Johnny admitted. Now that the tears were falling, they didn’t want to see to stop.
“Bro. I say this with every ounce of friendship I have for you. What the fuck?” Pete sounded exasperated, like he was on the verge of throwing his hands in the air and giving up. “Haley was stressed. She was afraid. She was sad. She needed comfort. You threw a punch. Of course she was going to order you to leave. From everything you’ve told me, you kind of got what you deserved.”
“Come on, Pete. That’s a little harsh,” Johnny protested.
“Is it? Really, Johnny? Is it? Because all I’m hearing is you’re the only one who’s having a crisis about what’s happened. You haven’t taken into consideration at all that Haley is having just as many problems as you are. Have you?” Pete frowned and crossed his arms. Johnny stared at him, eyes wide as what Pete was saying sank in.
“Oh. Shit.”
“Yeah, Johnny. I know this hasn’t been easy for you. I can’t be easy for anyone involved. But it seems to me like you forgot that. And that’s part of the problem. Isn’t it? You forgot that your wife, the woman you swore before God and half of New York City, to love and honor and cherish for the rest of your lives, no matter what troubles come your way, is dealing with the same big troubles you are. And let’s be real. You guys couldn’t be facing any bigger or worse troubles than what’s happening now.” Peter paused and stared at him, then shook his head. As if he didn’t like what he was seeing. Or he couldn’t believe it. “You forgot that your wife is struggling just as much as you are. You abandoned her when she needed you most, bro. No wonder she looked at home in Scott’s arms. Because she thought it was the only home she had.”
“Fuck,” Johnny said under his breath.
“You gave her no choice, man. You acted like you were done with her. You treated her like she’d committed the worst crime ever. You made her think you didn’t care. And you’re mad that she took solace from someone else? Dude, sort your shit out.”
“What do I do? What if I fucked it all up by being an ass? What if she doesn’t want me anymore?” The thought had Johnny on the verge of tears again. He knew for a fact that he was better with Haley. A better man. A better father. A better person. She made him want to be better in everything. And he’d been behaving like an absolute ass about this whole thing.
“Do you know for a fact that she doesn’t want you anymore, Johnny? Has she told you that or given any kind of proof that she’s throwing you aside for Scott?”
Pete’s words made Johnny stop and think, really think, about his encounters with Haley since she’d returned from where ever she’d been. There hadn’t been many conversations, but he didn’t think she’d ever once hinted at wanting to move on. And there had been the day Cassie had confronted him and asked him if he still loved Haley. She’d told him that Summers had said something about Haley wanting to work things out. Johnny had thought that it was just some childish wishful thinking on his daughter’s part. But what if it wasn’t? What if Cassie was right and Haley hadn’t given up on him yet?
“I don’t think Haley’s said anything about wanting out of our marriage,” Johnny said slowly, his mind still turning over their brief meetings. He didn’t recall anything. “I don’t remember her saying anything of the kind. Granted, my head has been up my ass. But I want to say that I would have noticed if she’d told me she was done with me. I hope I would have noticed.”
Pete offered Johnny a weird, lopsided smile. “There you go, then. It isn’t too late. But you need to talk to your wife, dumb ass. You need to sit down and ask her what she wants. Lay out what you want. See if those things mesh or if they diverge. And then go from there. Don’t just be an ignorant ass and assume she wants out of a relationship that she’s been in for years, one she’s been nothing but happy with for years, because Sinister messed with things.”
“You’re right, Pete,” Johnny replied, feeling some of the sadness lift. “You’re absolutely right. Thanks for helping me pull my head out of my ass. I’ve been so stupid about this whole thing.”
“You’re welcome. And its understandable, seeing as you’re stupid all the time,” Pete said, a smile one his face to ease the sting of his words. Then he was running and Johnny was hot on his trail, rusty, light-hearted laughter spilling from his throat as he chased after his best friend.
~*~*~*~*~
The door to the bathroom creaked open slowly, allowing steam to billow out into the bedroom. The bathroom’s lone occupant came hobbling out, one towel wrapped very loosely around her head and another wrapped precariously around her body. One hand held the towel closed while the other clutched tightly at the door’s frame. Hell, she was practically leaning against the jamb as she tried to rally her strength.
While she stood and caught her breath, tried to find the energy needed to walk a dozen or so steps to the bed, he took a moment to study what all of the bullshit had done to her. Dark half-moons hung under her eyes, stark against the paleness of her face. He wasn’t sure if her color was the same as it had been or if it had gotten worse. Of course, the midnight blue of the towel she clutched to her chest made the paleness that much more pronounced so it was hard to really tell. What he could tell was she’d lost weight. Not a lot, but enough that anyone who cared to look hard enough would see it. If he could get his hands on Sinister…
“I didn’t think you were supposed to be out of bed yet, Dare,” Scott said evenly. There was a moment, just a moment, where he thought he saw Dare tense in preparation of something. But it came and went before he could be certain. Finally, she lifted her gaze from the floor and met his stare head on. He was surprised to find that her look contained nothing of the anger he’d always seen there. Instead, her gaze was hollow and empty. Which he found odd, because Haley had mentioned to him when he’d come to give her a break that Dare had been chatty and hungry and in good spirits earlier.
“I needed a shower,” Dare told him, her tone flat. Her gaze shifted away and turned toward the bed. He saw the hesitation as she stared across the distance, then he saw the determination rise up to take its place. After another moment, Dare took a shuffling step forward. She was careful to keep a hand on the wall to help support her. But the step she took was a small one, and her limbs shook with the effort it took to move.
It was painful to watch.
Dare had barely managed three steps before Scott pushed away from the door and crossed the room to where she wobbled. It seemed she was focused so intently on putting one foot in front of the other that she didn’t realize he was there until he had one arm around her back and the other under her knees. She squeaked indignantly when he swung her up into a bridal carry, then fell silent as he carried her the short distance to the bed. When he set her down on the mattress, she said nothing. She simply held tight to her towel and refused to look at him.
He frowned at her lack of reaction. There was no anger. No swearing. No threats to set his ass on fire. She was quiet and subdued and he didn’t like it at all. Nor did he like that she’d felt frail. He wasn’t used to this version of Dare. The Dare he knew was cocky and arrogant. Angry. Capable. Strong. Determined. Scott had seen, more than she knew, just what kind of damage she could unleash on the world. There had been many times over the years. Most recently when she’d gone to Latveria to save Haley and tackle Doom. He thought it was a safe bet that Doom, when he’d healed, had been very unhappy with the extremely large hole Dare had punched through the rooftop of his castle.
This side of Dare, the silent and meek side, was one Scott didn’t know. This was a side he didn’t recognize. Not even when she’d come back from Creed’s RV had she been like this. He worried that Sinister holding her captive and forcing her into a situation that no doubt reminded her of Creed and his RV had done psychological damage that she would be unable to come back from. If that was the case, then Scott would have to lay the blame for her problems at his own feet. Because he’d failed her. Just like he’d failed everyone else. That was his cross to bear, his secret sin.
He would live with the regret and the guilt for the rest of his life. He knew it, could feel it nestling deep in his heart next to all of his other regrets and guilt. It was his job – no, his duty – as head of the X-Men to ensure that his teams were safe. That they came home the same way they left. And he’d failed in that duty so spectacularly this time. Relationships were in shambles. Lives had been disrupted. Health and happiness had damn near been destroyed all across the board. And it was his failure to stomach. His to keep tucked away and remembered so it didn’t happen again. His to remind him that he hadn’t been good enough or fast enough. That he just plain hadn’t been fucking enough.
“Damn it.” The softly muttered curse brought him out of his thoughts to find Dare was struggling with the towel she’d wrapped around her head. It had decided to slide to the side and she only had one hand available to try and resettle it. The other was clutched to the towel pressed against her chest. An effort to preserve her dignity. The guilt and regret dug a little deeper, while his anger boiled a little hotter.
“What clothes do you want?” he asked, turning for a dresser against the wall behind him.
“I can get them. I just need to catch my breath,” Dare told him. “And for you to leave.”
There was a touch of her normal self in the last of her statement. It was enough to bring a slight smile to his lips. Scott wiped that smile off and turned to face her. She’d given up on the towel around her hair. It lay on the floor, forgotten, while her hair hung wet against her face and back. Both hands now held the towel wrapped around her torso. And she absolutely was not looking at him, her gaze shifted to stare in the opposite direction. It did nothing to hide the faint touch of pink in her cheeks, which left him wondering just what was going on in her mind. He couldn’t remember a time when she’d ever avoided him like this. Hell, she made a point of looking him in the face so she could antagonize him. Like doing so was some kind of special calling. He wondered about it a moment, then shook the thought off. Something told him she wouldn’t give him any indication as to what she was thinking, not even under the threat of torture or death. And it wasn’t the most pressing matter at the moment.
“Well, unfortunately for you, I have no intention of leaving you alone. We have things to discuss. And I’m pretty sure you’d much rather be dressed when that happens. So let’s make this whole thing easier. Tell me where the clothes you need are and I’ll get them for you.”
“I am not asking you to bring me my panties, Summers,” Dare replied.
“I’ve seen a pair of panties before, Dare. Many times, in fact,” he returned.
“Not my panties!” she snapped. It might have been amusing save for the fact that, immediately following her statement, she seemed to deflate right before his eyes. Her shoulders slumped and her head hung a little. Then she heaved a sigh. One hand lifted away from the towel to motion at the dresser. “Second drawer from the bottom has t-shirts. One of those. Any of them, really. Top drawer has my underwear. Don’t be a perv about it.” The last part was meant to be a warning. Considering there was more resignation in her tone than threat, it came across sounding like a desperate plea than the warning it was intended to be.
He said nothing, simply went about gathering up the requested items. The t-shirts in the named drawer were all men’s t-shirts. Surprisingly, they weren’t all black. He went for one in the lightest shade he could find, which was grey. Then he opened the top drawer and picked up a pair of panties that were, not surprisingly, black. After closing the drawer, Scott took the two requested items to the bed and set them down next to Dare. She still refused to meet his gaze. Again, he wondered at it. But now wasn’t the time and he could always poke at it later. “I’m going to go stand by the door, with my back to you, so you can get dressed. No peeking. I promise.”
There was no response immediately forthcoming, so Scott turned and started toward the door. He’d gotten all of three steps away when he heard her voice, a whisper of sound in the silent room. “Boy scout.” That single word was filled to the brim with disgust. He swore there was disappointment in there, too, but he had to be hearing things. Mentally shaking his head at his imagination, he finished his trek and took up position in the open doorway. He made sure his back was faced her way to show her he was serious.
The soft rustle of fabric was the only sound to fill the silence between them. Scott expected that it would take her a decent stretch of time to get into her t-shirt and underwear, but it seemed he’d underestimated her ability to clothe herself because not much time passed between the second he heard the soft thump of her towel against the floor and when she next spoke. “Done.”
Scott turned back to find she was sitting up against the headboard. The t-shirt pooled in her lap and she looked like she was exhausted. But she met his gaze head on, her stare steady. And empty. Scott couldn’t hold back the frown that came at that. “Haley tells me you were cheery and chatty earlier. She said you polished off the last of Remy’s jambalaya.” He left the question he wanted to ask out of it, hoping that just that much would help pull Dare into a conversation. He’d known, coming into this, that her mental state wouldn’t be the best. He’d hoped it would be better than this, though. And it made him realize he was going to need to dig deep in order to assess her mental health. For that, he needed her to talk to him.
Dare gave him a look, maybe trying to figure out if he was spying for Haley. Then she sighed and closed her eyes. She took several slow, deep breaths, every other part of her perfectly still. The silence stretched to the point of uncomfortable before she heaved a soft sigh and opened her eyes again. When her gaze landed on him, it was dark and unending. Intense. As if she was looking for something from him. “Haley has enough to worry about without adding my shit to it,” she told him. The response was honest and to the point.
Scott stared at her a moment, then realization hit him and brought a touch of surprise with it. “You lied to her?”
“I did not lie. I told her the truth. The truth she needed to hear. Because she’s shouldering responsibility for everything that happened. Even though you and I both know that there was nothing she could have done to change the outcome. We were outclassed in every way. The only miracle is that we got a chance to offer up some resistance before the horsemen took us down.” It was a blatantly capable assessment of what had happened when Scott and his team had gone up against the horsemen. He suspected it had been much the same for Haley and the rest of Purple Team. And it served as a reminder that Dare was a leader in her own right. A good one, by the sounds of it, because she was putting the safety of the people around her front and center.
“You shouldn’t have done that, Dare. Haley deserves to know the truth,” he told her, his tone gentle and kind.
The snort she offered in return told him she thought he was full of shit.
“You have a problem with that?” he asked, curious about what had evoked such a response.
“Don’t talk to me about telling Haley the truth because that’s what she deserves when you can’t man up, Summers. She needs you. She needs that shithead of a husband of hers. But neither of you assholes can get past your egos to see that she’s about one feather’s weight away from collapsing under the stress of what all of this crap has done to us.”
Her words were delivered in a steady, even tone. One devoid of things like anger or accusation or anything, really. Just a straight forward statement of truth without an ounce of personal feelings attached to it. And it confirmed something he’d suspected for days now. Haley had no support system. And she kept pushing him away because … Hell, he wasn’t sure he could figure it out. Their personal relationship was about as fucked up as it could be, and so tangled up that it seemed the only way to fix it was to take a pair of scissors to it and cut all the snarled parts away. And he felt like that would mean getting rid of the bond between them. He didn’t like the ache in his chest that thought brought to life.
“I don’t think its that cut and dry, Dare. Your situation is different because of the relationship you had with Remy before this happened,” he pointed out.
“This isn’t about me and what kind of relationship I had with Remy before Sinister grabbed us,” she replied. It was a deflection technique and he’d expected it. He thought he detected a note of sorrow in those words, but it was gone almost before he noticed it. There was a story there. He didn’t have time to consider it further because she went on, her voice flat and empty again. “This is about my friend, who is convinced that she’s going to be alone for the rest of her life. She’s convinced she’s going to have to take care of her kids on her own. Because their fathers can’t get their shit together.”
Scott sighed. He didn’t want to get into this with Dare. He didn’t think she’d believe him if he told her that Haley was the one pushing him away. And he had the disadvantage of having to deal with Jean, who was becoming increasingly paranoid and bitchy about the whole thing. That wasn’t something that she needed to know, either. “I’m not here to discuss my personal life with you, Dare.” He made sure his tone told her that there would be no arguing about it. She stared at him for a moment or two, then crossed her arms over her chest and gave him a mildly questioning look.
“Then why are you here, Summers? Because surely its beneath you to babysit someone like me,” she remarked. She sounded tired. But there was nothing else there. He frowned, because there should have been some other kind of emotion there. Anger or annoyance. Something. The lack of emotion was definitely a sign. And not a good one. He sighed and moved to take a seat in the chair next to the bed. He noted that Dare watched him blankly, her arms now loose at her sides, her hands resting in her lap.
“I am not here to babysit,” he began. Her look never changed, but it still somehow made sure he knew she didn’t believe him for a second. For a moment, he considered asking her what she meant by her ‘someone like me’ comment, but he let it go. It would only delay the inevitable and it was obvious she wanted nothing to do with him. It made him think that Haley’s assessment of how her team felt about him had to be wrong. It looked like at least one of them still harbored bad memories about that stupid bet. “I came because Haley needed a break. And I needed to talk to you.”
Dare took a breath and held it a moment, then let it out with a sigh that sounded slightly put out. But she said nothing, so he took it as permission to get to his reason for being there. “You know you’re on maternity leave.”
She said nothing, but he again was left with the impression that she was silently suggesting he continue. He took a breath, one meant to fortify, and held her gaze with his own. It was meant as a sign of respect, though her lack of reaction made it difficult to know if she took it that way or not. He was certain this conversation wasn’t going to go well and he half wished that Haley was there with him as back up.
“I’m putting you on an extended leave until you get help for your PTSD,” he told her, making his delivery as gentle as he possibly could. He knew he tended to come off as authoritarian and dismissive, and those were not things he wanted to be when having such a delicate conversation. Dare needed to understand that he was doing this because he was worried about her. Whether she believed it or not, he cared about her. That included her health. “Your actions this past week are troubling. You engaged in reckless, dangerous behavior. Suicidal behavior. And I believe it is in your best interest for me to put you on an indefinite leave until you fully deal with your trauma.”
Dare still said nothing. She just stared at him with empty eyes. Scott frowned and wondered if she’d heard him. Maybe she was in some weird kind of shock. Maybe she still thought he was the same raging asshole she’d thought him to be all those years ago before Purple Team’s masterful evaluation. He hastened to try and convince her that such a thing wasn’t the case.
“I want you to know that I didn’t make this decision lightly. I know that the team is important to you. And I know that you are a good X-Man. Not only that, you’ve got all the qualities that point to a good leader. You did a damn good job leading a team when you rescued Haley,” he assured her. For a moment, he was back in that moment when the Blackbird had landed in Doom’s backyard and he’d stepped off the jet to find Ben Grimm carrying an obviously injured Haley. The relief he’d felt had been beyond words. “Thank you for that, by the way. For getting Haley back and returning her to us. I appreciate it. It took balls to stand up to Doom the way you did.”
His praise got him nothing, In fact, Dare looked bored. Was she processing anything he was saying?
“Please don’t think that I’m doing this for any reason other than I’m genuinely concerned for your well being,” he told her. “I’m not trying to remove you from the team. That’s not what this is about. This is about you having time to take care of issues that need attention. There should have been help for you when you first arrived at the school. Why you didn’t get the therapy you needed is beyond me.”
“We both know why,” she remarked, her voice so soft Scott almost didn’t hear her.
He didn’t need to be a mind reader to know she was talking about Xavier. And, for just the barest of moments, it was on the tip of Scott’s tongue to defend the professor. But the moment passed and the words died before they formed. Because Dare was right. It would have been so easy for Xavier to find someone who could have helped Dare with her trauma when she’d first come to the institute. There was no shortage of people who could have been there to walk her through her trauma. Who would have helped her work through it. And yet, Charles had blatantly ignored the delicate and precarious mental state of a teen aged girl who had not only suffered sexual assault at the hands of someone she’d liked, She’d then been forced to kill to survive after watching someone she’d been close to die right before her very eyes. Scott felt certain Xavier had intentionally ignored her needs because the anger she’d lived with for so long helped fuel her powers, helped make them stronger. In Scott’s opinion, that made Xavier no better than the people the X-Men fought against every time they went on a mission.
That also meant Scott was as much at fault as Xavier, because he’d seen Dare’s records. He’d seen for himself how deep her anger ran and what it was capable of. And he’d done nothing to help. He’d left her floundering with the demons that lived in her head. She’d deserved better than that then. And she deserved better than that now.
“I won’t deny you the right to train after Henry has declared you physically healthy. But you will not go on a mission with Purple Team or any other team until a mental health professional releases you to active duty. That includes your own team. I’m going to have a conversation with Duke the next time I see him to ensure he understands how serious this is.”
Scott let silence fall between them again, hoping that she’d say something. Or show some sign that she’d heard him and she understood. Anything, really, to convince him that she was alive. But, once again, she remained silent. Her stare was empty and it seemed to him that she was looking at nothing. Maybe the issue was more severe and much deeper ingrained than he’d originally thought. Scott frowned and attempted one last time to convince her this wasn’t done out of malice or as a means of punishment. She had to know that everyone was worried about her.
“I know we haven’t always seen eye to eye, Dare. I know you think I’m an uptight asshole who likes coming down on rule breakers,” he said, once again using as gentle a tone as he could. “I want you to understand that isn’t what this is. I am genuinely concerned about your mental health. You’ve never—”
“You can stop now, Summers,” she interrupted, her voice flat. The sound of it startled him into silence. He really hadn’t expected her to speak. And certainly not without ten thousand pounds of anger behind her words. He still didn’t like the lack of emotion there. But she wasn’t screaming at him, she wasn’t telling him to fuck himself, and she wasn’t trying to set him on fire. He’d take the wins where he could.
“Scott,” he corrected, drawing a mildly startled expression from her. It smoothed away almost instantly. “Please. Call me, Scott. We’ve known one another long enough that this should be a given by now. Not to mention, you’re a peer and, I hope, a friend.”
That got a reaction from her. The shock was almost comical on her face after so much nothing. And then her gaze was skittering away while twin spots of pale pink colored her cheeks. Not for the first time, he had to wonder why she was blushing. Blushing wasn’t really a thing Dare did much. So having her blush around him a few times over the course of the last half hour or so was intriguing and he really kind of wanted to know why.
“You don’t have to explain your reasons, Scott,” she said, tripping over his name a little. “You’re right to ground me. I’ve been incredibly irresponsible since we came back. Worse, I’ve been supremely stupid. There is something very wrong with me, no matter what anyone tries to tell me. I’m not even sure therapy will fix what’s wrong with me. But I need to do something, before I destroy everything I’ve worked for and love.”
The emotion he’d been looking for since he’d seen her step out of the bathroom made an appearance in a tear that rolled down her cheek to cling to her jaw for a short while before it dropped onto her shirt. It was just one tear, then there were no more. She still wouldn’t look at him and the blush had faded.
“Therapy is a good start,” he said, trying to make himself sound encouraging.
“I don’t know how…” she began, but trailed off and fell silent again. Then her gaze lifted to the door. A moment later, Remy strolled into the room. He had their daughter cradled in his arms and while there was a smile on his face, Scott thought he saw the questions the man wanted to ask crowding his gaze.
Scott took that as his cue and rose to his feet. “Get some rest, Dare. We’ll talk again later.” She nodded her head to let him know she understood what he hadn’t said. He turned his attention to the other man and tipped his head in greeting. “Remy.”
“Scott,” Remy replied. The lanky Cajun moved toward the bed and Scott watched as he so very carefully put the baby he held into Dare’s arms. The action prompted her to smile, an expression that was genuine and warm and so very unlike the one she’d worn only moments ago. Scott took it as a sign that things weren’t completely hopeless. That tidbit of information brought hope to his chest and a smile to his face. He’d just passed the door when he heard Dare speak.
“I thought you were going to let Petra get acquainted with Tam and the others.”
“She get fussy and want her mama,” Remy told her. There was warmth in his voice. A warmth borne of love and happiness. And it reminded him of the way Haley had looked at him. The way she’d smiled at him. The way she’d been with him before they’d come back.
Those images followed him as he crossed into the other room to check on Emilia. His mind replayed the way Remy and Dare had looked at one another. Recalled when he and Haley had looked at each other like that. When they’d laughed together, and touched one another, and held each other. And made love like there was nothing or no one else in the world for them.
God, but he missed it.
Chapter Forty: A Fresh Point of View
Fandom: the Marvel universe
Rating: 18 and up
Warnings: graphic violence, language, sex, dark themes, anything else i can toss in.
Disclaimer: the recognizable characters and places contained herein are the property of Marvel. i'm merely borrowing for the sake of entertainment. no money is being made from this venture. Haley belongs to
dazzledfirestar Morgan belongs toginevra Roxxy belongs tonanaeanaven Jehnna belongs to silverfox_chan and Dare belongs to me. the concept and title of The Mary Sue Virus are used with permission from dazzledfirestar . Author's Notes: this is almost entirely Daz's fault. okay. so it really isn't. its actually almost 100% my fault. Daz just did a whole lot of encouraging. this fic is going to be kind of dark, so please keep that in mind while reading.
Among the Strong - the index
She’d looked so at home in Summers’ arms. As if she’d always belonged there. It had felt like a slap in the face then and it still felt like one now. Days later and all he could see, all he knew, was that Summers had touched another man’s wife, his wife, and that she’d accepted it. Haley had accepted it. She’d welcomed it. The anger he’d felt that day rose to fill him once again. The urge to punch the son-of-a-bitch square in the mouth roared through him like a fire feasting on dead wood a second time. His fingers even curled into a fist. As if he could punch a memory.
Following on that feeling was the disbelief that had come when Haley had so coldly ordered him to leave. He could still see her face and the anger there. He could still see the way she’d gone pale. It was a precursor to her powers activating. He’d seen it happen more than once during their years together. Her eyes had flashed a deep, dark green. There’d been power in her voice. And he swore he’d seen her skin glimmer and shine. Just for a moment.
And then the pain of being told to leave had hit him. Square in the chest, As if she’d punched him there herself, her fist a ball of stone made to hurt and destroy. It had felt as if his heart was trying to explode. Hell, it had felt like the world was ending right then and there.
That imagined pain was gone in a flash, replaced with a real pain when a very solid, very real basketball hit him in the side of the head with force. “Are you listening to me, jackass?”
“Ow! What the hell, Pete?” Johnny turned to face his best friend. Peter stared at him, his expression saying very plainly that he was upset. The basketball was held in his hands, as if it had never hit him upside the head.
“I asked you if you were listening to me. Given what you just said, obviously not.” Pete’s frown got bigger. Johnny recognized the look the other man was wearing. He was sure he wasn’t going to like whatever his friend was going to say. “Have you talked to your wife yet?”
He was right.
“Again. What the hell, Pete?” Johnny demanded, hand rubbing absently over the spot where the ball had hit him. He hoped he didn’t end up with a knot.
“You’re distracted. I asked you four times if you wanted to call it quits because its so obvious your head isn’t in the game. You very obviously did not hear me. So I figure this has to do with Haley and what’s been going on.” Peter crossed his arms over his chest, the basketball still in one hand. “So I ask again. Have you talked to her?”
Johnny scowled at Peter’s persistence. It was one of his best and worst traits. He crossed his arms over his chest to go along with the scowl, hoping Peter would take it for the warning sign it was. Which, of course, he didn’t.
“Of course you haven’t. You’ve got your head too far up your ass to do anything that simple.”
“What?” Johnny asked, eyes going wide.
“You heard me. You’ve got your head so far up your ass that you can’t hear or see or think about anyone but yourself. This crap is killing you, both of you, and you’re being a stubborn jackass about it. Maybe if you talk to your wife, you could stop being such a brooding asshole.”
Johnny stared across the court at Peter. He was glad they were using the court at the Baxter Building. It was private. That meant no one would be witness to… whatever the hell this was going to become. “It isn’t that simple, Pete,” Johnny began. Peter frowned and Johnny found himself suddenly ducking for cover as the basketball once more flew toward his head.
“The hell it isn’t!” Peter responded. He looked as mad as Johnny ever saw him and it made Johnny wonder if his issues were affecting more people than he’d realized. “You and Haley are solid, man. One of the steadiest and sturdiest couples I’ve ever known. You guys never fight. You never let your problems sit and grow and turn toxic. You always talk things out. You’ve been together long enough that you know how to keep things from going bad. And you’re so butthurt that you’re going to let this crap sit between you and fester.”
“You can’t always fix everything with talk, Pete. You should know that,” Johnny shot back. He saw Pete’s face tighten with emotion. And then he was taking a ball upside the head again. Johnny shook the stars off in time to see the anger on his friend’s face become disappointment.
“You can if you try. Have you tried to talk to her? At all? Have you tried to fix this shit? Or have you kept your distance and brooded the whole time? Because this is all about your pain and nothing else. Right?”
“And how am I supposed to fix this, Pete? She slept with Summers, for fuck’s sake,” Johnny snapped, the thin control he had on his temper giving way far too easily.
“By talking to her, Johnny,” Peter responded.
“And what if talking doesn’t fix anything?” Johnny asked peevishly. Peter was being especially annoying about this whole deal.
“Well, then I guess its a good thing Haley has Scott to fall back on because that means none of the time you and she spent married meant anything to anyone but her. And she’s going to need his big, broad shoulder to cry on when she finds out just what kind of a coward you are.”
Peter’s words dug deep, bringing an ache to Johnny’s chest. Maybe Pete was right and Johnny should have tried talking to Haley. Maybe then he wouldn’t feel like his world was crashing down around him. But he just couldn’t. Not now. “It doesn’t matter anymore, Pete,” Johnny said, voice low and rough with pain.
“How can it not matter? You and Haley love one another. She’s been your life since… Its been a long time, Johnny. So how can it not matter?”
“She already made her choice!” Johnny spat, his mind once more filled with the memory of Haley curled tightly into Summers’ arms. Like it was exactly where she belonged and where she wanted to be.
“She… Wait. What? How? What the hell are you talking about because that doesn’t make any sense at all!” The look on Peter’s face was filled with confusion and disbelief. Johnny sighed. That meant telling him what had been going on. And he didn’t know if he could talk about it without losing his shit. The idea that Haley had already moved on felt like a punch to the gut. It left Johnny with a queasy feeling in his stomach that made him think he was going to puke all over the place.
“The last time I saw Haley, things were tense right from the start. I’d taken the kids to see her because TJ and Preston kept hounding me about seeing their mom. Summers was there. The atmosphere was uncomfortable. Spencer was a ball of rage and Cassie was asking all sorts of inappropriate questions.” Johnny glanced at Peter with a half-hearted, half smile on his face.”She’d make a good reporter some day because she doesn’t give up until she gets her answers.”
Pete stared at him a moment. “Persistence is a good quality for a reporter. Now quit stalling, ass. Tell my why you’re so convinced Haley’s already made her choice.
Johnny shot Pete a frown at his single-mindedness, but sighed and pushed on. “The awkwardness was disrupted by Dare joining us. And she looked… It was bad, Pete. I’ve never seen her look like that. She wobbled when standing. She looked like she hadn’t slept in weeks. She looked terrible.”
Peter frowned at that. He and Dare had spent a decent amount of time together over the years, and he’d offered his support to Haley when Dare had died at Creed’s hands. So Johnny felt certain the other man had no problems imagining just how bad things had gotten. Hell, Johnny hadn’t been able to get his last image of her from his mind since all this shit had gone down. It was another reminder just how bad this shit had gotten.
“I won’t bore you with all the details. Its a long story. But she left the room and just… disappeared. Which left me with questions because that isn’t something she’s ever been able to do. And no one got to explain it to me because the next thing we knew, Faye showed up to tell us Dare was in labor and so weak that Beast was sure she wouldn’t make it. An hour or so later, Roxxy showed up and she…” Johnny fell silent and shook his head. Tried hard not to recall how she’d torn into him like he was her prey and she was starving.
“What happened when Roxxy showed up, Johnny?” Peter asked. The anger was gone. So was much of the disappointment. There was curiosity there now, along with a healthy dose of concern. Johnny knew Peter had a good idea what had been going on with Haley and her friends. He’d heard about it from various sources.
“She told us that things were as bad as Faye had said they were. Dare almost died and Beast had to perform a c-section to save both her and the baby.” Johnny knew there was a pained expression on his face. It had come as such a shock to see how bad Dare looked. And then to find out she’d nearly died. Their relationship had started rough, but they’d become some kind of friends and he hadn’t liked seeing her brought so low. “Once she told us that both Dare and her baby were okay, Haley started crying. Then Summers was holding her, hugging her. And she let him. She sank into his hold.”
Pete stared at him for two full seconds before he snorted and shook his head. “You dumb ass.”
“What?” Johnny asked, uncertain what it was that had his friend upset this time.
“You let your temper get the better of you, didn’t you?” Peter asked him.
“What makes you ask such a thing?” Johnny asked in return.
Peter frowned and lifted the hand with the ball, a silent threat that he wasn’t going to put up with Johnny’s shit for much longer.
“Okay!” Johnny said, lifting his hands in a move meant to hold off another hit to the head. “Yes. I threw a punch. She’s my wife! And he was holding her! What the hell was I supposed to do?”
“Did you make an effort to hold Haley? Because she’d just found out how close she’d come to losing a friend. For a second time. Between that and everything else that’s happened in the past few weeks, her emotions are probably teetering on the brink. She needed someone to comfort her through her fear and grief. You didn’t step up so Scott did. You don’t get to be mad at him for that when you failed to do it yourself.”
“Well, it obviously doesn’t matter because she made her choice. Like I said.” Johnny couldn’t quite keep the petulance out of his tone. And he barely ducked in time to avoid the basketball as it shot straight toward his face. “Goddamn it, Peter! Would you stop that? Its like you’re trying to give me a concussion or some shit.”
“I’m not trying to give you a concussion, Johnathan,” Pete said, making sure to put emphasis on Johnny’s full first name. Thank God Pete hadn’t used his full name. “I’m trying to knock some damn sense into you. Because you apparently need it. Do you really think Haley chose Scott over you because she let him hug her? Really? Is that what you think?”
“I—” Johnny started, but his voice trailed off when Peter held the basketball up again.
“Think long and hard about how you answer me. Because if I don’t like your answer, I will put you in the hospital trying to bring you back to your rightful senses.” There was warning in Peter’s voice. And the look on his face told Johnny he absolutely meant what he said.
“I don’t know, Pete! Okay? I don’t know. All I do know is my world has been turned upside down and I don’t know how to fix it! It feels like I’m going to lose Haley to Summers and I don’t know how to stop it! Everything is so fucked up and I feel powerless to do anything about it!”
Johnny’s words echoed loudly around them, bouncing off the walls like they were made of the same thing as the ball Peter held. They echoed even louder inside his head, as if taunting him that his worst fears were absolutely true and he was going to lose the best thing that had ever happened to him. He didn’t realize that he was crying until he felt wetness against the skin of his hand.
Peter sighed and dropped the basketball. It bounced a few times before rolling away, the sound hollow and forlorn in the silence that had fallen between the two of them. It didn’t take Pete long to cross the distance between them. When he stood before Johnny, Pete’s hands came up to rest on Johnny’s shoulders. “You have everything you need to fix it. But you’ve got your head so far up your own ass, you can’t see that. You need to talk to Haley. You can fix things by simply communicating.”
“But her relationship with Summers…” Johnny protested.
“Do you know for a fact that Haley has thrown you over for Scott?” Peter asked, his voice filled with his skepticism. “Johnny. John. I’ve known Haley for a long time and I like to think I know her fairly well. Everything I know about her tells me she wouldn’t pick Scott over you and not talk to you about it.”
“She told me to leave,” Johnny admitted. Now that the tears were falling, they didn’t want to see to stop.
“Bro. I say this with every ounce of friendship I have for you. What the fuck?” Pete sounded exasperated, like he was on the verge of throwing his hands in the air and giving up. “Haley was stressed. She was afraid. She was sad. She needed comfort. You threw a punch. Of course she was going to order you to leave. From everything you’ve told me, you kind of got what you deserved.”
“Come on, Pete. That’s a little harsh,” Johnny protested.
“Is it? Really, Johnny? Is it? Because all I’m hearing is you’re the only one who’s having a crisis about what’s happened. You haven’t taken into consideration at all that Haley is having just as many problems as you are. Have you?” Pete frowned and crossed his arms. Johnny stared at him, eyes wide as what Pete was saying sank in.
“Oh. Shit.”
“Yeah, Johnny. I know this hasn’t been easy for you. I can’t be easy for anyone involved. But it seems to me like you forgot that. And that’s part of the problem. Isn’t it? You forgot that your wife, the woman you swore before God and half of New York City, to love and honor and cherish for the rest of your lives, no matter what troubles come your way, is dealing with the same big troubles you are. And let’s be real. You guys couldn’t be facing any bigger or worse troubles than what’s happening now.” Peter paused and stared at him, then shook his head. As if he didn’t like what he was seeing. Or he couldn’t believe it. “You forgot that your wife is struggling just as much as you are. You abandoned her when she needed you most, bro. No wonder she looked at home in Scott’s arms. Because she thought it was the only home she had.”
“Fuck,” Johnny said under his breath.
“You gave her no choice, man. You acted like you were done with her. You treated her like she’d committed the worst crime ever. You made her think you didn’t care. And you’re mad that she took solace from someone else? Dude, sort your shit out.”
“What do I do? What if I fucked it all up by being an ass? What if she doesn’t want me anymore?” The thought had Johnny on the verge of tears again. He knew for a fact that he was better with Haley. A better man. A better father. A better person. She made him want to be better in everything. And he’d been behaving like an absolute ass about this whole thing.
“Do you know for a fact that she doesn’t want you anymore, Johnny? Has she told you that or given any kind of proof that she’s throwing you aside for Scott?”
Pete’s words made Johnny stop and think, really think, about his encounters with Haley since she’d returned from where ever she’d been. There hadn’t been many conversations, but he didn’t think she’d ever once hinted at wanting to move on. And there had been the day Cassie had confronted him and asked him if he still loved Haley. She’d told him that Summers had said something about Haley wanting to work things out. Johnny had thought that it was just some childish wishful thinking on his daughter’s part. But what if it wasn’t? What if Cassie was right and Haley hadn’t given up on him yet?
“I don’t think Haley’s said anything about wanting out of our marriage,” Johnny said slowly, his mind still turning over their brief meetings. He didn’t recall anything. “I don’t remember her saying anything of the kind. Granted, my head has been up my ass. But I want to say that I would have noticed if she’d told me she was done with me. I hope I would have noticed.”
Pete offered Johnny a weird, lopsided smile. “There you go, then. It isn’t too late. But you need to talk to your wife, dumb ass. You need to sit down and ask her what she wants. Lay out what you want. See if those things mesh or if they diverge. And then go from there. Don’t just be an ignorant ass and assume she wants out of a relationship that she’s been in for years, one she’s been nothing but happy with for years, because Sinister messed with things.”
“You’re right, Pete,” Johnny replied, feeling some of the sadness lift. “You’re absolutely right. Thanks for helping me pull my head out of my ass. I’ve been so stupid about this whole thing.”
“You’re welcome. And its understandable, seeing as you’re stupid all the time,” Pete said, a smile one his face to ease the sting of his words. Then he was running and Johnny was hot on his trail, rusty, light-hearted laughter spilling from his throat as he chased after his best friend.
~*~*~*~*~
The door to the bathroom creaked open slowly, allowing steam to billow out into the bedroom. The bathroom’s lone occupant came hobbling out, one towel wrapped very loosely around her head and another wrapped precariously around her body. One hand held the towel closed while the other clutched tightly at the door’s frame. Hell, she was practically leaning against the jamb as she tried to rally her strength.
While she stood and caught her breath, tried to find the energy needed to walk a dozen or so steps to the bed, he took a moment to study what all of the bullshit had done to her. Dark half-moons hung under her eyes, stark against the paleness of her face. He wasn’t sure if her color was the same as it had been or if it had gotten worse. Of course, the midnight blue of the towel she clutched to her chest made the paleness that much more pronounced so it was hard to really tell. What he could tell was she’d lost weight. Not a lot, but enough that anyone who cared to look hard enough would see it. If he could get his hands on Sinister…
“I didn’t think you were supposed to be out of bed yet, Dare,” Scott said evenly. There was a moment, just a moment, where he thought he saw Dare tense in preparation of something. But it came and went before he could be certain. Finally, she lifted her gaze from the floor and met his stare head on. He was surprised to find that her look contained nothing of the anger he’d always seen there. Instead, her gaze was hollow and empty. Which he found odd, because Haley had mentioned to him when he’d come to give her a break that Dare had been chatty and hungry and in good spirits earlier.
“I needed a shower,” Dare told him, her tone flat. Her gaze shifted away and turned toward the bed. He saw the hesitation as she stared across the distance, then he saw the determination rise up to take its place. After another moment, Dare took a shuffling step forward. She was careful to keep a hand on the wall to help support her. But the step she took was a small one, and her limbs shook with the effort it took to move.
It was painful to watch.
Dare had barely managed three steps before Scott pushed away from the door and crossed the room to where she wobbled. It seemed she was focused so intently on putting one foot in front of the other that she didn’t realize he was there until he had one arm around her back and the other under her knees. She squeaked indignantly when he swung her up into a bridal carry, then fell silent as he carried her the short distance to the bed. When he set her down on the mattress, she said nothing. She simply held tight to her towel and refused to look at him.
He frowned at her lack of reaction. There was no anger. No swearing. No threats to set his ass on fire. She was quiet and subdued and he didn’t like it at all. Nor did he like that she’d felt frail. He wasn’t used to this version of Dare. The Dare he knew was cocky and arrogant. Angry. Capable. Strong. Determined. Scott had seen, more than she knew, just what kind of damage she could unleash on the world. There had been many times over the years. Most recently when she’d gone to Latveria to save Haley and tackle Doom. He thought it was a safe bet that Doom, when he’d healed, had been very unhappy with the extremely large hole Dare had punched through the rooftop of his castle.
This side of Dare, the silent and meek side, was one Scott didn’t know. This was a side he didn’t recognize. Not even when she’d come back from Creed’s RV had she been like this. He worried that Sinister holding her captive and forcing her into a situation that no doubt reminded her of Creed and his RV had done psychological damage that she would be unable to come back from. If that was the case, then Scott would have to lay the blame for her problems at his own feet. Because he’d failed her. Just like he’d failed everyone else. That was his cross to bear, his secret sin.
He would live with the regret and the guilt for the rest of his life. He knew it, could feel it nestling deep in his heart next to all of his other regrets and guilt. It was his job – no, his duty – as head of the X-Men to ensure that his teams were safe. That they came home the same way they left. And he’d failed in that duty so spectacularly this time. Relationships were in shambles. Lives had been disrupted. Health and happiness had damn near been destroyed all across the board. And it was his failure to stomach. His to keep tucked away and remembered so it didn’t happen again. His to remind him that he hadn’t been good enough or fast enough. That he just plain hadn’t been fucking enough.
“Damn it.” The softly muttered curse brought him out of his thoughts to find Dare was struggling with the towel she’d wrapped around her head. It had decided to slide to the side and she only had one hand available to try and resettle it. The other was clutched to the towel pressed against her chest. An effort to preserve her dignity. The guilt and regret dug a little deeper, while his anger boiled a little hotter.
“What clothes do you want?” he asked, turning for a dresser against the wall behind him.
“I can get them. I just need to catch my breath,” Dare told him. “And for you to leave.”
There was a touch of her normal self in the last of her statement. It was enough to bring a slight smile to his lips. Scott wiped that smile off and turned to face her. She’d given up on the towel around her hair. It lay on the floor, forgotten, while her hair hung wet against her face and back. Both hands now held the towel wrapped around her torso. And she absolutely was not looking at him, her gaze shifted to stare in the opposite direction. It did nothing to hide the faint touch of pink in her cheeks, which left him wondering just what was going on in her mind. He couldn’t remember a time when she’d ever avoided him like this. Hell, she made a point of looking him in the face so she could antagonize him. Like doing so was some kind of special calling. He wondered about it a moment, then shook the thought off. Something told him she wouldn’t give him any indication as to what she was thinking, not even under the threat of torture or death. And it wasn’t the most pressing matter at the moment.
“Well, unfortunately for you, I have no intention of leaving you alone. We have things to discuss. And I’m pretty sure you’d much rather be dressed when that happens. So let’s make this whole thing easier. Tell me where the clothes you need are and I’ll get them for you.”
“I am not asking you to bring me my panties, Summers,” Dare replied.
“I’ve seen a pair of panties before, Dare. Many times, in fact,” he returned.
“Not my panties!” she snapped. It might have been amusing save for the fact that, immediately following her statement, she seemed to deflate right before his eyes. Her shoulders slumped and her head hung a little. Then she heaved a sigh. One hand lifted away from the towel to motion at the dresser. “Second drawer from the bottom has t-shirts. One of those. Any of them, really. Top drawer has my underwear. Don’t be a perv about it.” The last part was meant to be a warning. Considering there was more resignation in her tone than threat, it came across sounding like a desperate plea than the warning it was intended to be.
He said nothing, simply went about gathering up the requested items. The t-shirts in the named drawer were all men’s t-shirts. Surprisingly, they weren’t all black. He went for one in the lightest shade he could find, which was grey. Then he opened the top drawer and picked up a pair of panties that were, not surprisingly, black. After closing the drawer, Scott took the two requested items to the bed and set them down next to Dare. She still refused to meet his gaze. Again, he wondered at it. But now wasn’t the time and he could always poke at it later. “I’m going to go stand by the door, with my back to you, so you can get dressed. No peeking. I promise.”
There was no response immediately forthcoming, so Scott turned and started toward the door. He’d gotten all of three steps away when he heard her voice, a whisper of sound in the silent room. “Boy scout.” That single word was filled to the brim with disgust. He swore there was disappointment in there, too, but he had to be hearing things. Mentally shaking his head at his imagination, he finished his trek and took up position in the open doorway. He made sure his back was faced her way to show her he was serious.
The soft rustle of fabric was the only sound to fill the silence between them. Scott expected that it would take her a decent stretch of time to get into her t-shirt and underwear, but it seemed he’d underestimated her ability to clothe herself because not much time passed between the second he heard the soft thump of her towel against the floor and when she next spoke. “Done.”
Scott turned back to find she was sitting up against the headboard. The t-shirt pooled in her lap and she looked like she was exhausted. But she met his gaze head on, her stare steady. And empty. Scott couldn’t hold back the frown that came at that. “Haley tells me you were cheery and chatty earlier. She said you polished off the last of Remy’s jambalaya.” He left the question he wanted to ask out of it, hoping that just that much would help pull Dare into a conversation. He’d known, coming into this, that her mental state wouldn’t be the best. He’d hoped it would be better than this, though. And it made him realize he was going to need to dig deep in order to assess her mental health. For that, he needed her to talk to him.
Dare gave him a look, maybe trying to figure out if he was spying for Haley. Then she sighed and closed her eyes. She took several slow, deep breaths, every other part of her perfectly still. The silence stretched to the point of uncomfortable before she heaved a soft sigh and opened her eyes again. When her gaze landed on him, it was dark and unending. Intense. As if she was looking for something from him. “Haley has enough to worry about without adding my shit to it,” she told him. The response was honest and to the point.
Scott stared at her a moment, then realization hit him and brought a touch of surprise with it. “You lied to her?”
“I did not lie. I told her the truth. The truth she needed to hear. Because she’s shouldering responsibility for everything that happened. Even though you and I both know that there was nothing she could have done to change the outcome. We were outclassed in every way. The only miracle is that we got a chance to offer up some resistance before the horsemen took us down.” It was a blatantly capable assessment of what had happened when Scott and his team had gone up against the horsemen. He suspected it had been much the same for Haley and the rest of Purple Team. And it served as a reminder that Dare was a leader in her own right. A good one, by the sounds of it, because she was putting the safety of the people around her front and center.
“You shouldn’t have done that, Dare. Haley deserves to know the truth,” he told her, his tone gentle and kind.
The snort she offered in return told him she thought he was full of shit.
“You have a problem with that?” he asked, curious about what had evoked such a response.
“Don’t talk to me about telling Haley the truth because that’s what she deserves when you can’t man up, Summers. She needs you. She needs that shithead of a husband of hers. But neither of you assholes can get past your egos to see that she’s about one feather’s weight away from collapsing under the stress of what all of this crap has done to us.”
Her words were delivered in a steady, even tone. One devoid of things like anger or accusation or anything, really. Just a straight forward statement of truth without an ounce of personal feelings attached to it. And it confirmed something he’d suspected for days now. Haley had no support system. And she kept pushing him away because … Hell, he wasn’t sure he could figure it out. Their personal relationship was about as fucked up as it could be, and so tangled up that it seemed the only way to fix it was to take a pair of scissors to it and cut all the snarled parts away. And he felt like that would mean getting rid of the bond between them. He didn’t like the ache in his chest that thought brought to life.
“I don’t think its that cut and dry, Dare. Your situation is different because of the relationship you had with Remy before this happened,” he pointed out.
“This isn’t about me and what kind of relationship I had with Remy before Sinister grabbed us,” she replied. It was a deflection technique and he’d expected it. He thought he detected a note of sorrow in those words, but it was gone almost before he noticed it. There was a story there. He didn’t have time to consider it further because she went on, her voice flat and empty again. “This is about my friend, who is convinced that she’s going to be alone for the rest of her life. She’s convinced she’s going to have to take care of her kids on her own. Because their fathers can’t get their shit together.”
Scott sighed. He didn’t want to get into this with Dare. He didn’t think she’d believe him if he told her that Haley was the one pushing him away. And he had the disadvantage of having to deal with Jean, who was becoming increasingly paranoid and bitchy about the whole thing. That wasn’t something that she needed to know, either. “I’m not here to discuss my personal life with you, Dare.” He made sure his tone told her that there would be no arguing about it. She stared at him for a moment or two, then crossed her arms over her chest and gave him a mildly questioning look.
“Then why are you here, Summers? Because surely its beneath you to babysit someone like me,” she remarked. She sounded tired. But there was nothing else there. He frowned, because there should have been some other kind of emotion there. Anger or annoyance. Something. The lack of emotion was definitely a sign. And not a good one. He sighed and moved to take a seat in the chair next to the bed. He noted that Dare watched him blankly, her arms now loose at her sides, her hands resting in her lap.
“I am not here to babysit,” he began. Her look never changed, but it still somehow made sure he knew she didn’t believe him for a second. For a moment, he considered asking her what she meant by her ‘someone like me’ comment, but he let it go. It would only delay the inevitable and it was obvious she wanted nothing to do with him. It made him think that Haley’s assessment of how her team felt about him had to be wrong. It looked like at least one of them still harbored bad memories about that stupid bet. “I came because Haley needed a break. And I needed to talk to you.”
Dare took a breath and held it a moment, then let it out with a sigh that sounded slightly put out. But she said nothing, so he took it as permission to get to his reason for being there. “You know you’re on maternity leave.”
She said nothing, but he again was left with the impression that she was silently suggesting he continue. He took a breath, one meant to fortify, and held her gaze with his own. It was meant as a sign of respect, though her lack of reaction made it difficult to know if she took it that way or not. He was certain this conversation wasn’t going to go well and he half wished that Haley was there with him as back up.
“I’m putting you on an extended leave until you get help for your PTSD,” he told her, making his delivery as gentle as he possibly could. He knew he tended to come off as authoritarian and dismissive, and those were not things he wanted to be when having such a delicate conversation. Dare needed to understand that he was doing this because he was worried about her. Whether she believed it or not, he cared about her. That included her health. “Your actions this past week are troubling. You engaged in reckless, dangerous behavior. Suicidal behavior. And I believe it is in your best interest for me to put you on an indefinite leave until you fully deal with your trauma.”
Dare still said nothing. She just stared at him with empty eyes. Scott frowned and wondered if she’d heard him. Maybe she was in some weird kind of shock. Maybe she still thought he was the same raging asshole she’d thought him to be all those years ago before Purple Team’s masterful evaluation. He hastened to try and convince her that such a thing wasn’t the case.
“I want you to know that I didn’t make this decision lightly. I know that the team is important to you. And I know that you are a good X-Man. Not only that, you’ve got all the qualities that point to a good leader. You did a damn good job leading a team when you rescued Haley,” he assured her. For a moment, he was back in that moment when the Blackbird had landed in Doom’s backyard and he’d stepped off the jet to find Ben Grimm carrying an obviously injured Haley. The relief he’d felt had been beyond words. “Thank you for that, by the way. For getting Haley back and returning her to us. I appreciate it. It took balls to stand up to Doom the way you did.”
His praise got him nothing, In fact, Dare looked bored. Was she processing anything he was saying?
“Please don’t think that I’m doing this for any reason other than I’m genuinely concerned for your well being,” he told her. “I’m not trying to remove you from the team. That’s not what this is about. This is about you having time to take care of issues that need attention. There should have been help for you when you first arrived at the school. Why you didn’t get the therapy you needed is beyond me.”
“We both know why,” she remarked, her voice so soft Scott almost didn’t hear her.
He didn’t need to be a mind reader to know she was talking about Xavier. And, for just the barest of moments, it was on the tip of Scott’s tongue to defend the professor. But the moment passed and the words died before they formed. Because Dare was right. It would have been so easy for Xavier to find someone who could have helped Dare with her trauma when she’d first come to the institute. There was no shortage of people who could have been there to walk her through her trauma. Who would have helped her work through it. And yet, Charles had blatantly ignored the delicate and precarious mental state of a teen aged girl who had not only suffered sexual assault at the hands of someone she’d liked, She’d then been forced to kill to survive after watching someone she’d been close to die right before her very eyes. Scott felt certain Xavier had intentionally ignored her needs because the anger she’d lived with for so long helped fuel her powers, helped make them stronger. In Scott’s opinion, that made Xavier no better than the people the X-Men fought against every time they went on a mission.
That also meant Scott was as much at fault as Xavier, because he’d seen Dare’s records. He’d seen for himself how deep her anger ran and what it was capable of. And he’d done nothing to help. He’d left her floundering with the demons that lived in her head. She’d deserved better than that then. And she deserved better than that now.
“I won’t deny you the right to train after Henry has declared you physically healthy. But you will not go on a mission with Purple Team or any other team until a mental health professional releases you to active duty. That includes your own team. I’m going to have a conversation with Duke the next time I see him to ensure he understands how serious this is.”
Scott let silence fall between them again, hoping that she’d say something. Or show some sign that she’d heard him and she understood. Anything, really, to convince him that she was alive. But, once again, she remained silent. Her stare was empty and it seemed to him that she was looking at nothing. Maybe the issue was more severe and much deeper ingrained than he’d originally thought. Scott frowned and attempted one last time to convince her this wasn’t done out of malice or as a means of punishment. She had to know that everyone was worried about her.
“I know we haven’t always seen eye to eye, Dare. I know you think I’m an uptight asshole who likes coming down on rule breakers,” he said, once again using as gentle a tone as he could. “I want you to understand that isn’t what this is. I am genuinely concerned about your mental health. You’ve never—”
“You can stop now, Summers,” she interrupted, her voice flat. The sound of it startled him into silence. He really hadn’t expected her to speak. And certainly not without ten thousand pounds of anger behind her words. He still didn’t like the lack of emotion there. But she wasn’t screaming at him, she wasn’t telling him to fuck himself, and she wasn’t trying to set him on fire. He’d take the wins where he could.
“Scott,” he corrected, drawing a mildly startled expression from her. It smoothed away almost instantly. “Please. Call me, Scott. We’ve known one another long enough that this should be a given by now. Not to mention, you’re a peer and, I hope, a friend.”
That got a reaction from her. The shock was almost comical on her face after so much nothing. And then her gaze was skittering away while twin spots of pale pink colored her cheeks. Not for the first time, he had to wonder why she was blushing. Blushing wasn’t really a thing Dare did much. So having her blush around him a few times over the course of the last half hour or so was intriguing and he really kind of wanted to know why.
“You don’t have to explain your reasons, Scott,” she said, tripping over his name a little. “You’re right to ground me. I’ve been incredibly irresponsible since we came back. Worse, I’ve been supremely stupid. There is something very wrong with me, no matter what anyone tries to tell me. I’m not even sure therapy will fix what’s wrong with me. But I need to do something, before I destroy everything I’ve worked for and love.”
The emotion he’d been looking for since he’d seen her step out of the bathroom made an appearance in a tear that rolled down her cheek to cling to her jaw for a short while before it dropped onto her shirt. It was just one tear, then there were no more. She still wouldn’t look at him and the blush had faded.
“Therapy is a good start,” he said, trying to make himself sound encouraging.
“I don’t know how…” she began, but trailed off and fell silent again. Then her gaze lifted to the door. A moment later, Remy strolled into the room. He had their daughter cradled in his arms and while there was a smile on his face, Scott thought he saw the questions the man wanted to ask crowding his gaze.
Scott took that as his cue and rose to his feet. “Get some rest, Dare. We’ll talk again later.” She nodded her head to let him know she understood what he hadn’t said. He turned his attention to the other man and tipped his head in greeting. “Remy.”
“Scott,” Remy replied. The lanky Cajun moved toward the bed and Scott watched as he so very carefully put the baby he held into Dare’s arms. The action prompted her to smile, an expression that was genuine and warm and so very unlike the one she’d worn only moments ago. Scott took it as a sign that things weren’t completely hopeless. That tidbit of information brought hope to his chest and a smile to his face. He’d just passed the door when he heard Dare speak.
“I thought you were going to let Petra get acquainted with Tam and the others.”
“She get fussy and want her mama,” Remy told her. There was warmth in his voice. A warmth borne of love and happiness. And it reminded him of the way Haley had looked at him. The way she’d smiled at him. The way she’d been with him before they’d come back.
Those images followed him as he crossed into the other room to check on Emilia. His mind replayed the way Remy and Dare had looked at one another. Recalled when he and Haley had looked at each other like that. When they’d laughed together, and touched one another, and held each other. And made love like there was nothing or no one else in the world for them.
God, but he missed it.